Wednesday, March 31, 2010

If I Didn't Have Bad Luck, I'd Have No Luck At All

On the continuation of my craptastic week, I woke up this morning prepared to do my normal, run of the mill, everyday routine with my eyes half closed. Little did I know how half closed those eyes would end up being.

I have no idea how this happened, or that it's happened inexplicably before as well. I went to put my contact lenses in and was having trouble with one. My eye was watering, I thought I could feel an eyelash in there or something, and it just felt all wrong. I took it out and decided to inspect it a little further. There, in a horseshoe shape, sat a scratch on the lens. How in heck it got there overnight I don't know.

The last time this happened, I wore my contact anyways. That was a big mistake. I ended up scratching my cornea and the pressure in my eye was unbearable. I had to wear my glasses for almost a month and being in the light was like being a Vampire during daylight. I hated my glasses at that time too, so on top of pain was mortification.

I wear gas permeable lenses, which are hard lenses. They are more expensive than soft and obviously are prone to breaking or cracking. I have really bad eyesight as well as astigmatism. I got smart the last time I was ordering contacts though and ordered a new snazzy pair of Coach glasses that I would be okay with wearing if anything horrendous should happen once more.

I can only think that maybe the crack was on its way and just finally gave out or that I was just due for a new pair. The bad news is that my optometrist is in my hometown and I live several hours away. I left two messages today with no response. All I want is one left eye contact re-ordered and shipped ASAP. I don't know the procedure for all of this, having just gone to my optometrists and received new contacts the old fashioned way in the past. Did I mention I want them like yesterday as well? Even with my fancy schmancy fan dangled glasses, I'd rather my contacts and sunglasses any day.

Seriously, this week is beginning to take its' toll. I'm rethinking even leaving the confines of my four walls for fear of what's going to happen next. Bad luck runs in three's, haven't ya heard???

If you're me, bad luck is your constant nemesis, hence the old saying in the title. Truer words have never been spoken.

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Grocery Shopping With My Mom

My Mom is visiting for the next while, and today we headed out to get some groceries for Easter, as well as the things that my Mom particularly likes to eat in her daily routine.

Let me pause right now to let you with my Mom is a dangerous, dangerous thing.

My Mom and I are both what I'd call "foodies." We talk about food, we think about food, we probably enjoy food a little too much. I love perusing recipes and even grocery store flyers! I enjoy trying new foods and eating something extra delicious seems decadently indulgent.

As we were strolling through the aisles picking out items for our contributions to Easter dinner, many other foods not on the "list" made it into the cart. I'd grab something and ask my Mom, "Have you tried these? Oh my, you HAVE to try them" and in they'd go. Then my Mom would see something and inquire, "Should I get these? Just to have?" The cart began piling up with Easter dinner as well as many, many other yummy goodies.

What qualifies as a goodie to me? I bet you're thinking something sweet or chocolaty, right? You'd be dead WRONG. Nope, what floats our boats runs more along the lines of olives stuffed with garlic, pickled vegetables, sauerkraut, artichoke hearts and blue cheese. I've also introduced my Mom to Swiss Chalet dipping sauce (NOT the gravy-read the labels carefully!) which is only one WW point. I, frankly, could drink the stuff. She's now as addicted as I am. I've also introduced her to Party Mix-which of course is nowhere near good for you, but dang it's good stuff, especially the ringolos. The sodium content requires me not to weigh myself for a few days due to water retention, however. It's an "occasional" snack at my place and I generally try to avoid it's grocery aisle totally.

When I grocery shop on my own, I go through the weekly flyers and see what's on sale. I then decide what my menu will look like for the next two weeks, excluding weekends where we fly by the seat of our collective pants, and based on those sale items. I then travel the aisles quite speedily, usually sticking to my list except for odds and ends I may have forgotten.

In contrast, my Mom and I strolled through the aisles perusing new items, talking about favourite dishes, planning for upcoming meals and sharing ideas. We meandered leisurely and picked up some of our individual favs for the other to enjoy.

It was a little slice of Heaven, I tell ya. The only thing better will be the sampling of these wares. Of course, then comes the tears when she leaves as I see the scale and have to climb my way back to my normal eating routine.

