Grand Re-Opening!

Well, I've decided to open up the home daycare again. It's more by necessity than anything else, but really, I think it will be a good thing.

In the current economy, the bonuses that we count on from my husbands' job, have been cut. That's a big chunk missing-and one we usually use to pay down credit cards or to have extra for projects around the house. Those being gone, at least for now, means I need to pick up the slack. I've tried to think of a hundred things I could do, but it all boils back down to being available for my girls, which is the whole reason I'm at home in the first place. Like today for example. My youngest is home with a mysterious fever (I blame the big 6 year old molars I see emerging from her back gums!)and luckily I can BE home.

So, I've retyped and revamped my contract. I've put out some feelers to neighbours and friends to spread the word or keep their eye out for anyone asking about childcare. I've placed a few free ads. I hope I get some calls soon, and I hope I meet families that are compatible with me and my childcare philosophy.

I haven't bought any equipment or done any extra safety measures in my home yet. I'll wait until I know my clientele and what ages I need to protect. I'm hoping just to keep it small, two to three kids, plus my two of course.

I know that I'll miss what I am losing, such as going to the gym three weekday mornings a week with my husband. Or just having that time, alone, with him. We use it to talk and discuss and to plan. But I think we'll gain the sense of peace that an extra salary again will bring, plus what the extra finances will allow us to accomplish. The gym will have to be evenings and weekends I guess. And that's okay. (well, unless I start gaining weight and not working out and then I'll be upset!)

All in all, I think this will be good for me. It'll get me motivated and engaged again. I can still write in my "off" hours, it'll just force me to be more disciplined.

Now, I just need some clients!!! I hope and pray for some good news and a positive group-soon!
Wish me luck!

MILK AND MUSIC

So, on my quest to watch the Oscar nominated movies, I watched another last night. I've commented on Slumdog (loved it) and last night I watched MILK.

I think Sean Penn is a fantastic, terrific, character actor. He's believable in every role he tackles. I think he takes the roles he chooses very seriously and puts 110% into his portrayal. That being said, I didn't love MILK.

I actually fell asleep during it. Now, that could just be because I haven't slept well the last while, but I think it also has to do with the fact that I kept waiting for the "action" to start. The fact that not so long ago, and I'd even go as far as to say ongoing today, there existed such an ignorance and hatred for those that are different than the norm, is disheartening and shameful. The message that Harvey Milk stood for, in terms of equality for all people, not just homosexuals but also "Jews, Women, Blacks, Whites, Browns, Seniors and Kids" is of extreme importance today as it was yesterday. I still don't think we are there yet. That message was very powerful. His fight to ensure that right for all was very powerful. His role in that movement was significant. I'm not immune to that message nor do I not support equality for all. I just found the storyline or the dialogue lacked "something." I felt it could have been more compelling, stronger, more touching.
I'm still glad I watched it. I'm still glad I have that story in my head. I'm glad I've been imparted some useful knowledge from that film. I guess you could say I love the message, but not the film.

I've also been listening to some new tunes lately that I'm going to give a shout out about to you. I guess they aren't "new" but I'm liking them a lot and playing and replaying. So check out :

Josh Radin-He sang at Ellen and Portia's wedding. He has kind of a Jack Johnson feel. I love the song "Only You" and listen to it almost daily.

Adele-She performed at this year's American Music Awards, with Sugarland joining her. Her voice has a sultry, smoky flavour. I love her song "Chasing Pavement".

Lily Allen-Here is a girl that I can't stand on a personal level (she just seems to ooze idiocy and shoots her mouth off constantly) but her voice to me is very unique and gentle and melodic. Her new album is doing fantastic in both the UK and USA (her breakout there) and the song "The Fear" is worth a listen.

Lady Gaga-All of her songs kind of sound the same, yes. She's rude and crude, yes. But the beat on her songs is insanely danceable and catchy. I get my groove on to Lady Gaga.

And finally, can't stop playing the "All -American Rejects" song "Gives You Hell". It's kind of my anthem right now. I like listening to this while I'm working out.

Those are my reviews for this week! Check 'em out and let me know what you think!

Cooking 101

My eldest daughter is making dinner tonight. Supervised, of course.

