Thursday, May 17, 2012
Loyalty and Clothing
I had this interesting thought the other day, all about my clothes and how in a bizarre way that reflects who I am as a person. No, I wasn't high. My brain is just full of random, weird thoughts and you get the privilege of peeking inside.
Basically, I was perusing my (tiny) wardrobe and realized much of my clothing is from a bazillion years ago. I get a few new items per year, obviously, but in general, unless something is horribly outdated or worn down to unwearable, it's still in my closet.
When I pick something I really, really like....I will wear it and love it and cherish it forever. It's sort of a comfort item, I guess. I just don't see why I'd get rid of it or replace it, if there's no need. I like holding on to what I have and I honestly feel most like "me" when I'm wearing some old standbys. If I go to an event and have to dress up in something all new and shiny, I spend the night tugging and pulling and adjusting. In my old hoodie and jeans though? I'm totally relaxed and just "me."
I realized, that's kind of how I am with friendships, too.
I'm someone who has a large social network. I like meeting new people, I like expanding my circles, I like being introduced to new things. I also, however, am still friends with the same people as when I was 5 years old and up. My best friends date back 25 years. In fact, I still talk to and maintain friendly relationships with most of my exes as well. If someone badly hurts me, don't get me wrong, I can let them go. I'm not a fan of toxicity or drama. In general though, if I decide you are worth a friendship, you can pretty much guarantee I'll be your friend for life and I'll be there in a pinch. I won't let you down, and I will treat you as best I can. I've even been in long term relationships for the last 21 years of my life! I clearly don't have a need to "look elsewhere" for gratification and don't get bored with what I know-much like I don't constantly discard or replace loved items in my wardrobe.
Similar to my clothing, I don't like letting people go from my life. It feels alien to me to not have someone around anymore-even if the relationship was just casual, like an acquaintance. I'm most comfortable, and most "me" when I'm surrounded by long standing friends with a shared history.
I'm not comparing my friends to grungy hoodies-they are obviously way more awesome than that. They are however, comfortable, soft, and embracing.
Whether it be clothes, apparently, or friendships-one thing I am is loyal. My clothes may literally cover my back, but believe me when I say, if you're in my circle, I've got yours.