Thursday, March 24, 2011

Accomplishments? Zero

Since Monday I've been feeling a little under the weather. Nothing you could really put your finger on, just sorta...blah.

By Tuesday night, I was starting to get shivers and chills and just felt exhausted. A cough and scratchy throat was stellar in the mix!

Wednesday? Nausea and eyes feeling like they were weighed down by 5 pound weights each.

Today is Thursday, and I can honestly say I've never felt QUITE this tired. And I'm tired A LOT.

So....I've really done a whole lot of nothing this week. I still managed to bake two dozen chocolate chip cookies for my family (okay, so I've decided that they also cure nausea. It could happen!) and made my homemade spaghetti sauce, and did 4 loads of laundry and put it all away. So, "not much" in my normal Mommy world, but still. I've tried to nap, but dang it all, it's not my forte. I'm therefore still crazy tired.

In case you've been wondering why I'm a lame-o, there you have it. Or, more lame than usual anyways.

I'm hoping the weekend brings good health and good rest and that by next week-I'm full of my usual piss and vinegar!

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Real Friends

My eldest daughter is at that oh so delicate tween age. It's a difficult point in any of our lives, with so many challenging life lessons. One of those, as most of us girls know, centers around female friendships.

In some ways, girlfriends can be your saving grace, your strongest allies. In other ways, girlfriends can be catty and hurtful. The trick is in learning how to navigate those waters and decipher in which camp an individual lies.

I've made horrendous choices in the friendship department. I've been very close to people that I thought had my back, when really they only had their own. I've romanticised friendships in my head, only to find out that the qualities I had assigned to those individuals weren't truly apt.

I've also made amazing, life long friendships with wonderful women. These are gals that no matter what the circumstance are standing there for me. They are standing beside me when I just need the numbers. They are holding me up when I am having trouble standing on my own. We've seen each other through everything crappy life throws at you-and we genuinely and authentically want the very best for each other.

It's taken me a long time to be able to decipher the difference. Sometimes, I feel like maybe my radar is off and I'm just naive in thinking the best of people. As much as someone can prove me wrong, there are always those that then come along and prove me right.

So, I try to counsel my daughter to be careful and to keep her cards close to her vest, while still letting people in. I ask her to not give more of herself than she's getting in return. I also caution her not to compromise her integrity for another, even when their actions are less than stellar.

Mostly, I think we're both learning that we want to be surrounded by females that are encouraging, supportive and real. We need friendships that will lift us up, make us happy and bring light, and that will prove as loyal and honest with us as we are with them. I think we are both finding those people in our new home and province, happily.

I hope my daughter weeds her way through this learning process with the grace that is common to her. I also wish her the kind of friends that I've been lucky to count on in my life.

Sometimes, a girl just needs her girlfriends.

Monday, March 21, 2011


I'm an old pro at sabotaging myself. Yep, I don't need any help in the matter, I have mastered it all on my own.

I used to do it in romantic type relationships. I guess if I lay down on the psychology couch, it was a way of preempting the hurt I felt confident was coming anyways. I'd just take matters into my own hands and find some way to screw the whole thing up in the messiest, most disastrous way possible.

Uh huh. I'm pretty much my own worst enemy.

When I met my husband, no joke, it still took me a few years to get out of that mindset. I don't know how many times I pushed and pushed but the poor masochistic dude just wouldn't GO.

I've also done it in terms of meeting goals. I'll procrastinate hard core so that when it all comes down to it, I never end up reaching things I've desired for myself. I'm sure that has a hint of "fear of failure, so don't try at all" to it as well.

I was reading blogs the other day and looking at all of these fabulous people who have totally changed their lifestyles and lost crazy amounts of weight. I mean, like hundreds. An example? Biggest Loser. Yet, I can't seem to make a lasting commitment to way less?

I'll start off great. I'll be gung ho. Then, I just start going completely off the path. I start buying and eating things I know I shouldn't, and then get sad and lament why I keep staying in this cycle where clearly I'm not happy.

I have motivation, I don't think that's the issue. I don't really know what the issue is, actually. Fear of actually reaching a goal? Lack of willpower or drive?

I need hypnosis or something. Maybe Prozac.

Thoughts? How do you stop yourself from self-sabotaging and keeping your eye on the prize?

Thursday, March 17, 2011

Happy St. Patrick's Day

It's one of my favourite days of the year, today. That's right, St.Patrick's day. Some people just don't get why I love it so-more than Halloween even! Well, here's why!

