Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Introvert? Extrovert?

Do you think it's possible to be an extroverted introvert? Or, an introverted extrovert? Where exactly do the lines get drawn on the distinctions between the two polarities?

I'm usually what people who are introverted call an extrovert. I get nervous about speaking in public, but once I'm up there I'm totally fine and even enjoy it. If I go to a party where I don't know a soul, I'll go around the room and introduce myself and have an easy time making small talk. When I'm out and about in the world, I talk to strangers to the point where I often get their whole life story. We've moved several times, and I tend to make new friends pretty quickly and easily because I have no qualms about putting myself out there.

In fact, without social contact and a network of differing peoples and personalities in my circle, I get a little isolated and down.  That's why Twitter is so great for me, I love trading chats with all walks of life from all over. I really DO truly believe that everyone has something to teach or offer to help me re-frame my outlook. It's refreshing to me.

Yet, I am also very particular in my need for quiet space. My husband laments the fact that I'll insulate myself once the kids are in bed and I have no other obligations to my family or home. In those quiet moments of the night, I will sit quietly and surf the net or just be alone with my thoughts.

I'm also more than likely not to share personal facts or feelings outside of my own minds ramblings or with a select one or two individuals. I'm not typically the type that's going to "spill it" and ask for your feedback. I prefer to work things out in my own way, in my own time. Yes, that takes quiet introspection and being alone.

I seem to swing from super outgoing and sociable to solitary and withdrawn. That seems a little Polar now that I've expressed it as such. I'm sure that's totally the norm on the introvert/extrovert spectrum.


Tuesday, November 8, 2011

How Is It November?

We're already in the second week of November, and for the life of me, I can't figure out where the time has gone. We've been in our new house exactly two months now, Halloween has passed and Christmas is coming around the corner.

My kids had a great Halloween, while I continued my current state of being on auto-pilot. For the first time, my eldest went out with friends as her sister and I hit the pavement with their cousins. That felt a little strange, I won't lie! We also attended a family Halloween party with my sister's friends which was a lot of fun.

As November entered, we had my husband traveling, and much of the little things in the house done. We haven't touched any of the bigger jobs, but the decorating is taking shape. I've even done some of my Christmas shopping. My goal is to be finished by the first week in December so I can enjoy that month with friends and family.

As to my head space, I'm not sure where I'm at. I seem to have little motivation for......anything. I'm exhausted most days. I've upped my sleep and some vitamins so I'll give it a month and if there's no change, I'll hit the doctor for some blood work. I'm not exercising, I'm not watching what I eat as stringently, I'm just sort of "blah." I'm not sure if it's emotional or physical I'm just waiting it out a bit. I won't let it go on forever, no worry there, but I'll give it some time and see if I find my way back to myself.

Hopefully it won't be too long of a journey.

Monday, November 7, 2011

The Study of Human Behaviour

Humans are such interesting and tricky creatures aren't they? Happy one moment, sad the next, angry without reason, flushed with joy. It's a continual roller coaster, and every second of it fascinates me. I've always been interested in observing and analyzing, and "how people work" is pretty much one of my fav pastimes.

No matter what the background, everybody comes to adulthood with some sort of emotional baggage. It's not so much the baggage itself that interests me, we all have a story of heartache or loss, it's more the way people try to hide, avoid, excuse or handle their baggage that is intriguing.

Oh, don't think I don't peruse myself under the big microscope of self-analysis as well. I'm a confronter by nature, and I'm also uber self-critical. I've pretty much "got my number" by this point.

It's the dichotomy of allowances people make for themselves but not for others, or the forgiveness they bestow on one situation but not another, the way they'll find to loathe one person, but uphold another or the way they'll excuse those they love for the same transgression as committed by someone they don't.

There are those that act tough to camouflage a fragile and sensitive spirit, those who pretend not to hurt by acting angry, and those that avoid in order not to address or feel at all. There are those that pretend to themselves that things are unfixeable so they never have to take action.

I'm not judging or saying there's one way to "be." I think we all survive and get by as we can on this path. Some are further ahead, maybe, enlightenment and growth wise and some are finding their way little by little. Would I rather people be pro-active in some way, like finding remedies and recognizing an excuse from reality, or by letting go of blame and releasing anger? Sure, I would. But like everyone, I also struggle to always do those very things. I like to think I get there eventually, which I qualify is better than never getting there at all.

Sometimes, I think I should have become a psychologist due to this interest in the behaviors of humankind. However, Armchair Psychology 101 is a lot more fun and doesn't require actually trying to guide someone to the truth. It's a lot less painful this way, and a lot cheaper too.