Vacation and Upcoming Plans!

I know you've all been missing me like crazy and wondering where the heck I went, but it's summer and the livin' is loco! I'm totally lying. I had the plague which dragged on forever (I'm STILL coughing!) and then I started my two weeks of vacation with my family.

We did some travelling to see the in laws (haven't seen them since September! Yikes!), we have plans to visit our friends in North Bay, but it looks like a Halifax trip is on the back burner. For now, anyways. There's about 100 different reasons for that decision, but needless to say, the timing just isn't working out for us. We're hoping to still get there sooner than later, and I DO still have my Bluenose marathon registration for May that I had deferred from May 2011! We'll get there, my lovelies! Come hell or high water, one way or another....we'll be there.

Other than working on my sweet tan, I've been doing a lot of swimming laps thanks to my sister's pool, as well as walking. I don't know HOW people run in the heat. Like, at all. While at the in laws I swam, walked a lot, played badminton, jumped waves and "mostly" watched my diet. I didn't lose anything, but good news is, I also didn't gain! I take that as winning.

August is going to go by fast and furious! It's my daughters birthday and my anniversary, but I also have a bunch of physical activity plans-which I'm loving!

I'm taking a Stand Up Paddling course in August which I think will be a lot of fun, but also a big mess. We'll see how shaky I am with the whole balance thing! I also joined a group of women doing runs every Thursday  evening in my neighbourhood.  It will start at 4.5km and increase the distance from there. My goal is to run the whole 5k without stopping (I currently have been doing 15 mins run, 2 mins walk, 15 mins run) and to improve my speed as well. Second to that, I'd like to increase my distance to 10k. One step at a time, I know!

Lastly, I have some goals for the year ahead that will be starting just before my birthday in September and will be continuing throughout my 39th year. I'll tell you all about that as we get a little closer!

I'm SO excited about what's to come....but also trying to just live in the moment and savour every day individually. As my daughter would say, "YOLO!"

Beachy Keen

We had been in the pool all afternoon, and were back in the house, hair all salty and messy. I was reaching into the fridge to grab something to grill for dinner, with the plan of a salad on the side and some grilled veggies, when the feeling hit me. Standing there in my bare feet, no makeup on my face for the 10th day in a row, I realized, "I wish I lived like this every day." 

I'm not a heat girl, unless I'm by the water. If I'm beach or poolside, bring it on! I've been thinking a lot lately (I know, big surprise!) that I ache for a simple, beachy life. I would be ecstatically happy to spend days by the water, my hair a tangled wavy messy and with easy, comfy shorts and a tee thrown on, without a thought or care in the world about "outfits" and looking "put together."  It's truly when I'm happiest. I get up in the morning and I'm ready to go in less than 10 minutes. I quickly run a brush through my unruly mane, brush my teeth and go.

There was a Dalai Lama quote on Pinterest that really struck me, about how we're all living in bigger houses, with more things, but less time. We're all busy with so much in our lives, and we don't have time to enjoy any of it. Maybe it's nearing 40 and that whole "mid-life crisis" thing is for real, but I am at this point of re-evaluation. Is the daily rote what life is truly all about? Is this it for the next "however long?"

Moving back to Ottawa was supposed to be for a better quality of life, to be able to pursue "more."  I'm SO happy to be back with my oldest besties, with the capability of seeing them all whenever time and schedules allow, and I'd be sad to have to give that up yet again. On top of that, I really feel like it's time to let my kids have a bunch of years in one place, to finish school together with a group they know more than a year or two or maybe three. I'm not "unhappy" here. In a weird twist of events, I just want....less.....and Ottawa is all about "more."  Or so it seems, anyways.

I'd love a smaller, beachier house on the water. A place where I get up in the morning and throw on the same shorts and t-shirt as I wore yesterday to sip coffee by the waves. Where I could swim and sun and run.  Where I could make easy dinners in my bare feet. Where maybe I had less, but my soul felt free and like it could soar. It's Canada, so I know winter would change those bare feet into fuzzy socks, but maybe the months of hippy ease would linger to dull the winter's chill in my bones.

