Saturday, August 27, 2011

Copycat Compliment?

They say that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, but sometimes it gets a little *too* complimentary, ya know what I'm saying?

It's one thing to see something you like and purchase or incorporate it into your lifestyle, making it your own. I DO like when people think my idea, creativity, interests or activities are so awesomesauce that they want to also do what I'm doing. Hey, who doesn't like the ego stroke?

What if it goes further than that though? What if everything you join, like, do, want, ARE, is copied? What if it happens on a repeated basis?

What then do you do? Has it gone from flattering to bunny boiling?

My sister suggests saying I've now taken up skydiving without a parachute.

Now THERE'S an idea!

Thursday, August 25, 2011

Carrie Diaries And Psychoanalysis

I'm reading my nieces' books by Candace Bushnell called, "The Carrie Diaries" that are set BEFORE the Sex and the City series. As a fan of the show, it's interesting to see where these characters started from as late teens and up, and of course the growth as they became the familiar people on screen.

Many people often ask, "Which one of the four women are YOU?" There are even quizzes online to determine that very thing! While I think my friends and I all lean to certain individual characters more than others, I also feel like all women are a little part of each of them. For example, I tend to relate to Carrie the most and it's the result I get in those quizzes. However, I'm not into fashion and I don't dress kind of kooky. I'm like Miranda in that I'm a cynic and sarcastic, and not at all sentimental about love or relationships-until I had my children. I'm like Charlotte in that I'm big into manners, etiquette and trying to do the "right" thing. Samantha? Well, I'm least like her but I've had my moments.

The books are interesting because it shows the characters as very young people, and what they were like before they were the women we all came to know and love. If I look at them as described back in the day, it makes it even more clear which one I am more like, and which least.

I think the four women all express little parts that encompass the many dizzying aspects that make us women and our struggles with love and friendship and relationships, careers and family.

I have certainly changed from the teen I was with the many ideals and dreams, to the anxious first time Mom who also ran a busy daycare to the woman I am today. I've believed in things that weren't true, I've believed in people I shouldn't, I've been hurt and I've been happy. I'm finally at a point in my life where I feel like I'm comfortable and at peace with it and with myself-no matter which direction this mad storyline travels. I'm not angry or trying to prove anything anymore, I'm not harbouring resentment or fear. I've always hated game playing, and now I'll specifically remove myself from any drama that others try to create in situations where there truly isn't any. I don't want to have to fight and struggle and I wish the same for those around me. Situations that used to draw me into the fray guns a blazin' now have me walking away whistling. I'm a more open, tolerant, gal these days-with a side of feisty that will never leave me completely, of course.

I know that life always throws you curve balls when you're the most complacent, so I don't rest blissfully unaware, but if my life were a series of books and my character was riding the arc of the plot line, I'd be somewhere near the 3/4 mark in terms of finding myself and my place. It's a good place to be.

I don't believe in Happy Endings, but I do believe in creating my own Happy Enough.

Thursday, August 18, 2011

In Transition

We've made it to our new/old hometown after two full days on the road, eating horrible fast food and sleeping in hotels. It was an "interesting" ride to say the least. Two kids, my Mom, my hubby and I, and our dog. On top of that we had a load of our belongings on top. Driving long distance is never fun, at the best of times, but when everyone is tense and stressed about a move none of us really want to do....well, it's kind of a recipe for disaster. Never the less, we survived and we made it to our destination.

We're staying at my sister's mansion (I joke but...not really) for the next two weeks. She's got a fantastic pool and her kids have been staying home from daycare to hang out with mine. I've literally spent every day outside, all day, with them in the pool. My nephew thinks I'm awesome (and I kinda am! HA!) for doing all the crazy jumps off the diving board that they are doing! It's been a lot of fun and even though it's kids and dogs galore, it's a nice way to transition into our new home in a few weeks.

My husband goes to do the pack and load and final close next week, and then we move into our new place Sept. 1st or 2nd. Once we settle in, it'll be registration for activities for the kids and I, and school prep and all of that good (but chaotic) stuff.

Feelings still feels surreal to me. I don't feel like I really live here, yet. I feel like I'm on another visit. I don't know how others who move back to where they grew up feel but, for me, I really don't want to just step back into what was once my life. I've grown and changed so much in the last four years, I'd say with the most change in the last year, that the life that I once had here is no resemblance to the one I now lead. I'm looking forward to new friendships that reflect those changes, and new activities that I now enjoy. Some friendships may end, others may change and hopefully new ones will grow.

It's hard to explain to people, especially when you've moved back to your hometown, that you aren't ecstatic about the move. My family and I loved Halifax in a way we never imagined we would-I know I've said that 100x already, but it's true. I'm hoping our new "home" will make us as happy, as embraced and accepted, as our old. I pray that this move was a good decision, for all of us.