How old is this book? Yet, I haven't read it yet. Back in the day, I recall it being passed around and I remember many a friend offering it to me to read. I always refused because the subject matter is dark, depressing and umm, yucky. That's just not the typical type of book I read.
I was in the movie theatre with friends, though, and saw the preview for the upcoming movie. It looked really good, in a creepy but not totally gory way. Here's something about me that you should know. I don't "do" anything scary. Nothing. I don't watch movies that are creepy, scary, gory. I don't read books in that vein either. I watched The Shining at a sleepover when I was 13 and literally, I kid you not, woke up with nightmares several times a week, for THREE years. I just think I wasn't really exposed to that genre, and I never became desensitized to it. My girls are the same. I'm very strict with what they watch or are exposed to, and so when they even see people being MEAN to each other in movies or on tv, they want it turned off immediately. No Harry Potter movie fans here.
Anyways, my friend said I HAD to read the book before we see the film. She had a copy and summarily thrust it into my shaking hands. I've had it now two nights and haven't even cracked the spine. Why? I'm skeered! Do I really want to read that right before bed? Me???
I guess I'll try again tomorrow. In the daylight hours. With my Blackberry by my side, just in case.
Monday, January 11, 2010
Friday, January 8, 2010
Sickies and Weekends
Well, we're heading into a weekend filled with plans and those plans may not be coming to fruition.
My eldest daughter missed the first day back at school, with fever and a cough, holding her up. She went back the next day, but she's still pretty pale and tired looking.
My youngest daughter missed school yesterday, with just a fever. It's strange because she literally has no other symptoms. She seemed fine all day yesterday, so I sent her back today. Well, the school called around 11 to ask us to please, kindly, come get her again because she had a fever and didn't feel well. Sigh.
I totally blame the holidays and our raucous, crazy partying. HA! We WERE out late a few nights and their normally very consistently enforced bedtime flew out the window. We also slept in late, ate on the fly, and well, partied like it was 2009.
So, I'm not so sure my daughter and I will be making it to her "girls night" sleepover Saturday night. We were supposed to go Moms and Daughters to a friends, for dinner and drinks. (well, drinks for Moms) The little girls would then sleepover and the Moms would hightail it outta there!!!
On Sunday, we were supposed to head out of town to a nearby town with better shopping. The girls have gift cards to use at Old Navy (sadly, not located in my town) and I have a gift certificate for a restaurant there. We were going to make a day of it and pick up a few things for Mommy as well.
It looks like we may be having a weekend of lazing around in our jammies, renting movies and playing some Wii. Hmmm. That still sounds mighty fine to this tired, old Mom.
My eldest daughter missed the first day back at school, with fever and a cough, holding her up. She went back the next day, but she's still pretty pale and tired looking.
My youngest daughter missed school yesterday, with just a fever. It's strange because she literally has no other symptoms. She seemed fine all day yesterday, so I sent her back today. Well, the school called around 11 to ask us to please, kindly, come get her again because she had a fever and didn't feel well. Sigh.
I totally blame the holidays and our raucous, crazy partying. HA! We WERE out late a few nights and their normally very consistently enforced bedtime flew out the window. We also slept in late, ate on the fly, and well, partied like it was 2009.
So, I'm not so sure my daughter and I will be making it to her "girls night" sleepover Saturday night. We were supposed to go Moms and Daughters to a friends, for dinner and drinks. (well, drinks for Moms) The little girls would then sleepover and the Moms would hightail it outta there!!!
On Sunday, we were supposed to head out of town to a nearby town with better shopping. The girls have gift cards to use at Old Navy (sadly, not located in my town) and I have a gift certificate for a restaurant there. We were going to make a day of it and pick up a few things for Mommy as well.
It looks like we may be having a weekend of lazing around in our jammies, renting movies and playing some Wii. Hmmm. That still sounds mighty fine to this tired, old Mom.
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
You Have To Actually Get Off The Couch To Exercise
I have the 30 Day Shred DVD and I've had the intention of using it, every second day, with running on my treadmill coming in on the alternate days. I'm also trying to figure out a way to add in some yoga. For me, yoga shouldn't really be just an elective choice. I'm a worrying type of gal, so much so that even as a child my worrying caused sleep issues. I'm also not much of a sleeper, and figure it could help me out in that domain as well. The problem is where to fit it in.