She asked if she could make dinner one night, about a week ago. Yesterday, she poured over cookbooks and recipes and made up her menu. I had to advise her about "using what we have" and making foods that we would "all" enjoy. It took a few attempts and various ideas, but I think we have a manageable plan now. We went from a little over the top, to a little too simple (her words) to a compromise between the two.

She is starting off our meal with fruit kabobs. That will be followed by a garlic roasted chicken, cauliflower with cheese sauce and garlic bread. (guess we'll be stinky!) For dessert, she has hot chocolate planned and we have some brownies and ice cream already. She wanted to make cinnamon rolls but I thought that was a little too ambitious for the first night of "Dinner a la A..."

I will be helping as her sous chef and cleaning messes along the way, and afterwards. She's very excited though, so it should be fun. And hey, if she keeps it up, I can take a night off here and there!

SCORE!

TGIF

Well, we've come to the end of the first week home after being on vacation for March Break. And the week literally zoomed by! It feels good to be home, but I also couldn't seem to get out of "leisure mode."

I had my daycare kids two days this week, today being one of them. We had our normal Tuesday night gym class. We had two snugly nights in my bed watching "Barbie Thumbelina" and "Bolt." (I love those Barbie movies! Seriously! I think they are very well made and the message is positive. Big thumbs up to Barbie!) We had lice checks at school, and lots of outdoor playtime after school in the warm weather.

Today is report card day and then swimming lessons tonight. I cannot wait for report cards. I used to love getting my report card when I was a kid, and I still have that anticipation to read my girls' reports. Yes, again I say, I'm a nerd.

Our weekend consists of the gym and cooking classes and who knows what else. And then we are into April! And April is a very busy month with family and friend birthdays and Easter and travel. I can't believe how the time is flying! One week flies into the next and it seems like it's all a blur. A happy blur.

And it feels fantastic.

Feeling Invisible

I don't really think of myself as a vain person. I mean, I CARE what I look like and I TRY to take care of myself but I don't think I'm particularly stuck on my looks. I would say that I'm fairly confident, in most physical areas, so maybe that does translate into vanity.

I'm not, however, one of those women that gets her nails done regularly, can't leave the house without her hair perfect, has an extensive wardrobe and doesn't like to get dirty. I guess the term I'm looking for here is high maintenance.

I like the way the "gel" nails (or whatever they are!) look, but they aren't practical for me. I always ruin them. I'm constantly in water or in nicer weather, in dirt. Not good. Not good at all. I have a hard enough time just dealing with my own short nails!

But, I saw a television show last night, that made me ponder the fact that maybe I just take certain things for granted. I can't even remember what the show is called, I just caught it flipping by and paused. It was about women and their journey to feeling better about themselves. They were trying to lose weight, but it showed them discussing their feelings about being heavier or about body image in general.

There was an "older" woman there, I think she said she was in her fifties. She looked pretty darn good to me!!! She was talking about how she works out and she tries her best to stay current, but that it didn't matter anyways. That at twenty or thirty, even overweight, you are still noticed. Still part of society. She said, and it made me gulp a little, that she felt INVISIBLE. In the gym, or walking down a street, she felt she would compare herself to others. She said, "heck, I probably even look pretty alright!" but that people, and by that I think she meant men really, didn't even take notice of her. The days of being an admired being were gone.

Yikes. It made me truly feel sad and chagrined. We all like the little looks we get from the opposite sex when we are out and about in our daily lives. I don't mean lecherous, exploitative looks-but the odd little glance or smile. We don't want or need to act on them, but it's nice to feel noticed. Appreciated. Admired. How must it feel to never have that again?

I know my Mom used to always say that when she walked with my sister and I, it felt odd to her that men that at one time would have been glancing her way, were now looking at her daughters. Ya, I imagine that would be creepy. I don't really look forward to that day. She said it in a humourous way, but now I wonder if it didn't also sting a little.

The woman in the show, like I said, was fairly attractive to me. I would expect men to still be appreciative of a woman that looked good, took care of herself, obviously put some effort in. I would hope men of her age would still glance, and smile. But this woman truly felt that her time for that had passed.

And that made me not only disappointed, but mad on a few levels. Firstly, WHY do we as women care so much about what cavemen males think about us anyways??? Why do we put so much stock in THEIR opinions? Why do we base our worth on their twisted logic? And secondly, why do men of a certain age think women of a certain age are now "too old" for them??? Men seem to somehow think that them looking at a twenty-five year old is not only acceptable but desired.
C-R-E-E-P-Y.