For today though........savouring life's little morsels of culinary joy.

Monday, March 29, 2010

This Month May Be The Death Of Me

My husband informed me that he was going to play some football last night with some guys from work. My husband is 40. These "guys" are 20-somethings. After literally no time at all, I hear my blackberry buzzing with a pin from my hubs. He said he screwed his knee and heard a pop. I didn't know how serious it was, so I asked if he could pick up some milk on the way home. I'm ever the empathetic wife, no? His reply was "are you serious???" I figured at that point that maybe it was pretty bad after all.

Fast forward to today, and a visit to the Emergency. The doctors drained several needles full of blood and did some x-rays. They surmise that he tore his cartilage because of the amount of blood they drained from the swelling. If he had just strained or sprained something, the blood wouldn't be so copious. For now, he's to stay off it for a few days and keep icing it. He has crutches to get around, but he's mostly just sitting unless he has to move. If he can't put any weight on it in a week's time, or if the swelling doesn't go down, he'll have to go back to the doctor and they'll order an MRI with the possibility of surgery. Fun times!!!

Back to my empathy now. I don't drive, which I know is totally ridiculous but I can't solve TODAY, and that means that the groceries that I need to get and the activities my girls go to on Mondays and Wednesdays, are going to suffer. I'm begging neighbours and friends but I have to admit, this sucks.

The other thing that is annoying about this snag in the road is the fact that mid-April my husband is travelling. Then again the week after that. Oh, then the first week of May he goes to Mexico. What the $##@!!!!! It's all ME baby. All of the doggy care, all of the kiddie care, and now apparently also all of the hubby care. It may also mean my girls miss some activities. I'm kind of annoyed.

Yes, I know he didn't snap like a frail withered twig on purpose. I know he's old and frail. (HA!) It just cramps my style and is seriously going to be draining.

Really though, I feel for the guy.

Sort of.

Saturday, March 27, 2010

Lapse In Blogging

It wasn't my intention to take some time off from blogging the last few days, but there ya have it. My week was just THAT exciting that I had no time to write.

My Mom arrived on Wednesday for a visit for a few weeks. As soon as she got here, my girls were all over her and I'm sure it was within an hour that they had her crafting and reading and scratching their backs. She taught them how to make little boxes out of note cards only using a stapler and ruler. They, of course, were in heaven. Me? Not so much. I do not look forward to hundreds of little cardboard boxes everywhere in my house, nor the loss of all of my cards.

We got Granny settled in with her own bathroom and bedroom and got all of her stuff tucked away, but with a little sadness. Granny left the next day til Sunday (tomorrow) to visit with a friend she hasn't seen in 40 years and stay at her place in a town about 1 hour away. The girls were definitely not stoked to have Granny arrive and leave again within a short 24 hours, but they understood this was an exciting adventure for my Mom. We waved her off and we will pick her back up tomorrow.

She's staying with us into mid April so the girls will have many, many a night with their beloved favourite person. (next to me, of course) They are arguing over who gets to sleep with Granny when and they've already eaten all of the Worther's candies she brought.

It's great having my Mom here, just chatting and laughing into the night. I don't get much sleep, but because I don't get to see her as often as I used to, it's all worth it. She's a very special person to my girls and I love watching them interacting together. The time goes very quickly and then she's off again.

You'll have to excuse the hit and miss blogging for the next little while as I enjoy having my Mom filling my days.

Tuesday, March 23, 2010


I am counting down the days until my new fav show is back after it's long, long, long hiatus. That's right folks, GLEE. You can call me a Gleek and I'll wear it with pride.

We've spent the time getting our Gleek on by listening to all of the soundtracks by the show, and I can safely say that I can sing along to absolutely every single one of them.

My family has totally gone Glee nuts. My daughters love the music, and enjoyed watching some episodes (with some channel changing and muting when inappropriate stuff came on the screen!) and we all have our fav characters.

While Finn maybe the main character/hunk....he's not my type of guy. I'm ALL about Puck. This upcoming season, the tease has been that while we THINK we know the characters, it's all going to get changed up and people will do things we least expect from them. BRING IT!

I've also heard about lots of exciting cameos from some awesome actors, like Neil Patrick Harris and even a Madonna music inspired episode.

