Thursday, August 25, 2011

Carrie Diaries And Psychoanalysis

I'm reading my nieces' books by Candace Bushnell called, "The Carrie Diaries" that are set BEFORE the Sex and the City series. As a fan of the show, it's interesting to see where these characters started from as late teens and up, and of course the growth as they became the familiar people on screen.

Many people often ask, "Which one of the four women are YOU?" There are even quizzes online to determine that very thing! While I think my friends and I all lean to certain individual characters more than others, I also feel like all women are a little part of each of them. For example, I tend to relate to Carrie the most and it's the result I get in those quizzes. However, I'm not into fashion and I don't dress kind of kooky. I'm like Miranda in that I'm a cynic and sarcastic, and not at all sentimental about love or relationships-until I had my children. I'm like Charlotte in that I'm big into manners, etiquette and trying to do the "right" thing. Samantha? Well, I'm least like her but I've had my moments.

The books are interesting because it shows the characters as very young people, and what they were like before they were the women we all came to know and love. If I look at them as described back in the day, it makes it even more clear which one I am more like, and which least.

I think the four women all express little parts that encompass the many dizzying aspects that make us women and our struggles with love and friendship and relationships, careers and family.

I have certainly changed from the teen I was with the many ideals and dreams, to the anxious first time Mom who also ran a busy daycare to the woman I am today. I've believed in things that weren't true, I've believed in people I shouldn't, I've been hurt and I've been happy. I'm finally at a point in my life where I feel like I'm comfortable and at peace with it and with myself-no matter which direction this mad storyline travels. I'm not angry or trying to prove anything anymore, I'm not harbouring resentment or fear. I've always hated game playing, and now I'll specifically remove myself from any drama that others try to create in situations where there truly isn't any. I don't want to have to fight and struggle and I wish the same for those around me. Situations that used to draw me into the fray guns a blazin' now have me walking away whistling. I'm a more open, tolerant, gal these days-with a side of feisty that will never leave me completely, of course.

I know that life always throws you curve balls when you're the most complacent, so I don't rest blissfully unaware, but if my life were a series of books and my character was riding the arc of the plot line, I'd be somewhere near the 3/4 mark in terms of finding myself and my place. It's a good place to be.

I don't believe in Happy Endings, but I do believe in creating my own Happy Enough.

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