My family tradition on St.Patrick's day includes eating many yummy foods. As soon as I got up, I put the meat on to brown and then into the crockpot. I added in the veggies and some Guinness awhile later. I've had corned beef simmering on the stove, and now it's roasting for a bit in the oven. Cabbage will be steamed to go alongside, as well as Colcannon (mashed potatoes with cabbage) and Irish Soda bread. My brother might have a Guinness to drink-but beer and I are not friends.

I also crank some of my favourite tunes, by some of my favourite bands, all day long. I've been listening to Great Big Sea, The Dubliners, The Irish Rovers and Celtic Thunder. I love so many songs, "Black Velvet Band" and "Irish Lullaby" being in the top five. My favourite though? "Ireland's Call." Whooo, I've cried several times today listening to that one.

My whole family dresses in green, I wear my Claddagh ring (given to me from my husband when I was pregnant and my wedding band no longer fit) and we just celebrate our heritage and our family. We eat and laugh and dance and sing.

This year, I'm away from "home" and the tradition carries on with just my wee group. My husband is even working late, so we're down to the girls and I. The table is all set in green, with my great grandmother's Irish dishware.

I'm always upbeat and proud on St.Patrick's day. Erin Go Bragh-forever!


Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Sleepy Heads

Since we were in Florida, the sleep happening (or NOT happening) in my house has been very shoddy. My youngest came back from our vacation with a new penchant for night waking several times and having difficulty going back to sleep.

She went through a phase like this before, about two years ago. It's difficult because she's overtired and grumpy, which then causes her to make no darn sense. She'll cry and ask to be tucked in again, and yet when I do, she says she doesn't want me tucking her in. So, I begin to walk away and then the tears and yelling start that she doesn't want me to GO. Ugh.

Consequently, my husband has taken to giving her three chances to settle or he takes her to the basement, where he sits with her in the dark, in the hopes that she can cry and get it out of her system without keeping the rest of the house awake. This sometimes works, and sometimes escalates the situation.

The last week or so has calmed down in the crying freak outs, but now it's consistent one a.m. wake ups. This is followed by my waking up, squished and sweating, around four a.m. with her in our bed. I then move to her bed.

Obviously, this musical beds and no REM sleep has got to stop, but I'm not really sure how to do that. We've put her to bed earlier, let her listen to quiet music in the dark first, stay up a bit later-all with no luck.

So, I'm putting it out there Sleep Whisperers!!! Give me your no fail, get 'em back to bed techniques! I'm truly desperate! I'm also really, really tired.


Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Talk Is Cheap

Even though my "Love Language" might be "Words," I'm the type of girl that isn't impressed by empty ones.

My friend Tania and I were discussing this the other day, and while I DO think expressing yourself emotionally takes courage, most times, it's just not enough. I'm a talker, for sure. I value communication in all it's various forms, and I actually really admire those that can express their emotions with eloquence. I can chat and discuss and argue, but break down and tell you how I'm feeling? I'm not great at that. I always feel weak when it happens, so I try to minimize it's occurrence.

However much I like to hear appreciative comments or constructive commentary, I'm the opposite when it comes to empty promises and feigned apology. Don't give me your lip service as it's just going to fall on deaf ears.

Tania and I were contemplating how many times we've heard people talk, talk, talk about their plans or promises. You know what? Blah, blah, blah. If you aren't going to back it up with ACTION, don't even bother saying it. You're just wasting your time and mine.

Maybe that goes hand in hand with my not being a "romantic." I'm that girl that doesn't want syrupy words of flattery. It's all embarrassing and juvenile to me. Even as a teen or young woman, if a guy said the old, "You're SO hot!" I threw up in my mouth a little bit. Really? That's the best you got?

What I DO want? Behaviours that back up your words. If you're apologetic, let your actions show it by trying to actually make amends. If you're over the moon in love, how does that look? By the same token, if you're angry? Don't walk away tight lipped and not say anything for 3 days. I don't want to be yelled at or anything, I'm not a glutton for punishment. Geeze though, not only am I not a mind reader, I also am not the type that's going to follow you around, patting your hand and asking if you're okay until you crack. Nope. I'm more likely to let you stew and ignore it.

Some might say that I come across as a stone cold b*(#$ around this issue. I'm okay with that. I'd rather be someone who not only says what I mean, but can stand by it and say that I backed it up too.