It's supposed to be back April 4th......and I cannot, cannot, cannot wait.

Can ya tell????

Sunday, March 21, 2010

On Death, And Dying

I have a laundry list of fears that range from the conventional to the abstract. For instance, I'm terrified of flying. The other big one, that actually sends me into a panic attack, is dying.

Whenever I start thinking about Death, and Lord knows it happens at weird times and more often than I'd like, I have to forcibly tell myself to go on to another topic. I start listing "Shiny, Happy Thoughts" in my head to erase the scary cloud that dying leaves lingering overhead.

When we moved here, as I was getting to know my neighbour, we started talking throughout the months about everything under the sun. The subjects of flying, and consequently dying, came up. The uncanny truth was revealed that not only did my friend have the exact same phobias as me, but "death" sent her into heart clenching shocks as well. Who knew? It was comforting to know that I'm less of a freak.

I wonder sometimes if the fact that we can, in some ways, "move on" from a loved ones death actually means that we're just in some sort of denial of our own mortality. If we just remember them fondly and move forward, we're in some way avoiding thinking about the disgusting reality of where they are now and that one day, we'll be there too. That, of course, starts the thought train down the path of religion. Human beings are a smart bunch, but we're also really good at denial and avoidance. It's not a stretch to think that the progression of philosophy from Greek Gods to explain natural phenomenon, to more current doctrines, isn't a result again of our need to make something make sense, or make it somehow more pleasant. That's not to say that the thought of dying is somehow pleasant now. 'Cause it's not. At least, not to me.

There are people out there, believe it or not, that say things like, "there's no sense worrying about it. When it's your time, it's your time." What the? I have never understood how some individuals can be so flippant about it all. You know the types. They are fearless in the face of crazy, risky activities. I am in shock and awe while in their presence, and the line is always the same uttered from various mouths, "if it's my time, it's my time. Nothing I can do about it." Umm, ya, there is something you can do about it. How about NOT jumping out of an airplane and upping your chances? I just don't get the nonchalance about it all. "If I'm going to die, I'm going to die." Or, "I'm not going to forgo doing something because I'm afraid." Why the hell not??? Some people talk about death like it's no big thing. Really? I'm not ready at all for that eventuality. I don't want to leave people I love or things I have yet to do. That casual perspective about it is frankly chilling to me. I'm sure I'll go out of this life kicking and screaming and fighting-the same way I came in, and roughly the same way I've lived this life so far.

I believe in a higher power, and I do believe that our souls carry on and our presence can be felt. I don't believe we are ever truly forever gone, because our memories and our energy is felt by all of those we've left behind. If you want to call that comforting, I guess for some it might be. For me, it doesn't really begin to blanket the fears.

I think for me, what I've puzzled out through the years, is that it all boils down to control. I'm a control freak. I like to have my finger on the pulse of everything going on around me. I feel panicky when things are no longer in my power. Of course, in life, that control is snatched from us again and again. Usually when it's happened to me, it's been a negative in my life. I think that has created a need, for me, to hold all my puzzle pieces close to my heart, gripped in clenched hands. The things that make me most fearful are things over which I have no control. I can't control a plane and whether it plummets to my end, and I can't control when or how I'm going to die, or lose a loved one.

While I was in the shower yesterday, the "death thoughts" started again. I was missing my Granny and thinking about my time. That led me to panicking about my girls time. I remember when I was little, I used to almost wish that I was never born; so that I didn't have to die. I was washing my hair and starting to get the flutter in my chest and the tightness in my throat. It truly triggers an actual physical reaction.

I quickly stopped myself and went to my happy place. I started listing all of the good things coming up in the next months and things that I'm looking forward to doing or seeing. I felt my pulse slow and my breathing return to it's regular cadence.

Geesh, speaking of unnecessary risky activities! I'm going to CAUSE a heart attack by trying not to obsess over dying!!! Now, after writing this, it's opened up Pandora's box of thoughts once again.

Happy I come!

Thursday, March 18, 2010

Gotta Have A March Break Post

We're nearing the end of March Break and I thought I'd share some of the highlights.