It certainly was a lesson for me in how I hope to age and grow. I can't control what others think about me. I can't change their viewpoints on aesthetics any more than I can their stance on religion or politics. I can however control how I feel about MYSELF. The aging process isn't going to stop. Time isn't going to stand still just for me. I already see lines starting and creases deepening. I see some sunspots and obvious freckles and sun damage. I can slow it down and I can do my best to take care of myself by eating healthy, exercising, and using whatever lotions and potions I need to keep my skin fresh or hydrated. Beyond that, time is my master and I am her slave.

Internally though, I can master my own self belief and confidence. I can walk with my head held high and a smile on my lips. I can have a twinkle in my eye for that cute grocery clerk or the man that holds the door open for me. I can certainly give a wink and a nod to that strong woman I see reflected back at me in the mirror whose opinion of herself comes from the determination she's gathered from years of living and learning.

I will never allow myself to feel invisible to others, but more importantly, to myself. And heck, maybe I'll be the sassy old lady that flirts nauseatingly with the young clerk at the bank. Why not? I'd rather be "me" than a shadow of my former self. And I bet they'll flirt back.

Stirred up for Slumdog

I watched the movie "Slumdog Millionaire" last night, finally, after a ton of amazing reviews from friends and of course, the Oscar wins.

It totally held my attention and like any good movie, made me think.

There were so many different issues going on that I was trying to process and think about for hours afterwards. Of course there were the images of the extreme poverty, the child exploitation, the cruelty and heartlessness.

But there was also a beautiful, heartbreaking love story. And it turns out that I've discovered I'm a sucker for a good romantic tale.

Most of the my life I would have said, and wholly believed, that I was the least romantic person out there. I was brought up in an environment of two divorces and well, let's just say, less than fairy tale romance conditions. Looking around me, I didn't see a lot of love stories that came true. So, cynically, I grew to loathe the whole "believing in everlasting, soul mate, love." I would have said I was more realistic than that. More pragmatic.

Well, as time marches on, I've learned that not only do I love seeing that kind of human devotion played out in books and on the big screen, I seek it out! But maybe that's also because of that internal cynicism. If it doesn't exist in real life, than what better way to experience it than to immerse myself in it for a few hours at least. It's the whole "living it vicariously" that is the draw.

The love story between Jamal and Latika is a purely unconditional one. Both characters sacrifice for the other in one way or another, to ensure the other is safe or just survives. And yet, throughout their lifetimes, they continue to seek each other out and remain constant in their care and concern and love for each other. That, to me, is to truly be loved wholly. They cannot seem to be ripped apart, their feelings cannot be abased, even in horrible situations and conditions. They never "give up" on each other.

In real life, and I'm referring to cushy, easy circumstances, many marriages and love stories fall apart in a matter of days, weeks, months, years. And these are lived without really ever being tested. You just rarely hear about the "great love" that has lasted throughout eternity. And maybe that's why we are drawn to such epic tales from the beginning of time forward.

I was in tears at the end of Slumdog. It's the classic "happily ever after" ending. I was touched by the courage and conviction of Jamal's character. I was touched by the lifetime love between he and Latika. It fulfilled my "true love conquers all" inner psychological needs. And yet the cynic in me lives on.

Only in the movies.

A Day In The Life

Today I thought I'd indulge your voyeurism and give you a sneak peek into the typical Tuesday in my little world. I know, you are on the edge of your seats. It's never dull around here, even though it may look it on paper. With that heady warning, read on!

7am Wake up groggily with one or both kids either yelling in my ear, or from their room to my room. If it's a daycare kid morning (I do before/after school care some days in the month) than I'm up at 645am. If not, it's supposed to be 7, but the truth is I lie there trying to convince myself to actually lift the covers and move my legs for a good 15 mins.

715am Actually get out of the bed

From this time until it's time to go to the bus, there is a flurry of activity. I get myself ready. Well, sort of. I brush my teeth, smooth the rat's nest that is passing for my hair, and wash my face. Some days I add a little makeup. I get dressed in whatever is easily accessible and head downstairs.