The old saying still holds true.

Actions speak louder than words.

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Well, It Started Off Good...

Yesterday, I woke up to sunshine and almost all of the snow totally gone! I felt a little spring in the air, and it caused a little spring in my step! I was totally exhausted from not sleeping much the night before (I'll get to that at a later date!) but I felt like I could accomplish just about ANYTHING.

I got up, got the kids out the door for school, and set off to work. I stripped the beds, put fresh linens on and threw in the load of laundry. From there, I set to cleaning the bathrooms. It was 9am and I was way ahead of my game plan.

I slapped on my sneakers and jumped on the treadmill to do Week 3 of my C25K. As I was running along, my phone started ringing. I slowed down quickly once I saw that it was the school.

My youngest wasn't feeling great and wanted to come home. She said her stomach hurt a little and her throat was a bit sore. I figured by the time I got there it would be lunch, and that only left two hours of school. So, I asked her if she could stick it out. She said she didn't have a fever and she really wanted to come home, but she'd try.

I hung up and finished my run and jumped in the shower. The whole time, I'm feeling like the most rotten Mom, ever. What kind of Mom leaves their kid at school??
But, I did.

She came home on the bus, and other than the raspy voice, seemed pretty fine. I kept her home today just in case. She is definitely hoarse, but otherwise, seems no worse for wear.

As for my day today? Ya, I haven't got much done at all. I had warned her that I had some computer related things to do like bills, blog, rescheduling a hair appointment, responding to emails. She said she'd just be resting so it would be okay. The resting? Not so much.

Here's a sample exchange between us, as an example.

Me: Hey, stop singing so much! Your throat is going to be really sore!

Her: Mommy, singing is the only thing that helps me GET through my day!

A few moments later?

Her: My throat really hurts now.


That folks, has been my day. So, looks like my plans are pushed back a day and I'll be doubling up on my old "to do" list, tomorrow. I'm sorry if this post seems disjointed today, but I have a little smokers voice behind me belting out some Taylor Swift tunes.

How's YOUR week looking?

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Wanna Play Catch Up?

It's been awhile since I posted, with good reason! I was in FLORIDA, baby! I didn't mention the trip previously because, you know, it's one of those things you aren't supposed to do since then crazies know you are gone and yada yada yada. We had an amazing time, sharing a house with my sister and her family. We visited Disney, SeaWorld, Medieval Times, Grandparents and every restaurant and pit stop bathroom available. Seriously! Kids are like dogs, it seems! They want to mark their territory!

Now that we're back in the cold, it's back to reality. One thing going away taught me though? Umm, we're doing it again. Next year we're talking Cuba!

So, here we are, back to routine and scheduling and the same 'ol. Or is it???

I'm actually totally excited about everything coming up, and that means sharing with all of you, of course!

I've met a great group of ladies in my new town and we've done Starbucks for coffee, Cora's for brunch, and recently, Greek food for dinner. We've laughed like crazy and talked about the things only women can talk about, while still laughing like crazy. We all had so much fun that we've decided to keep it going! I now have a brunch date coming up mid-march, and plans to make some meals at "What's For Supper?" when our calendars can work out a mutual date and time.

On top of all of that? I just signed up to run my first ever 5k race. I'd call it a marathon, but apparently 5k isn't considered a marathon. Well, it is to me!!! I'm doing the Couch to 5K, as I've mentioned, but slacked off with the trip and everything. I'm back to it, restarting at Week 2. My plan is to do the program on my treadmill, and by the time I'm finished the 8 weeks, it should be warm enough to start the outdoor portion of the training. The race is end of May. I signed up with the ladies I've met, and while we signed up to walk it, a bunch of us are hoping to run it. Either way, I'm doing a 5k and that's what has me psyched.

Lastly, I've been chosen to blog/write/contribute to a new online "Women's Lifestyle Magazine," launching March 4th!!! I can't even begin to tell you how excited I am about the opportunity! I'll still be writing here as well, but I'll be blogging there and contributing articles. I hope you'll all check it out and offer me your support and encouragement, because truth be told, I'm also a bit nervous! You can "like" it on Facebook and follow on Twitter, but of course I want and need you to join the site, comment and actively participate! You can find it at

If you didn't think all of THAT was exciting, life changing kind of news....keep following. I have a feeling the next few months are going to just continue to BLOW UP! Like Charlie Sheen, I'm WINNING!