I mean, where to fit it ALL in. I'm not much of a morning person. Why, you ask? Well, the answer to that is probably due to the fact that I only sleep about 5-6 hours a night. If I have someone waiting on me or a workout partner depending on me (Hi Julie!) then I'll make myself get up and go. Otherwise, early morning just ain't happening.
I tell myself, then, that I'll do the workout during nap time. However, that doesn't really work out because A) I don't want to be a sweaty mess when the parents come to pick up their child, and 2) I'm a worrier and I can't hear what's happening in the house when I'm on my treadmill.
That leaves evenings. Well, three evenings a week my children have activities that pretty much consume the whole evening. We eat dinner and we're out the door. We get back in time for their baths and bedtime. I guess I "could" ostensibly do a workout then, but do I really feel like running at like nine o'clock at night? Hell, no. The other days, even without the activities, by the time dinner is finished and tidied and baths and bed are accomplished, hello, nine o'clock again.
So, while I have great intentions and I have the equipment I need, I can't seem to find a good time to actually use it. Trust me when I say, I NEED to use it.
I think, honestly, morning is going to be the only time that makes any sense. Now that I've written that down in print, it seems like a decision. Ugh. Then again, maybe if I have to get up early, it'll creep into other areas in positive ways, like forcing me to go to sleep earlier as well? I can then do the yoga during nap. It doesn't make me sweaty and would be a nice stretch in the middle of the day.
Now, let's just see what happens at the crack of dawn tomorrow, when the world is quiet and dark and the air is frigid. Maybe I'll learn to love that time alone. Or not.
As an aside-made the tabbouleh and falafels last night. My family already like tabbouleh (well, my husband and I anyways. My eldest daughter will eat some but youngest didn't like it.) The falafels? I thought were good. I'd make them again. My husband actually liked them as well and had seconds. Both of my daughters tried them but they were a no go, even with tzaziki! The one thing with the baking though-the falafels don't get the crispy outside you would expect with a falafel. I put them under the broiler for a bit to get a bit of crispiness. They are softer and a different texture then the fried, but I like them and had them again for lunch today. I made them into a patty like shape, as opposed to balls.
I mean, where to fit it ALL in. I'm not much of a morning person. Why, you ask? Well, the answer to that is probably due to the fact that I only sleep about 5-6 hours a night. If I have someone waiting on me or a workout partner depending on me (Hi Julie!) then I'll make myself get up and go. Otherwise, early morning just ain't happening.
I tell myself, then, that I'll do the workout during nap time. However, that doesn't really work out because A) I don't want to be a sweaty mess when the parents come to pick up their child, and 2) I'm a worrier and I can't hear what's happening in the house when I'm on my treadmill.
That leaves evenings. Well, three evenings a week my children have activities that pretty much consume the whole evening. We eat dinner and we're out the door. We get back in time for their baths and bedtime. I guess I "could" ostensibly do a workout then, but do I really feel like running at like nine o'clock at night? Hell, no. The other days, even without the activities, by the time dinner is finished and tidied and baths and bed are accomplished, hello, nine o'clock again.
So, while I have great intentions and I have the equipment I need, I can't seem to find a good time to actually use it. Trust me when I say, I NEED to use it.
I think, honestly, morning is going to be the only time that makes any sense. Now that I've written that down in print, it seems like a decision. Ugh. Then again, maybe if I have to get up early, it'll creep into other areas in positive ways, like forcing me to go to sleep earlier as well? I can then do the yoga during nap. It doesn't make me sweaty and would be a nice stretch in the middle of the day.
Now, let's just see what happens at the crack of dawn tomorrow, when the world is quiet and dark and the air is frigid. Maybe I'll learn to love that time alone. Or not.
As an aside-made the tabbouleh and falafels last night. My family already like tabbouleh (well, my husband and I anyways. My eldest daughter will eat some but youngest didn't like it.) The falafels? I thought were good. I'd make them again. My husband actually liked them as well and had seconds. Both of my daughters tried them but they were a no go, even with tzaziki! The one thing with the baking though-the falafels don't get the crispy outside you would expect with a falafel. I put them under the broiler for a bit to get a bit of crispiness. They are softer and a different texture then the fried, but I like them and had them again for lunch today. I made them into a patty like shape, as opposed to balls.