Once downstairs, it's breakfast. This consists, every day it's the same thing, of a waffle and a yogurt, with apple juice to drink, for my little one. For my eldest daughter it's either cereal and fruit with orange juice to drink, or an english muffin and fruit. While they are eating (read arguing) I make their lunches. The lunch making is actually pretty robotic. My kids are all about eating the same thing day after day. So, it's pretty easy by now. I could probably do it my sleep, and some mornings it feels like I am.

I then clear off the breakfast stuff and wipe the table, load the dishwasher, turn it on if need be. The girls are sent upstairs to brush hair, wash faces and brush teeth. I try to ignore the loud water splashing and bickering over who needs the bathroom stool and who doesn't.

If it's a daycare day, I leave with the first group of kids at 8am. I then come back when they are on their bus, and get my two. When I come in, they are supposed to be getting themselves dressed in snowsuits so that we can get out there quickly. Most days, they have started but are stopped halfway because someone stepped on someone else's hat or mitts, or sometimes even an appendage. This is usually the ugliest point of the morning. Lots and lots of bickering. I'm sure my neighbours find it entertaining to see us arguing all the way up the street each day.

Once I've kissed them and sent them on the bus, I come back home to QUIET.

830am Make my breakfast (english muffin or toast or cereal) and my coffee. I plunk myself down unceremoniously in front of the computer. Ah sweet, sweet silence. I spend about an hour surfing the net, checking my emails, checking facebook, going to my survey sites to see if there are any surveys for me to do for cash, and reading and replying on the "moms" boards I've belonged to for nine years now. I then write the blog.

930am Start the days chores. This is different depending on the day, but on Tuesdays I wash the towels and the girls clothes, and clean the bathrooms.

1030am Workout. This has evolved as well. I've done 5 Factor Fitness and Pilates, my treadmill and Pilates, all three of them etc. I'm now planning (I say planning because I haven't done it yet and have just spent ten days doing no physical activity really whatsoever) to do a 5k running program and some Zumba and Bar Method DVDs. On Monday, Wednesday and Thursday mornings I go to the gym though. Then I do a weight and cardio workout there.

1130am Make myself lunch. This is either a sandwich, or what I call a "picky" lunch. I like having a bunch of small things (which actually probably add up to a BIG thing) like a pita with hummus, olives, some cheese, tomato and a fruit like a nectarine or banana. I also decide what we are having for dinner and take anything out of the freezer or prepare in advance if need be.

1230pm Usually shower and get dressed "for real" and do my hair and makeup. On Tuesdays though, I don't bother. I know, gross right? The reality is that I go to the gym on Tuesday nights to workout so I just shower when I get home from there.

130pm Finish laundry and fold and put away. Tidy up and straighten if anything amiss.

2-3pm Sit on my duff. I either read or write or just think or surf the net. I call it meditation time. And trust me, I need it.

3pm Go get daycare kids, and then get my kids, from bus.

Get home, give snacks, check bags for notes and homework. Get dinner on the way. On Tuesdays, we eat early because we go to the gym for 530pm. The kids go to a class there, and I go and workout while they are busy running and playing. The daycare kids go, and we eat.

5pm Finish tidying dinner accouterments, get the kids ready for the gym, pack waters and shoes and bag, get out the door.

645pm Get home from the gym. The girls do any homework they might have and have a snack.

715pm Baths for the girls. Brush teeth, put on creams and chapstick. (the girls, not me. I'm still a sweaty mess)

745-8pm Girls read in bed. At 8 o'clock it's lights out for my youngest(who falls asleep in half a second) while my eldest reads until 830pm.

9pm Shower for mommy

From here I read, watch some shows and surf the net one last time. (it's an issue, I know)

11pm Bed. (ish) I'm not a great sleeper so I can ostensibly lie there for a good hour to hour and half. Sometimes longer.

And there you have it. Of course, you can add in other sundry details like "make phone calls" or "pay bills," but really, who wants to know that stuff? Other days are other chores and whatever, but you know the expression "same s&$%, different pile".....well, change pile for day and it works here too.

So now, while you are reading and so anxious and curious to know what goes on in my world (cough cough) you can rest assured that you have a detailed, chronological view.

What's that expression on Jon and Kate Plus 8? "It's a crazy life, but it's OUR life"?? Well, adapted for me and mine, "It's a routine life, but it's MY life." And trust me when I say, I'm all about the routine and consistency.

Now off to finish my coffee and peruse the latest on Perez.