On Monday, we attended a birthday party at an indoor skating rink. The girls had a blast, and it was a great idea. It was for two siblings, who chose to share their birthdays. Instead of gifts, they asked for monetary or food donations for the Food Bank. Everyone got to skate and then have some treats. When we got home, the neighbours all decided to keep the festivities and food sharing going, so we all did a street barbecue. Everyone pitched in various items and we sat outside enjoying the sun and each other. Later, after the begging and pleading of the kids, my neighbour had my daughter over for a sleepover.

Tuesday was just the girls and I as my husband had to head in to work. Boo! Hiss!! We spent the day going in and out of the house, playing both in and out. In the afternoon, both girls were invited to play over at various friends houses, and off they went. We decided to grill yet again. Why not? The weather was absolutely astounding.

Another sunny day dawned on Wednesday and both girls had made plans earlier in the week. They headed off to a friends house for the morning and lunch. The girls are siblings and are friends with my girls. I picked them up after lunch, only to escort my youngest to another playdate and dinner at a friends. We were dressed all in our green for St. Patrick's day, the food was made, but we decided to forgo eating it so that my youngest could partake.

Today, the sun is shining again, and yet snow is back on the forecast. So far this morning, my youngest has learned to ride her two wheeler sans training wheels and my eldest has secured a friend to come over to work on a project. We're going to a free movie, Planet 51, this afternoon. All of the neighbours are going, and then we' guessed outside all together. I'll be picking up some burgers and hotdogs I guess! I'll throw together a salad too. My daughter's friend will join us and we'll take her home around 9pm. Hopefully they'll get a lot of their project done too!

I'm back to work tomorrow, but my husband and daughters will enjoy the day together. Coming up this weekend is "Puppy's first bath!" THAT should be interesting!

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Erin Go Bragh!!

Happy St. Patty's day to all you Irish blooded peeps, and all of those Irish for the day!

St. Patrick's day is a big deal in my family. We've always gathered with family to share Irish stew, corned beef, cabbage, Irish soda bread and Colcannon. Since we live far away, it's just us this year.

We woke up this morning and all donned our green, the girls adding shamrock bobble headbands. We're playing Celtic Thunder and Celtic Women and dancing a few jigs around the house.

I've got the stew in the crockpot and the bread in the oven, and I'm raring to go.

However, there are two minor problems this year. Well, on top of the fact that it's just us. My youngest was invited to a playdate that includes dinner. Oh ya, and I'm on that cleanse. What the???

So, we're alternating some plans from our norm. We're having our dinner tomorrow night and I'm going to have some and just get back on the wagon the next day.

I think that's in true Irish ingenuity and fighting spirit, no?


Saturday, March 13, 2010

Puppy Days

We have a new member of our little family, her name is Darby. She's a mini goldendoodle and totally adorable.

As the completely rookie dog owners that we are, we are exhausted. We've stayed consistent to a routine and it seems to be working. It really is like having a new baby though! My husband lets the dog out at 11pm, and then I get up with her at 630am. You heard that right-she's sleeping through the night!! WOOHOO. Now, tonight is daylight savings time so that'll probably screw it all up. Knock on wood. She hasn't had a urine accident in the house at all. Poop, well that's more my fault than hers. I wasn't aware of the "signs" of that need. I'm getting better and so is she.

I find though that I'm the same way with my dog as I was with my kids. That means, stuck by her side. We put her in her crate all night, and I try to put her in off and on during the day. But I haven't really left the house for any period of time with her in the crate. I know, pathetic.

Next week is March Break and we have some plans so I guess I'll have to get used to doing that pretty darn quick. My fear is having her upset, or creating some sort of life long trauma that turns her into a nightmare. The last thing I want is to have a dog that we are stressed about all of the time. The idea was to enjoy a pet and the responsibilities it brings.

So, I have to bite the bullet. I'll have to crate her.

Other than worrying about how much she is eating, how much she is pooping, and good training techniques.....we are enjoying her. She's a total mushball and very affectionate. She stays by our side and loves to snuggle. She wants to be with us everywhere we go.

I know these days are going to go fast, and I know they are laying the groundwork for the days to come. That makes it all worth it.

