Thursday, July 9, 2009

Watching Trainwrecks

I'm a total buzz kill lately and I'm sorry to unload this on you yet again, but it seems lately like all around me, everything and everyone is a train wreck either happening or waiting to happen.

Firstly, my Dad. Sigh. He was just about to "turn a corner" and we were feeling pretty good about how his health was going and that he was coming along. He was talking again, they had taken him off of the ventilator, he was doing physio, and they were talking about getting him on "real" food again. Well, that all changed the other night. He stopped breathing. They found that he has pneumonia in both lungs. This is the same pneumonia, likely, that he's had since the very beginning and just never really got rid of completely. The fact that he's been a smoker for the past oh, 60 years or so, probably doesn't help his situation. So, he's back to the CCU and back to treating the pneumonia and back all the amazing steps he had taken forward. Honestly, it's more than a train wreck. It's a constant daily roller coaster of good days and bad days. He's getting better, he's dying. You can't prepare yourself emotionally for the inevitability of something happening, because its constantly changing status. Not that you can ever really prepare for that eventuality anyways though.

Then, I'm watching marriages all around me implode on themselves. It's a very strange reality to see two people that lived together a week ago now refusing to communicate in any capacity except through their lawyers. I think it's the most bizarre dance of anger and sadness mixed with a hefty dose of being too darn stubborn. I don't know if it's around our age, or our length of marriage time, but couples are falling like flies on a fly zapper.I guess the reality is, they didn't know how to communicate while IN the marriages, why expect them to know how NOW when they are out? Or even have the will to want to try. I just think when there are children involved you need to set your differences and your petty arguments aside and just deal. It might be painful and most definitely annoying, but them's the brakes. You married this person, had children with them, spent years with them and now it isn't working and you want out. Fair enough. But you should be able to shelve the issues for a few moments to make your child's already shaken world a little more steady. I know, easier said than done and what the heck do I know.

I'm watching passing trains collide and burst into flames, while desperately trying to slow down another train's final trip before it gets to the station. Sometimes in life, it's best to put on the brakes a little and take the scenic route when you can.

1 comment:

  1. I think it's our age....our parents are getting older...we've all be married for a pretty long time...and things start to fall apart. We've experienced many of the same things here...and others seem like ticking time bombs, to be very honest. You just have to wonder what in the world is going on.'

    All that aside, I'll hold your dad and your family in my prayers. I know how rough the not knowing can be.