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
Greens And Beans
So, in my ever present battle to be "more healthy," I've decided that my family should try and eat more vegetarian fare. I'm aiming for once a week at this point, and then upping it to twice once the dust has settled and the crying subsided.
Here's the problem. It's hard to eat vegetarian when only one person in the group will eat beans of any sort, lentils, couscous, bulgur or quinoa. Who is that one person? I'll give you one guess.
Every recipe that sounds and looks delicious either contains some soy or tofu product that I KNOW my family will turn their noses up at, or contains one of the aforementioned list of "no go's."
To me, everything sounds delicious. However, I was raised by a mother that served us tofu regularly. Heck, the woman made carob popsicles! Couscous was a staple in my household, and lentil soup? To. Die. For.
I'd like my kids to feel the same way about some of those foods (not the carob popsicles. Those were NOT my Mom's best idea) and in that line of thinking, I'm introducing new things a little at a time and telling them they need to give it a shot. The good news is, my kids are good at trying foods. They aren't the scream and yell and cry types. (Thank Goodness). They actually are kind of strange in that they don't really like "kid" foods anyways. They won't eat things like pizza, or macaroni and cheese or pogos or even grilled cheese sandwiches. Yet, if you give them salmon or curried chicken, or lamb with tzaziki, they are in heaven. It's good to know my Mom's influence lives on in some ways.
So, tonight. Tonight I'm making a "mostly" vegetarian meal. Yes, I'll have some steamed veggies and some roast chicken too. The main course though is going to be a big Tabbouleh salad, and baked Falafels. The falafels will be served with tzakiki. I'm tricky huh? A little side of tzaziki may make everything A-OK.
I'll let you know how it goes and who ate what. I'll let you know if my husband cried. I'll let you know if "I" triumphed.
The battle for beans and greens. It's not going to be pretty.
If you'd like to make some yourself, here's the recipes I'm using:
Falafel: http://chowvegan.com/2009/01/06/baked-falafel/
And Tabbouleh: http://chowvegan.com/2009/01/06/baked-falafel/ For the tabbouleh (which I actually make quite often, I also tend to use couscous instead of the bulgur. Also, I add cilantro instead of mint.)
Play with your food, and Enjoy!
Here's the problem. It's hard to eat vegetarian when only one person in the group will eat beans of any sort, lentils, couscous, bulgur or quinoa. Who is that one person? I'll give you one guess.
Every recipe that sounds and looks delicious either contains some soy or tofu product that I KNOW my family will turn their noses up at, or contains one of the aforementioned list of "no go's."
To me, everything sounds delicious. However, I was raised by a mother that served us tofu regularly. Heck, the woman made carob popsicles! Couscous was a staple in my household, and lentil soup? To. Die. For.
I'd like my kids to feel the same way about some of those foods (not the carob popsicles. Those were NOT my Mom's best idea) and in that line of thinking, I'm introducing new things a little at a time and telling them they need to give it a shot. The good news is, my kids are good at trying foods. They aren't the scream and yell and cry types. (Thank Goodness). They actually are kind of strange in that they don't really like "kid" foods anyways. They won't eat things like pizza, or macaroni and cheese or pogos or even grilled cheese sandwiches. Yet, if you give them salmon or curried chicken, or lamb with tzaziki, they are in heaven. It's good to know my Mom's influence lives on in some ways.
So, tonight. Tonight I'm making a "mostly" vegetarian meal. Yes, I'll have some steamed veggies and some roast chicken too. The main course though is going to be a big Tabbouleh salad, and baked Falafels. The falafels will be served with tzakiki. I'm tricky huh? A little side of tzaziki may make everything A-OK.
I'll let you know how it goes and who ate what. I'll let you know if my husband cried. I'll let you know if "I" triumphed.
The battle for beans and greens. It's not going to be pretty.
If you'd like to make some yourself, here's the recipes I'm using:
Falafel: http://chowvegan.com/2009/01/06/baked-falafel/
And Tabbouleh: http://chowvegan.com/2009/01/06/baked-falafel/ For the tabbouleh (which I actually make quite often, I also tend to use couscous instead of the bulgur. Also, I add cilantro instead of mint.)
Play with your food, and Enjoy!
Monday, January 4, 2010
The Year 2010 Is Upon Us!!!!!
Is it just me, in my old fuddy duddy way, that thinks that 2010 sounds like some space age year in the future? I don't know about you, but the numbers just seem sooooo alien. So futuristic. So, weird.