Thursday, March 11, 2010

Day 3 Of The Cleanse

So, I'm on the third day of the cleanse I started. (I blogged about it last week) How is it going you ask? (I know you did!) Let me tell you!

On Day 1, it took some time to get my stuff together and figure out what I was eating and drinking and when. The meals themselves aren't that far off from anything I eat now really, so it's not that much of a strain and I don't feel deprived. The only thing is the no carbs but I load up on veggies. If I'm still hungry, I just have more. The cleanse says the veggies are unlimited (except for a few exceptions) so that's always a plus.

I also had a monster headache but surprisingly, by yesterday (Day 2) it was gone. I was instructed to go to bed by 10pm so that I would get 8 hours of sleep. For me, I figured, this would be tough. Well, crazy as it sounds, I was in bed by 930pm the first night and 10pm last night.

I've been doing the walking, swinging my arms and other than forgetting to take my second dose of flax, been following the program to a T.

I could handle not having to drink the psyllum husks (gross) or eating so much flax, but other than that, this is totally do able. Of course, I'm 3 days in. You might want to ask me in another 10 days.

On top of the cleanse, I'm trying to train a puppy and figure out a schedule for her and my family, as well as the daycare. It's a balancing act and I feel a little stressed at times.

The "going to bed early" and blissfully zoning out seems to be helping to remedy that stress. Now I can finally understand those individuals that use sleep to tune out the world.


Monday, March 8, 2010

Two Words

NEW PUPPY!!!!!!!

We interrupt this previously scheduled broadcasting for a new dog. Updates to come.

Saturday, March 6, 2010

Karma Bus

I'm going to say something that will shock and awe you all.

I don't believe in Karma. (now waiting for lightning to strike me)

I do believe that being kind and putting positivity out in the world is a good way to live. I think we should all strive to be better people, and I truly believe each one of us can make a difference in someone else's life, small or big.

Do I believe that because we do so, and because we're kind and good, we'll get kind and good things thrown back our way? No.

I've lived enough life to know that, you know what, sometimes bad people do bad things their entire existence and nothing "bad" comes back to make them "get theirs." Sorry "Secret" believers, but it's true. There are people who abuse children who never have to pay for their crimes and who continue blissfully along. There are murderers who get away with their crimes uncaught in their lifetime. On a less heinous note, there are just mean people who do mean things every day, and they never face retribution. That's sad, but true.

I'd love to believe that for every bad deed some Karma Bus would come and strike down the offender, but I'd be waiting forever for that event to happen. Trust me when I say, I've been waiting.

By the same token, there are individuals that do incredibly wonderful acts of kindness and never get the recognition and kudos they deserve. Obviously, these individuals aren't generous and kind in order to get something, which just makes them all the more incredible. But, if Karma truly existed, then all things butterflies and hearts and rainbows would surround random acts of kindness. For every cruel, mean, heartless act imposed by a dark soul, strife and pain would visit their door.

Sorry folks, just doesn't happen.

Karma would be truly awesome if it existed in the world. Instead, we just have to make our way with our own positivity and kindness intact. We do our best on our journey, and we let the injustices that are inflicted roll off of our backs. We do so not with hope for payback for the offender, but with the hope that we can be the bigger person and can learn from the pain and move forward stronger and more whole than we were before.

If a little retribution hits the offenders in the ass at some point, all the better. I won't hold my breath though.

Friday, March 5, 2010

My Thursday Evening Of Fun

Where do I start on my glamorous tale of the fun and excitement that made up my evening yesterday?

My husband, though back from his trip, had to work late. That means he wasn't home for dinner or for the evening routine of homework and bedtime and all of that good stuff. That's not really a huge deal, I'm used to it in our many years together, but last night in particular.....well, it would have been nice to have an extra hand.

It started off pretty well. I made dinner and was enjoying a glass of wine (before the detox starts!) My girls and I sat down at the table to eat, when my youngest said she just didn't feel great. I told her to go and lie down on the couch for a bit and see if that helps. Ya, not so much. She ended up throwing up all over herself, the couch and the floor. Good times! After I cleaned all of that up and changed her and got her settled in my bed with a bowl, I turned my attentions to my eldest daughter. She had a project due today, including a Bristol board to complete. In a disastrous turn of events, she had left her info at school. Ugh. She was working steadily at putting new information together and had almost completed the Bristol board.

