Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Deafening Silence

As those of you who have followed this blog know, when there are lapses in posts it usually means one of two things. I'm either super happy and super busy, or I'm in a super funk.

When I'm fabulously busy with social engagements and activities, my blogging can go by the wayside. When I'm feeling out of my groove, I tend to isolate myself and close ranks so that I can ride my "stuff" out without bringing others down. That's not to say I'm all depressed, it could just mean my head, which NEVER shuts down, is working through a lot of issues and thoughts that just don't yet have a "place." if you know me, at all, you know that I don't do well without a little internal filing system. EVERYTHING has a place, or it should. Somehow, shockingly, not every issue fits nicely into my personal puzzling. That takes some introspection, and some time.

Things are moving along at a quick pace. School, travel, activities, schedules all seem to speed one week into another. Many days, I feel I'm just hanging on for the ride as we coast through. In my current state of mind, I'm okay with being dragged along. It's end of October almost, and in terms of how settled I feel? It could be first week of September.

Moving back here has stirred up a lot of differing emotions and shaken the dust on neglected chapters of books I'd thought I'd closed. They'll take some revisiting and I'll need to start finding their place once again. Some of that exploration can happen here, but because of how private a person I am, most of it won't. I'll need to seek out new outlets and activities because one can only avoid sleep and wallow in fatigue and isolation for so long.

"I'm just doing Life right now, I'm just doing Me."