Let's hope the year itself makes up for the fact that I feel like I'm living in a Sigourney Weaver flick!
We had a wonderful Christmas, and New Year's, and every day since. It really was one of our best holidays as a family in a long time. We had just the right amount of celebrating, visiting friends and holiday cheer. We got to spend a few really lovely days together, and I'm feeling quite at peace. If this is the way 2010 wants to usher in a new year, then I'll take it.
Last year was a difficult one and I was happy to sweep it out and start anew. I usually do make resolutions, mostly because I'm a "list" kind of gal and it's like one more "To Do" to follow. I took a look over my resolutions for 2009 and was pleased that I'd be able to scratch many of the items off. I also noticed that many of the items will be carried forward this year, not because they weren't completed, but because they have become part of our lifestyle. I'm still planning on eating fish, for example, once to twice a week. I'm still hoping to incorporate one vegetarian meal a week, maybe even add a second. I'm still interested in reducing costs, cutting unneeded expenses, and being a savvy shopper. All of those resolutions are keepers.
There are also, of course, some things I need to actually DO this year like get our passports. Those though are just practical necessities. I find they are good to write down, cross off, and feel a buzz of satisfaction.
Inevitably though, there are some deeper, inner resolutions that I want to devote my energy towards in the next year. I hesitate to say that I think this year will be a big one, because I tend to say that every year and then I feel let down when it isn't, or worse still, when it IS but it's big in a "not good big" way. I've learned the hard lesson that just when I feel myself coasting along contentedly, life throws a curveball to shake everything up once more.
My gut is telling me that this year is going to be a good one, and I've said it here before-I don't ignore my gut. So, I'm going to go with that. It's going to be a good one. Change is going to happen. Families will grow and change. Life will have unexpected surprises that we can't anticipate.
I'll be along for the ride. Now, I just have to go write out my resolutions for reals. I'll share them along the way with you all, maybe as I cross them off with an accomplished flair. (and then don't feel like a loser for the ones I told you about and didn't finish! It's all about positivity this year!)
2010-we are waiting and anticipating. It's a fresh start, a new day, and a new attitude. Heck, it's even a new decade.
Let's hope the year itself makes up for the fact that I feel like I'm living in a Sigourney Weaver flick!
We had a wonderful Christmas, and New Year's, and every day since. It really was one of our best holidays as a family in a long time. We had just the right amount of celebrating, visiting friends and holiday cheer. We got to spend a few really lovely days together, and I'm feeling quite at peace. If this is the way 2010 wants to usher in a new year, then I'll take it.
Last year was a difficult one and I was happy to sweep it out and start anew. I usually do make resolutions, mostly because I'm a "list" kind of gal and it's like one more "To Do" to follow. I took a look over my resolutions for 2009 and was pleased that I'd be able to scratch many of the items off. I also noticed that many of the items will be carried forward this year, not because they weren't completed, but because they have become part of our lifestyle. I'm still planning on eating fish, for example, once to twice a week. I'm still hoping to incorporate one vegetarian meal a week, maybe even add a second. I'm still interested in reducing costs, cutting unneeded expenses, and being a savvy shopper. All of those resolutions are keepers.
There are also, of course, some things I need to actually DO this year like get our passports. Those though are just practical necessities. I find they are good to write down, cross off, and feel a buzz of satisfaction.
Inevitably though, there are some deeper, inner resolutions that I want to devote my energy towards in the next year. I hesitate to say that I think this year will be a big one, because I tend to say that every year and then I feel let down when it isn't, or worse still, when it IS but it's big in a "not good big" way. I've learned the hard lesson that just when I feel myself coasting along contentedly, life throws a curveball to shake everything up once more.
My gut is telling me that this year is going to be a good one, and I've said it here before-I don't ignore my gut. So, I'm going to go with that. It's going to be a good one. Change is going to happen. Families will grow and change. Life will have unexpected surprises that we can't anticipate.
I'll be along for the ride. Now, I just have to go write out my resolutions for reals. I'll share them along the way with you all, maybe as I cross them off with an accomplished flair. (and then don't feel like a loser for the ones I told you about and didn't finish! It's all about positivity this year!)
2010-we are waiting and anticipating. It's a fresh start, a new day, and a new attitude. Heck, it's even a new decade.
