Monday, March 21, 2011


I'm an old pro at sabotaging myself. Yep, I don't need any help in the matter, I have mastered it all on my own.

I used to do it in romantic type relationships. I guess if I lay down on the psychology couch, it was a way of preempting the hurt I felt confident was coming anyways. I'd just take matters into my own hands and find some way to screw the whole thing up in the messiest, most disastrous way possible.

Uh huh. I'm pretty much my own worst enemy.

When I met my husband, no joke, it still took me a few years to get out of that mindset. I don't know how many times I pushed and pushed but the poor masochistic dude just wouldn't GO.

I've also done it in terms of meeting goals. I'll procrastinate hard core so that when it all comes down to it, I never end up reaching things I've desired for myself. I'm sure that has a hint of "fear of failure, so don't try at all" to it as well.

I was reading blogs the other day and looking at all of these fabulous people who have totally changed their lifestyles and lost crazy amounts of weight. I mean, like hundreds. An example? Biggest Loser. Yet, I can't seem to make a lasting commitment to way less?

I'll start off great. I'll be gung ho. Then, I just start going completely off the path. I start buying and eating things I know I shouldn't, and then get sad and lament why I keep staying in this cycle where clearly I'm not happy.

I have motivation, I don't think that's the issue. I don't really know what the issue is, actually. Fear of actually reaching a goal? Lack of willpower or drive?

I need hypnosis or something. Maybe Prozac.

Thoughts? How do you stop yourself from self-sabotaging and keeping your eye on the prize?


  1. I understand what you're saying and I have done all of that too. Firstly, I just have to say that to me, you look perfectly beautiful just the way you are! Jusssayin ;-) But I know how you are feeling because everyone sees themselves differently and has their own personal goals to achieve.

    I urge you to go to iTunes and check out Jillian Michaels' new podcast "The Jillian Michaels Show" and listen to her second one. SHe takes questions at the end and she addresses the issue of motivation and how to really ask yourself some questions about "why" who want to reach these goals firstly, and then also why you aren't doing it. I never cared for JM on BL, but her podcasts shed a different light on her and I LOVE everything she has to say!!

    Part of it for me is the thought of how much WORK and how freaking LONG it takes to get where I'm going (again!) but the thing I'm keeping in mind now is that I can't think about the "end game" as being so far in the future, I just have to think about "today" as my end game!

  2. Angie-You are just too darn sweet. Thanks for the compliment.
    I will definitely check out the Jillian Michaels podcast. I haven't been a fan of hers on BL but I'll take your recommendation!

    And-I love that last piece of advice. I'm always projecting ahead-and I need to live in the NOW. Day by day. Thanks for the reminder!

  3. I think there comes a point where your decisions and choices to incorporate exercise and eating healthy become a true lifestyle change rather than another "diet" or another "get fit" plan. once you find something you enjoy from an exercise perspective, it's not drudgery or work to incorporate fitness. the activity becomes such an integral part of your routine that you feel out of sorts if you don't do it. making healthy food choices is my struggle - sure I eat about the same amount of calories per day but it might be filled with chocolates and sugar instead of fruits and vegetables - and I can always tell when I've been on THAT menu for too long - I feel sluggish, my belly bloats, my pants feel too tight. it's a vicious circle. you need to figure out what point where you're happy and work towards that. be loving to yourself - and by that I mean, don't set a date to be at a certain weight/size/goal. work towards it. practice...not perfect, right? do the best you can, and commit only to yourself as it relates to healthy choices and workout regimines. once you stop fretting, listen to your body and make the food and exercise choices your body needs, things probably will look a little different. take things one day at the time. you'll get there!