This really isn't about Halifax....it's more about redefining the "dream," I guess. Even though I'm an anxious OCD type, somewhere in there is a bit of a beach girl that doesn't care about what kind of car we drive or the size of our home or keeping up with the Jones. I've just realized that I'm halfway through my life-if I'm lucky-and my vision for the future is different than what it was 20, 15, 10, or 3 years ago.

I'm not sure where that dreaming will lead, or what will happen, because who ever knows these things,  but for now, I'm enjoying every messy, freckled, sun kissed, salty haired moment.

Sick As A Dog = Disjointed Blog

This blog post is going to be a 'lil bit 'o this and a 'lil bit 'o that because frankly I'm slightly delirious and yet felt like putting thoughts down for the world to see.

I felt exhausted and just not quite "right" all of this week. When I went to bed on Thursday night, my throat was starting to feel scratchy and I felt a little congested. I woke up the next morning with a horrible sore throat, barking cough, fever, and sinus congestion. If you add in some body aches, fatigue and a headache-you're the winner in the "guess how crappy Tracey feels" contest!

I'm a horrible sick person. I get super frustrated and impatient to be better. I don't like taking meds of any type, so I go by my own little beliefs which include Pho, tea, toast and honey, ginger ale, and anything hot. It works, and never a medicated hazy moment! I'm hoping that tomorrow I'm feeling way, way, way more like myself because frankly, who has time to be sick? I especially don't have time to be sick in July! What the?

In other news, I'm still on the Insanity crazy train. I didn't get all of my workouts in this week for various reasons, but let me just say-Month 2? It's NUTS. The "Max Cardio" workout? I can't even begin to describe it to you. It's 48 minutes of nonstop jumping and punching and squats and planks. There is *maybe* one water break in the whole thing. I was swearing, grunting, lying on the ground. I'm actually nervous for the next time it's in my rotation.(umm, this week) I have three more weeks to go of Insanity. I have to say though, I am seeing LOTS of changes and I feel pretty bad ass/hard core for even doing it in the first place! I'm down a total of 26 lbs as of this week, since January. That's not too shabby!

I also ran twice this week. Some of my runs lately have left me feeling like a rock star, in that I was pretty sure I can do 5k in 30 minutes or so. See how I said "was" there? This week was a total disaster. Maybe it was the heat, or the fact I ran at night after eating dinner, or the fact that my body knew it was going to have a total sick breakdown-but two of my runs were BRUTAL and felt like I was moving through molasses. Honestly, everyone tells me the race I'm doing in the fall isn't one to worry about time and speed-it's just a run to soak in everything around you. That's weird for me, because honestly, I don't feel like there's a point in doing it if I'm not kicking my own butt, know what I mean? Guess we'll see come race day.

I have a big Bucket List both for summer and for the year ahead, but I'll leave you hanging until I post allll about it. Right now, top of my list is to stop coughing like my lungs are exploding and to clear the jackhammers from inside my skull!

Is June Over Yet?

Holy Moly it's been a busy week and now two!

I've been on 4 field trips in the last 3 weeks, and might I add, two of those were in 45C heat! It was a time, I tell ya!

This is the last week of the school year, and I couldn't be more thankful! I have a Book Club meeting tonight,  I still have to buy teacher gifts, and my eldest is turning 13 on Friday, topped off with a sleepover with 9 of her friends.

CALGON!

My husband was also travelling for much of the month, gone to Newfoundland and Montreal and then Toronto for a week.

I'm starting Month 2 of Insanity today which I hear is an HOUR long of crazy, sweat pouring off you mess. Month 1 started shaky but I ended up getting used to it and even though I was super hungry (like, mad fiend hungry) and more exhausted than usual (there may have been naps! Me! Naps!) I felt super powerful when it was done. I took a Recovery week last week and now am back hammering it out for the next four, coupled with running.