After a few more times vomiting, I got my youngest to sleep. It was then that I noticed the time and the fact that my eldest was getting past her bedtime. I asked her what she had left to complete, and assured her I'd type it up for her and stick it to the board. I'm a glutton for punishment apparently.

My husband arrived home as I was watching Private Practice, while intermittently cleaning up vomit and wiping my daughters face. When my kids are sick, they get to sleep in with me and my husband gets relegated to their beds. It's just easier than the whole house being awakened over and over again. However, I still had to do my Grade 5 homework. I asked my husband to sit with my daughter while I went and worked (at 11pm) on the last piece of my daughters project.

I heard a few more vomits as I typed and printed away. Finally, at 1140pm, I glued the last paper to her board and trudged back up to bed.

It was a restless night of wake and sleep and vomit and worry, and morning came way too fast.

My eldest went off to school, project complete and looking great. She really had done most of it, except for the last piece.

My youngest is home and seems better, especially with a little Gravol in her stomach. She's still not eating and she's still making trips to the bathroom, but at least it's not the constant worry of surprise attacks!

As for me? I'm doing laundry, disinfecting bathrooms, changing beds and generally just dragging myself through the day.

Thank Goodness it's Friday. Fingers crossed the rest of us remain well and sleep doesn't allude me tonight!

Thursday, March 4, 2010

Got The Book, Now To Start The Plan!

My friend Julie told me about a diet and exercise plan she'd been on, and which she had seen terrific results. I'm not really a fad diet type of gal, but after reading online about this one, and asking my friend her thoughts, it seemed a health based concept, not just a weight loss one. Hence, not a "fad" diet at all.

It starts off a little scary, though the loss of inches and weight sound downright amazing! The first two weeks are a cleanse of sorts, or a detox for the liver. You have to cut A LOT of things out and drink some kind of funky stuff too, but the goal is to cleanse and rest and get you ready for how you should really be eating for life. You can continue it for up to a month, but the author says it would get boring fast, and Phase 2 is to continue on your new path. You continue to lose weight and inches if that's your goal as well.

Some of the premises include keeping a journal, walking 20 minutes a day with your arms swinging but not too quickly, rebounding for 5 minutes on a mini trampoline and sleeping 8 hours a night. That doesn't sound too "out there" right? Just pretty healthy, normal activity.

The first Phase has you eliminating caffeine, sugar, breads, pasta and grains. Oh, and alcohol. You add in warm water with lemon every morning, some cranberry juice "long life" shots and a whole lot of flaxseed oil and psyllium fiber. This is to, ahem, get things moving. I said it's a cleanse, dudes!

After the two weeks though, you reintroduce some foods, one to two things a week at a time. The idea is that you can see how you react, and journal which foods seem to not really work for your body. I've been having horrific heartburn for awhile now, really since the birth of my second daughter. That heartburn has grown increasingly painful, and I need to figure out what's triggering that for me. My family also have some food sensitivities, so I'd like to see which foods factor for me and eliminate,or at least control consumption. I have a feeling dairy will be a culprit, which doesn't really bother me too much because I don't really eat any as something I like or crave. (I know, I know. My calcium intake is a worry! Multivitamin and calcium supplement. No worries! Also, there is calcium in leafy greens like kale and bok choy which I LOVE)

So, right now I'm just reading the book, which I got today. I'm hoping to get the supplies I need over the weekend and maybe give this plan a go starting next Tuesday-ish. It'll depend on if this 'ol smalltown even carries some of these "frou-frou" health products.

If you are interested in more info or would like to try it out, the name of the book is "The Fat Flush Plan" by Ann Louise Gittleman. You can also search the community boards at:

Fat, Be Flushed!

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Thoughts A Mother Ain't Supposed To Have

Last night, I had the house all to myself. I know, crazy talk. My husband was away over night and my kids were out at their activity. I had two blissful hours to sip white wine and surf the net. You can see where I'm going with this though. The guilt set in that I was having these bliss filled thoughts.

