I always have WAY too much jingle jangling up in my head. I've been this way since birth, and honestly, it's like I can never just "shut 'er down" and meditate in the silence. There IS no silence in this noggin. Consequently, I get anxiety a lot, because I worry non-stop about a ton of "stuff." Some days I'd like to be that chill person who doesn't stress, but then other times I think people like that live in denial about reality.
I was going over my blog the other night, re-reading from the very beginning. Lo and behold, I come across a post from 2009 where I'm contemplating the VERY SAME topics as I'm struggling with right now! You know, the "what the hell am I doing with my life or want to do" question. Well, that was a buzz kill. Apparently I've made no progress on this front in FOUR years. That's....encouraging. I start to get a plan in action, but then something happens to blow it out of the water. I know, Universe telling me something, maybe?
I just started watching the series, "Mad Men" since I've heard so many rave reviews from friends and on social media. Drinking and driving, infidelity and smoking aside, dang it! I'd kill as a 50's housewife! At least if you stayed home with your children then, no one kept asking what you'd like to do next! Running your home and raising your children WELL was important, expected, and maybe not respected as such, but, at least there wasn't this pressure to be more or do more.
I read a blog this morning talking about how nowadays, you can't just be a Mom, you have to be a MILF. You can't just "stay home," you have to have a perfect home, kids in every activity, volunteer, have a side gig etc. Totally. Agree.
Do we put this stress on ourselves, is it imposed by society, or other women? Where does this come from? It's a mystery.
According to my blog, however, it's a theme that I'm continually circling. Let's hope this is my year, finally, to put it to rest.
I see this too in my own blog posts. I follow this trend of thought patterns. I think it is good in a way, because over al ong period of time, it can help us see who we are in a given season, during stressful times, or when things are going well. I like seeing those patterns, I think it points me to who i really am, and helps me understand how to combat the times when I don't feel as good about myself, or struggle with certain things. Continual improvement, incremental, baby steps etc.
ReplyDeleteI think sometimes, all the pressure we put on ourselves is by society saying we "have" to do all this stuff to be perfect. Ergo perfect Pinterest birthday parties, decorated homes and elegant dinners. Riiiight... If my floors get swept once a week, we are on aroll!
Been meaning to comment on this for a bit, but unfortunately, I can't comment from my tablet (blogger doesn't like mobile yet) and it is blocked at work. However, I am able to get on today so here we go! :)