Let Me Entertain You....Or Not

                                                         (image from kitestring.ca)

Do you like to entertain and have your friends over on a regular basis? Is your home known as "party headquarters?"  Are your friends so comfortable in your home that they know where you keep that special "doohickey thing" in that particular kitchen drawer?

I love to socialize. In fact, I'm someone who could be "out and about" most nights of the week, as long as I'm home a day or two. I'm happiest when I'm surrounded by friends and hate to miss out on any social function if I can help it.

That said, I'm a hot mess when it comes to entertaining myself.

I envy my friends who just "throw something together" and in the moment are cool as cucumbers. They don't stress it, everything flows seamlessly and the whole evening is just relaxing for all in attendance.

Me? Not so much.

Let me preface this by saying, I'm a perfectionist. I'm also very self-critical, and a worrier. BINGO! Not usually a recipe for a laid-back, casual affair!

For me to entertain my friends, even if it's just hanging out, is a major production. MA-JOR! My house needs to be spotless, so I spend days getting it just so. The food needs to be delicious and turn out perfectly. I can usually spend most of the time in the kitchen, sweating and frantic, so that everything is "right."  I worry about every minute detail and generally give myself heart palpitations. All in all, once everyone is gone, I pop some Tums and try to decompress.

Can you guess why I'd rather go out, go elsewhere, do anything?

My husband always makes fun of me when we have friends in for just these reasons. He'll joke that I can't serve "one" snack, I have to have ten. He'll tease me about scurrying about and admonish me to "just sit down!"  He always reiterates that my friends wouldn't care-they just wanna hang.

This is all true enough.

The fact of the matter is, when I go to my friends' houses, I don't notice the cleanliness. I don't care that everything is perfect, I don't even really care what we eat. I just want to see my friends and chillax. But for myself, it's a whole different ballgame.  Hosting, therefore, isn't enjoyable for me. It's not a "fun" evening. It's one that makes me superdedooper anxious.

I guess everyone has their thing, right? Their own special neurosis?  Whether they worry about their health or  are anxious about spiders...whatever the case may be....mine is having to be Martha Stewart apparently.

So, if you don't know my house inside and out or if you wonder why I'd always prefer to come to you, it's not because I'm a cheapskate or lazy. It's the complete opposite. I'd go so overboard and be such a rattled mess, trust me, no one would WANT to come here. When I say your place would be a better idea, it really, really would be!

I'm going to try working on this though, because as I said, I love having people around. Like everything in my life, it's going to be baby steps.

Excuse me, do you have any Grey Poupon?