I struggle with maternal guilt. What mom doesn't, right? At least, I used to think all Moms did. It turns out, there's a whole secret society of Moms that are loud and proud about the fact that they relish time away from their kids. What the???

I've always imagined it was bad karma or something to be happy to have time alone. I have girlfriends who say things like,"Thank Goodness the kids got invited to a sleepover" while I shudder with bad feelings about that kind of talk. I think maybe some Celtic superstition has travelled the generations through my blood, and it works overtime in me now.

Last night, I was happy for a little break. I knew that they'd be home and cranky from a late night and being out of their normal bedtime routine. I knew the next hour before their slumber wouldn't be pleasant. So, for those two hours, I just wanted to repose and prepare. Since I was on my own, I knew I'd need extra reserves!

Yet, I felt guilty for those thoughts.

I'm the Mom who doesn't have date nights. In fact, I only trust a handful of people to watch my kids, and most of them live in my hometown. You do the math on the last time my husband and I had a "night out" with that little inconvenience. I'm the Mom that, though a FREE TRIP is offered to me, thinks about the fact that if my husband and I BOTH go, and something happens, my kids will lose both parents as opposed to one. I know, I'm morbid.

I complain about never having time to myself or never having "grown up time" with my husband, but the guilt eats me alive every time that I do or that I have those desires. I know both of those things are needed, and everyone needs to recharge and have some respite, but I'm not being at all facetious when I tell you that-I feel like a "Good Mom" shouldn't wish her kids away. Even for one minute.

I have issues, clearly. I'm going to have to start with baby steps to start carving out that time, and not thinking about the Karma bus.

Maybe next week.

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Too Tired To Type

I've had a few restless and generally sleepless nights lately, so I'm frankly too tired today to really write anything substantial. Therefore, you get the delight of reading some bullet thoughts that are currently in my wee noggin'.

-Tired. So tired. Man I'm tired. Geeze. I need a nap.

-Kate Gosselin on DWTS? Seriously? When can we get away from this woman once and for all?

-It's sunny and beautiful out today. Yet, I'm too tired to do anything about those two adjectives. Maybe I'll sit in front of a window?

-The Bachelor was beyond horrible. I keep saying I'm finished with this show, and yet I can't turn away from the trainwreck.

-More running around to do tonight and tomorrow night. Thursday can't come fast enough.

-I have a million "To Do's" and no "Get up and go's".

-I need something to read, then I could sleep.

-Is this day over yet?

Monday, March 1, 2010

Olympic Fever

Well, the final curtain was drawn last night on the 2010 Olympics in Vancouver. I have literally watched day in and day out. I've left sleep to the weary and stayed up waaaay past my bedtime to see Canadians win medals and watched with tears as they stood on the podium.

The fact that this Olympics was in Canada seemed to make it all that more compelling. I usually watch the Olympics-but I usually cherry pick which events I'll watch or not. This year, I watched almost everything I could. I watched curling and bobsledding, skeleton and luge. I watched figure skating, snowboarding and skiing. I watched every type of speed skating imaginable. On top of which, I watched the news coverage and the entertainment coverage. To say I was a tad obsessed may be putting it mildly.

My fervour was encouraged by my neighbour who was also strategically placed on her couch. We'd text each other with curses or cheers. We'd check in to make sure the other was watching. One Saturday, we got our girls together in our jammies, had muffins and coffee and proceeded to spend the day, literally, watching Olympics while our kids alternately played and also watched. We got together for dinners dressed in our red shirts with Canada flag tattoos on our cheeks. We sent "Canadian love" through the television screen with our loud, high pitched screams.

Last night, my neighbour invited a bunch of us over for dinner and to watch the hockey game against the US. We wore our red, we all brought a portion of the meal, and we all sat cheering and cringing around her TV. The celebration at the end probably got a few noise complaints from surrounding neighbours.

Afterwards, when my kids were bathed and tucked in bed, I sat and watched the Closing Ceremonies with tears in my eyes. These games were so heart wrenching, so inspiring and with so many incredible stories, it's hard to turn it all off now that it's done.

In my own way, I felt I had won Gold too. A Gold for living the Canadian Olympic spirit, for living vicariously through the athletes, for being embarrassingly proud to be Canadian and for making Olympic watching an at home couch surfing event!