I did a 5k run with my husband yesterday (thankfully in fall like weather, which I LOVE) and somehow (I don't understand how this is possible!) did it in 34 minutes, with 4 of those minutes being walking. I ran 15, walked 2, ran 15, walked 2 home. It was actually 5.6km according to my mapping. That seems impossible to me. I got the Nike+ app so I'll try that out next run and see what it says in terms of pace and distance. If I can get to the point where I don't walk at all, and I can do the 5k in 30 minutes-I'll be a happy camper. I'd like to do it in under 30 but that might be stretching it!

Did I forget to mention? The reason for all of this frantic 5k stuff is because I signed up for my first ever 5k race! I'm doing the Army Marathon in September! This has been on my Bucket List forever and a day so I'm both psyched and terrified. Somehow, I'm also thinking I could do a 10k at some point. Who the heck am I?

That's my June scoop! Now, on to July and hopefully less stress, more fun, more sitting by the pool (my sisters that is!) and more training to be the best me by 40!

Father's Day

I'm looking at the above photo of my Dad, and I really still can't believe he's gone. It's surreal to me, probably because I also didn't get to physically be with him near or at the end, nor did I get to attend any final service for him so closure, as you will, didn't really happen.

Anyhoo. I digress.

It's Father's Day this Sunday, and my girls will have a fantastic day with their Dad. My youngest is making something at school for him, and we always let the "Person of the Day" sleep in, and then have breakfast in bed. From there, he'll choose how he wants to spend the remainder of the day and I'm sure it'll look something like swimming and BBQ'ing.

I tell my girls all of the time that they are extremely lucky and blessed to have the Daddy that they do. He's been hands on since Day 1. They go to him with everything and anything, sometimes to his male chagrin. They aren't shy around him, aren't embarrassed to ask him anything, and enjoy time just sitting with him holding his hand.  It makes my heart clench when I think of the relationship they have with him.

My Father/Daughter relationship was much more complicated. That being said, Father's Day was one of those days where I was sure I'd either see or talk to him. We didn't get together that regularly, so knowing I could count on that day was important to me.

My Dad wasn't a bad person, he didn't have ill intent and he wasn't mean.  He was just selfish, I guess, and too wrapped up in his own wants and needs. At the end of the day though, I knew he loved me. On Father's Day, I got that reassurance and his "Hi Sweetie."  How I miss hearing those simple words.

If you're lucky enough to have your Father still in your life this Father's Day, take the time to let him know what he means to you. I will be spending a moment doing the same.

Peace of my Heart

I know what you are thinking, " Not ANOTHER post about Halifax."  Well, you'll be pleased to know it sort of is, but not specifically. That's as clear as mud, huh?

I went to a Book Club meeting awhile back and we started talking about various places many of us have lived in our lives. One of the ladies was from the North, near where I lived previously. A few had lived in BC, where I also lived for a bit. Some of them were from the East Coast even, but now live here. Many of those that had lived "away" were from my home town.

What caught my interest from the conversation was that no matter where we originated, it didn't always translate to our hearts' home.

The women from the East Coast? They said they'd never live back there. They were surprised I loved it so much and said that coming from a "big city," I probably liked that it was a bit more relaxed, where they were so happy to have the many cultural events, shopping, shows and activities for their kids.  I, personally, didn't find that lacking on the East Coast but it's all a matter of perspective, right?

One lady was from Ontario but felt like Victoria was where she was meant to be. She said she just felt completely differently in her soul when there. She said she needed the mountains and the water and the weather to feel total contentment.

It's a funny thing isn't it? I guess it boils down to personal aesthetic and priorities and what your experience in  each place resembles.

I've lived in or visited most of this great country-even if just to pass through. I've lived in Kelowna, I've stayed in Victoria, I've driven across from there to Banff, to Winnipeg, to the North of Ontario. I've been to Quebec City and Montreal and surroundings. I've visited New Brunswick, swam at Parlee Beach, did Magnetic Hill a billion times, walked on the ocean floor. I've renewed vows and relaxed completely in PEI. I grew up in Ontario in a beautiful city with tons of green space and amenities and culture and safety.