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Head Full Of Nothing....or Everything?
Life is pretty busy as of late, and as I was showering at 11pm last night before my youngest daughters next round of Advil, all of these random thoughts started popping into my head. The shower often does that to me for some reason.
Since I haven't been keeping up to par on my blog writing, I thought I'd make it easy on myself (see last post-I'm all about comfort, ease and enjoyment right now) and let you take a quick peek inside the inner workings of my brain. I know, scary stuff.
Here, in no particular order, are some random thoughts I've been pondering recently.
-As an ECE and home daycare provider for the last, oh 10 years, I get a lot of gifts from parents at Christmas time. Of course, this is totally awesome and I appreciate the recognition of the time and energy and thought I put into their young children's lives. Yet, here's the thing. Over the years, I've received many, many a bottle of wine. This led me to the thought that parents either must think that after a day spent with their little darlings, daycare providers need to drink their faces off, OR, that I'm a boozehound. Of course, they'd be right on both counts. Har har. As I said, it's actually a great gift and one that you just can't go wrong giving. In my case anyways. This year, I am ecstatic that I also got two gift certificates to restaurants, cookies and something else is "coming." Hmmm. My family can now eat out every weekend for the next month! Woohoo!
-Secondly, Facebook is a strange and cool tool. I see all of these faces of people I went to school with from the time I was 5 and up through University and it blows my mind. I can picture all of these people "as we were" locked in that time frame, and it's incredible to now see them all married (or divorced, single, partnered, whatever) and with children and lives of their own. I find it interesting to imagine that "the crazy guy" is now a totally devoted Dad. The punk chick is a hands on Mom. The part that gets my curiosity is the choices we all make, and how different they are than the expectations we had for people who fell into certain roles or cliques. The "most beautiful" girl is still single and never married, for instance. I thought for sure she'd be snatched up right away, know what I mean? That leads me to the next musing....
-I would say a large majority of who I became and what I "wanted" out of my adulthood was formed by my own childhood. If you go back in my graduating year's yearbook, my "Ambition" was listed as "Realize the white picket dream." Truly, more than anything else, I wanted the security and comfort of a wonderful, happy family. I grew up with a great Mom, but one who made horrible choices in men. My home life for many years was epically horrific. My main focus wasn't a career or securing that high paying job, it was about making a good choice in a partner and raising a truly happy family. It's probably the reason why I got married at 22. You've seen it before, the person who grew up with little material wealth ends up searching for financial security at all costs, the girl who was always overlooked in favour of her brother shows everyone just how great she can be and outdoes her brother at every turn. All the same thing. That led me to my OWN children though. I wonder what their search will be? If we become who we are based a lot on our home lives and upbringing, where will their road take them? What will they see as "lacking." It's a deep thought, and kind of a scary one. Ah, parental guilt.
-Speaking of marriage and looking for the "right" guy, I was thinking about the major players in my own romantic history. I don't know how some people don't have a "type." That concept is weird to me, since my own selection is usually fairly similar. I like dark hair, and light eyes. As I was pondering the three significant relationships in my life, though, I also realized that even from a young age, I also was attracted to certain recurring traits. The boys, to men, that I've dated with intent, are all ambitious, confident, and not always well liked. They tend to be on the uber confident (ie cocky/arrogant) side. On the negative side, I also just realized something the other day. They were all also one way on the outside, to the world at large, and yet completely insecure and sensitive on the inside. All three of these guys needed a partner that saw them as the whole world. That, in a way, idolized them. I could lie on a couch and psychoanalyze THAT for hours on end, but I won't go into it here. Needless to say, this epiphany hit me in the shower and startled me a little. I'm consistent and true to form, at least. I'm not going to come out of left field and date somebody completely off kilter. It's always dark hair and eyes, uber confident, cocky bravado, with a smirky, teasing, flirty charm. He's never a bad boy, but rather just a bit of a flirty cad. I can give you a famous example as well, if you'd really like. Try a young Mel Gibson, (before the Sugar Tits fiasco) or a Robbie Williams (look him up for all you non-Anglophiles).
-As my friends and acquaintances of late seem to be going through divorces and custody situations, I dreamt that I was going through the same and wondering how we'd divvy up days. Oh. My. Word. That was NOT a good thought. I really don't know how people do that, or are okay with it. How would I LIVE not seeing my kids EVERY day? Wow. I truly couldn't and hope I never have to make those arrangements. I think it would break my husband and I both to have to do that.