I'm so happy to be surrounded by my friends here. It's been wonderful getting to be a part of their daily lives, their joys, supported in their sorrows. I wish I could pack them all up with me and take them everywhere my wanderlust heart wishes to travel.

My soul though? (here's the part you were dreading) It's still in Halifax. I can't accurately describe it-and much of those women mentioned above couldn't either. It's just an inner peace, a quietude. It was a sense of "THIS, this is where I'm supposed to be."

I was telling someone recently about my time there and how much it meant to be, how important it is to me to go back, and she answered, "You fell in love with the ocean, didn't you? You're an ocean girl with the wind in your hair. I can totally see it in your eyes."

I guess that's it, and I guess it's written all over my face.

I'm an ocean girl, with the wind in my hair.

Where do YOU feel most like yourself? Is there a place that you feel yourself completely relax and settle contentedly?

I Work OUUUUUTTTT

Bootycamp finished up it's course for April/May, and though it runs all summer, I, my friends, do not. I am just not a gal that does well in the heat. I can't even imagine doing the types of strenuous we did in 38C so...for the summer at least, I'm out! That left me wondering what the heck I would do with myself, fitness wise, during these sweltering next few months. I want to challenge myself again, start from crap and build up, and I'm also working towards a 5k that doesn't take me a bazillion years to run or even run/walk.

Obviously, I've lost my ever loving mind, because what I decided to do is clearly nuts.

I'm doing the Insanity workout AND running 3x a week. Did you hear me? Insanity AND running.

Let me preface this by saying,  after all my hardcore bootycamp working out, I truly thought Insanity wouldn't be THAT difficult. I used to find the Shred really hard, and now it's kinda ZZZZZZ. When I tell you bootycamp whipped my butt, I'm not even kidding!

I'm on Week 2, Day 2 of this Insanity/run craziness. Two days a week I do a 38 minute Insanity DVD and then hop on the treadmill and run 30 mins. I'm at the point now where I just run the whole 30, no walking. Well, I'm lying-that actually only happened once (on Sunday) but that's what I'm going for now! It's the new standard! I also do Insanity alone the 3-4 days of the week so that I'm working out 5-6 days in total.

The moves in the DVD are similar to many of the bootycamp exercises I did. The idea is using your own body weight to build muscle, so there are no weights or kettlebells or whatever. It's just me, my yoga mat and Shaun T. (well, and a bunch of other folks that already annoy the snot outta me!) The difference with Insanity is that there are hardly any breaks. It's like GO GO GO and then...die. The buff folks in the DVD take breaks, tap out, spit....which makes me feel better when I have to stop a second and then get going again. I'm literally DRIPPING all over my floor by the time I'm done. I know, sick!

I've also never been so tired in my life. By 3pm I'm begging for a nap. Those who know me well know that, I'm  "anti-sleep."  I'd pretty much rather do ANYTHING than sleep. It's just such a waste of time! Well, not so much anymore. I've been in bed by 10pm and turning the lights out around 11-12pm. I know that's not "early" to those of you who go to bed at like 9pm, but for me-that's monumental.

I'm also starving like crazy. I work out, have a recovery drink, and then pretty much cannot wait more than a moment before shoving food into my face.

I've got some organized workouts lined up with an instructor too, but I couldn't fit them in this week. I'm hoping to do those occasionally over the summer. (Wednesday nights and Saturday morning-early!)

We'll see if I can stick this out for the next two months-minus vacay time. I'm playing around with the Insanity schedule, making it work for me in terms of number of days and switching up the days of the week I'm supposed to do whatever DVD is called for that day. As long as I get each of them into the week, then I'm good.

When the trainer warns you in the warm up that he's "worried about this workout" and then collapses on the floor at the end of it and says, "this s@*t is bananas!" you know you've survived something hardcore!

                                                  (image from dvdstreets.com)