-Lastly, as Christmas approaches, I've been thinking a lot about people and times in the past. I guess the holiday season brings out some reminiscing delusions of "the way we were." I'm someone who is always, always, always thinking. (as you can see by the myriad of above thoughts from one days' shower and sleep!!!) It made me wonder if all of the time I spend thinking about others, if they ever think of me. What do they think? You know how you have an impression of "who you are" or "who you were" as a teen, I wonder if those peeps who look me up on Facebook have an impression of me. I wish they'd share what it is/was. I think it would be interesting and maybe I'd learn something new about myself. I did have that happen recently. A girl I went to elementary school with looked me up and her first words to me were, "wow. I remember you so fondly and how you always made me laugh! In a good way! You were always so funny." Ain't nothing wrong with that. I know I was also often a jerk and could be kind of a bully, but I hope I gave more laughs to people than tears.
So, that's the end of the rambling randoms for one blog post. I don't know that I'll be back until after Christmas with everything wonderful and chaotic that it brings. I wish you and yours Happy Holidays. May you have many happy, interesting, arousing randoms of your own.
Since I haven't been keeping up to par on my blog writing, I thought I'd make it easy on myself (see last post-I'm all about comfort, ease and enjoyment right now) and let you take a quick peek inside the inner workings of my brain. I know, scary stuff.
Here, in no particular order, are some random thoughts I've been pondering recently.
-As an ECE and home daycare provider for the last, oh 10 years, I get a lot of gifts from parents at Christmas time. Of course, this is totally awesome and I appreciate the recognition of the time and energy and thought I put into their young children's lives. Yet, here's the thing. Over the years, I've received many, many a bottle of wine. This led me to the thought that parents either must think that after a day spent with their little darlings, daycare providers need to drink their faces off, OR, that I'm a boozehound. Of course, they'd be right on both counts. Har har. As I said, it's actually a great gift and one that you just can't go wrong giving. In my case anyways. This year, I am ecstatic that I also got two gift certificates to restaurants, cookies and something else is "coming." Hmmm. My family can now eat out every weekend for the next month! Woohoo!
-Secondly, Facebook is a strange and cool tool. I see all of these faces of people I went to school with from the time I was 5 and up through University and it blows my mind. I can picture all of these people "as we were" locked in that time frame, and it's incredible to now see them all married (or divorced, single, partnered, whatever) and with children and lives of their own. I find it interesting to imagine that "the crazy guy" is now a totally devoted Dad. The punk chick is a hands on Mom. The part that gets my curiosity is the choices we all make, and how different they are than the expectations we had for people who fell into certain roles or cliques. The "most beautiful" girl is still single and never married, for instance. I thought for sure she'd be snatched up right away, know what I mean? That leads me to the next musing....
-I would say a large majority of who I became and what I "wanted" out of my adulthood was formed by my own childhood. If you go back in my graduating year's yearbook, my "Ambition" was listed as "Realize the white picket dream." Truly, more than anything else, I wanted the security and comfort of a wonderful, happy family. I grew up with a great Mom, but one who made horrible choices in men. My home life for many years was epically horrific. My main focus wasn't a career or securing that high paying job, it was about making a good choice in a partner and raising a truly happy family. It's probably the reason why I got married at 22. You've seen it before, the person who grew up with little material wealth ends up searching for financial security at all costs, the girl who was always overlooked in favour of her brother shows everyone just how great she can be and outdoes her brother at every turn. All the same thing. That led me to my OWN children though. I wonder what their search will be? If we become who we are based a lot on our home lives and upbringing, where will their road take them? What will they see as "lacking." It's a deep thought, and kind of a scary one. Ah, parental guilt.
-Speaking of marriage and looking for the "right" guy, I was thinking about the major players in my own romantic history. I don't know how some people don't have a "type." That concept is weird to me, since my own selection is usually fairly similar. I like dark hair, and light eyes. As I was pondering the three significant relationships in my life, though, I also realized that even from a young age, I also was attracted to certain recurring traits. The boys, to men, that I've dated with intent, are all ambitious, confident, and not always well liked. They tend to be on the uber confident (ie cocky/arrogant) side. On the negative side, I also just realized something the other day. They were all also one way on the outside, to the world at large, and yet completely insecure and sensitive on the inside. All three of these guys needed a partner that saw them as the whole world. That, in a way, idolized them. I could lie on a couch and psychoanalyze THAT for hours on end, but I won't go into it here. Needless to say, this epiphany hit me in the shower and startled me a little. I'm consistent and true to form, at least. I'm not going to come out of left field and date somebody completely off kilter. It's always dark hair and eyes, uber confident, cocky bravado, with a smirky, teasing, flirty charm. He's never a bad boy, but rather just a bit of a flirty cad. I can give you a famous example as well, if you'd really like. Try a young Mel Gibson, (before the Sugar Tits fiasco) or a Robbie Williams (look him up for all you non-Anglophiles).
-As my friends and acquaintances of late seem to be going through divorces and custody situations, I dreamt that I was going through the same and wondering how we'd divvy up days. Oh. My. Word. That was NOT a good thought. I really don't know how people do that, or are okay with it. How would I LIVE not seeing my kids EVERY day? Wow. I truly couldn't and hope I never have to make those arrangements. I think it would break my husband and I both to have to do that.
-Lastly, as Christmas approaches, I've been thinking a lot about people and times in the past. I guess the holiday season brings out some reminiscing delusions of "the way we were." I'm someone who is always, always, always thinking. (as you can see by the myriad of above thoughts from one days' shower and sleep!!!) It made me wonder if all of the time I spend thinking about others, if they ever think of me. What do they think? You know how you have an impression of "who you are" or "who you were" as a teen, I wonder if those peeps who look me up on Facebook have an impression of me. I wish they'd share what it is/was. I think it would be interesting and maybe I'd learn something new about myself. I did have that happen recently. A girl I went to elementary school with looked me up and her first words to me were, "wow. I remember you so fondly and how you always made me laugh! In a good way! You were always so funny." Ain't nothing wrong with that. I know I was also often a jerk and could be kind of a bully, but I hope I gave more laughs to people than tears.
So, that's the end of the rambling randoms for one blog post. I don't know that I'll be back until after Christmas with everything wonderful and chaotic that it brings. I wish you and yours Happy Holidays. May you have many happy, interesting, arousing randoms of your own.
Monday, December 14, 2009
Sleigh Bells Ring....Are You Listening?
I sometimes wonder how Christmas, a one day celebration, has now become a month long event? Or, was it always this way?
Don't get me wrong, I love me some Christmas. Yet, it's always crazy stressful too. By the time Christmas day itself actually rolls around, I'm exhausted. My husband works long hours during this season, and that means that while he's bone tired and his legs are killing him and he's lost weight from "no time" to eat, I'm the one scrambling around doing EVERYTHING to make this one day "special." For everyone near and far.
I'm the one doing Christmas cards and shopping for gifts for family, friends, teachers, bus drivers, and who knows who else. I'm doing all of the wrapping. I'm making sure they have what they need for parties and school events. I'm mailing things out on time. It starts to feel less "fun" and "magical" and a little more like one more item on my To Do List that needs checking off, STAT.
On top of that, it's usually the wrap up for swimming and dance lessons and visiting and general running around. I try to stay cheerful and "merry and bright" but I have to admit-sometimes the pressure is high.
I talk to friends that are also feeling the crunch. It's not just the schedules and the baking and the shopping, it's the demand that we be happy and cheerful and joyous while doing it all. The reality is, the Christmas season can be burdensome for many. Parents want to make the day wonderful for their children, but often the stress of financial worries and family issues and the fact that we just can't do it ALL comes creeping in to mar that splendour.
I know I've been literally counting down the days that I'm finished "such and such" and can have one more demand off of my plate. That's horrible, isn't it? Real life, however, doesn't stop because Santa is coming.
This year, I've decided to enjoy the time even if it kills me. I'm sending cards, but I'm not crafting them or doing anything fancy. In fact, if you get one a little late, enjoy the fact that your cards are continuing into the New Year. (I have a friend that actually DOES send her cards, on purpose, in the New Year as opposed to Christmas cards! Oh, the horror! She said it removes that pressure, and she can really put more into them, and people enjoy getting a card into the New Year. She just might have something, there.) I'm not doing a ton of baking this year. I bought two huge buckets of cookie dough from the school, and I've made a few dozen cookies. I'm buying some, and I'm also going to enjoy the loaves my Mom made me, at my special request. (almond/dried apricot. To. Die.For) I'm not feeling pressured to give "so and so" a gift, or a card, because they gave me one. I'm not going crazy on spending for gifts either. I bought a few things as the months led up to this, and I'll add a few traditional gifts, and a few things the girls really wanted.
Even Christmas dinner this year is going to be laid back. We're joining our neighbours and their family-which means we'll only have to contribute to a meal as opposed to making the whole thing from scratch. We'll do a traditional tortiere dinner on Christmas Eve, and I think we'll have a special family dinner on the 27th, but again-the theme this year is low key.
I'm tired of the hustle and bustle. I want to enjoy my time, my family and my friends. The season is meant to be savoured and it's meant to bring peace and joy. It's not about commitments and time constraints and money and gifts. I've taken many things for granted over the years, and I have learned hard lessons. Life can change in a moment. What was, can be gone. I intend on slowing down a bit, and soaking in what IS, right now, at present.
In the quiet lights of the Christmas tree, with my family around me, I'm starting to focus on the real reason for the season and the meaning behind it all. I'll be capturing the moment in my head, to save for the days when things catch me off guard once again, and I'll be wearing a knowing smile.
Don't get me wrong, I love me some Christmas. Yet, it's always crazy stressful too. By the time Christmas day itself actually rolls around, I'm exhausted. My husband works long hours during this season, and that means that while he's bone tired and his legs are killing him and he's lost weight from "no time" to eat, I'm the one scrambling around doing EVERYTHING to make this one day "special." For everyone near and far.
I'm the one doing Christmas cards and shopping for gifts for family, friends, teachers, bus drivers, and who knows who else. I'm doing all of the wrapping. I'm making sure they have what they need for parties and school events. I'm mailing things out on time. It starts to feel less "fun" and "magical" and a little more like one more item on my To Do List that needs checking off, STAT.
On top of that, it's usually the wrap up for swimming and dance lessons and visiting and general running around. I try to stay cheerful and "merry and bright" but I have to admit-sometimes the pressure is high.
I talk to friends that are also feeling the crunch. It's not just the schedules and the baking and the shopping, it's the demand that we be happy and cheerful and joyous while doing it all. The reality is, the Christmas season can be burdensome for many. Parents want to make the day wonderful for their children, but often the stress of financial worries and family issues and the fact that we just can't do it ALL comes creeping in to mar that splendour.
I know I've been literally counting down the days that I'm finished "such and such" and can have one more demand off of my plate. That's horrible, isn't it? Real life, however, doesn't stop because Santa is coming.
This year, I've decided to enjoy the time even if it kills me. I'm sending cards, but I'm not crafting them or doing anything fancy. In fact, if you get one a little late, enjoy the fact that your cards are continuing into the New Year. (I have a friend that actually DOES send her cards, on purpose, in the New Year as opposed to Christmas cards! Oh, the horror! She said it removes that pressure, and she can really put more into them, and people enjoy getting a card into the New Year. She just might have something, there.) I'm not doing a ton of baking this year. I bought two huge buckets of cookie dough from the school, and I've made a few dozen cookies. I'm buying some, and I'm also going to enjoy the loaves my Mom made me, at my special request. (almond/dried apricot. To. Die.For) I'm not feeling pressured to give "so and so" a gift, or a card, because they gave me one. I'm not going crazy on spending for gifts either. I bought a few things as the months led up to this, and I'll add a few traditional gifts, and a few things the girls really wanted.
Even Christmas dinner this year is going to be laid back. We're joining our neighbours and their family-which means we'll only have to contribute to a meal as opposed to making the whole thing from scratch. We'll do a traditional tortiere dinner on Christmas Eve, and I think we'll have a special family dinner on the 27th, but again-the theme this year is low key.
I'm tired of the hustle and bustle. I want to enjoy my time, my family and my friends. The season is meant to be savoured and it's meant to bring peace and joy. It's not about commitments and time constraints and money and gifts. I've taken many things for granted over the years, and I have learned hard lessons. Life can change in a moment. What was, can be gone. I intend on slowing down a bit, and soaking in what IS, right now, at present.
In the quiet lights of the Christmas tree, with my family around me, I'm starting to focus on the real reason for the season and the meaning behind it all. I'll be capturing the moment in my head, to save for the days when things catch me off guard once again, and I'll be wearing a knowing smile.
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