Did you miss the blog?
I've been away for a luxurious ten days of fun filled visits with friends and family. My girls had a great time with their cousins and family, and seeing their friends that they have missed. I got to see my best gals which is always laughter and comfort filled. I spent the time at my sisters catching up and making plans. And again with the laughter.
And now I'm back "home."
So for today, that involves many, many loads of laundry. It means stocking up on a large mass of groceries. It means trying to adjust to being back on the 'ol routine. And with the sun shining and a new month ahead, it also feels like it's time for a change. I'm not sure what that change will be, but I feel it in the air. Guess I'll just have to wait and see what the days bring.
Being back, it makes me realize that home truly is whatever you make of it. I am far away from my family and many of my lifelong friends. However, I'm creating a life in these new surroundings with new friends and activities and life experiences. When I go back to my old life, I miss being there. I miss all of the people and places and amenities. And yet, I see the beauty of here as well. Oh, it's definitely infinitely different. But there is something about that slower pace that appeals to me. There's something to lower costs of living and older homes and no housing developments. There's something to kids playing in the streets.
Does that make me less hopeful that I'll one day move back to that old comfortable home? Of course not. But it makes me want to relish my time here and make it as memorable and pleasant as it can be, for me and for my girls.
"Home" is truly where your heart lies. And while where I want to eventually "settle" may be a few hours away from where I currently reside, home is also where my family gathers to talk and play and love. And THAT could be anywhere in the world, as long as we are together.
"Home" lives in your heart, and not within the confines of four walls. So, make wherever you currently dwell feel like a soft landing place and be "at home" with yourself.
Monday, March 23, 2009
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Retreat
I happened upon a book at the library a week or more ago, called "A Year By The Sea" by Joan Anderson.
It's a memoir of the time she spent away in Cape Cod as a hiatus from her life and all of its' demands. Her husband had accepted a position out of state and came home to announce they were moving. Her sons were grown men and out of the home. She felt like she had spent so many years in roles for others, that she no longer knew who she was inside. So, she told her husband she wasn't moving, and instead was going to take a year living at their cottage by the sea. The book chronicles her experience there and what she learned and came away with at the end.
In Joan, I saw so much of myself, or who I would be in some odd decade and a half. Personality wise there seemed many similarities as well. And the "search" I think, for most women, is easily transferable. Needless to say, I read through the book in about 2 hours. I then got another one of her books, "A Weekend To Change Your Life". She also has "An Unfinished Marriage" that I'd like to read. After her experience, she started hosting women's weekend retreats. She thinks it's very important that women "get away" for some time. Most don't have the luxury of a year like she did, or even 6 weeks like some of her friends did. But a weekend, hopefully, one can carve out. In "A Weekend To Change Your Life" she talks about what happens on those retreats and how you can do it yourself.
She said she saw friends hitting that searching or questioning period in their lives, and they found new careers, or went back to school, one came "out", another got divorced. She felt though that all they were doing was getting new labels and not really finding out about themselves.
As women, we tend to take on so many roles and so much of the caretaking of others. We have jobs and then come home to family and dinner and chores. Or, we stay home and spend our days making sure that everyone else's day around us runs smoothly. We volunteer, carpool, stand on school boards. We hold our friends up when they can't. We kiss scraped knees and mend broken hearts. We bake and clean and cook and iron. We encourage and support job ambitions. And at the end of the day, as one woman says in the book, "they don't give out a gold watch for menopause."
And yet, where in that day do we TRULY take time for ourselves? Even 20 minutes of pure alone time seems like an indulgence, at least to me. I feel guilty if I lie in bed extra long. I feel guilty if I go out to dinner and stay out longer. Too long. I feel guilty if I spend money on myself or if I didn't do any cleaning around the house that day. And if I went away for a weekend? I'd practically ruin it thinking about what my family was doing at home without me, or how they were managing. Why?????
Do men go away golfing and feel guilty? I don't think so. Do they feel guilty for guys nights and for making sure they don't miss their weeknight pick-up hockey game with friends? Again, I doubt it.
So what is it about being a woman that makes us feel so little regard for our own wants and needs?? And why does doing something for ourselves make us feel like we are acting selfishly or indulgently?
In the book, she advises that you get out a bunch of your childhood pictures and line them up in a chronological order and notice the subtle changes in your expression, in your clothing, in the shine in your eyes. She says to notice when "you started playing the role society imposed on you" and lost some of that quality that made you who you were as a child. How do we end up in these roles when we swore we wouldn't?
I would say I've changed a lot from the little kid that I was once upon a time. I was a kid that was always curious and getting into trouble because of it. I was always overly confident, overly sure of myself. I've always been bossy and a little sassy. But I always had a bit of a swagger-people like me, I'm smart, I'm pretty, I'm going to be whatever I want to be. Where did that go? Now, I question everything before I do it, I'd have an anxiety attack about doing something that was different or a change. I've lost that "too bad for them, I'm going to do it anyways and not worry what they think" quality about myself. I've lost my swagger. (though I'm still bossy and a little sassy)
By "getting away" though, she doesn't mean hanging out the whole time chatting with your friends and shopping. She thinks it's important for women to get back to themselves and the only way to truly "hear" yourself is in solitude. She advises to take a few hours of each day of a weekend away, all to yourselves. Walk somewhere new. Seek out a quiet spot. And just be. She recommends journaling and also gives some exercises to reflect on.
I know this all sounds very New Age-which is very much NOT me. But to say the books touched me in a very deep and personal way, as you can tell by how much I just wrote about them, is redundant. It's where I am currently in my own life.
While I'm certainly questioning "what I want to be when I grow up," there is a deeper part of me that wants to reclaim who I am as a person. What "I" am interested in. What makes me passionate and happy and joyful. So that, while I can't completely shun my role and nor do I want to, I can come at it with a renewed sense of self. And a sense of balance to all of the things I am to others versus all of the things I am to MYSELF.
So, I think a girls weekend is in order. I'd love to go on one of the author's retreats, but I'd settle for a bunch of my women friends, and a weekend by a lake. I am sure that laughter and tears and wine would be on the agenda, but I also think some time to touch base with my inner self would be there too. And really, who better to do that with than a bunch of your girl friends?
For surely they can see in you what you can't see in yourself. It's like a true mirror held up for you to look into, rather than the funhouse mirrors we so often see reflected back with our own eyes.
I really recommend you check out the books. Maybe they won't touch you as they did me. Maybe you aren't in the searching mode, yet. Maybe they are just too hokey for you. But for those of you wondering and seeking, they are worth the read. (http://www.randomhouse.com/features/unfinished/index.html)
Who's up for a road trip?
It's a memoir of the time she spent away in Cape Cod as a hiatus from her life and all of its' demands. Her husband had accepted a position out of state and came home to announce they were moving. Her sons were grown men and out of the home. She felt like she had spent so many years in roles for others, that she no longer knew who she was inside. So, she told her husband she wasn't moving, and instead was going to take a year living at their cottage by the sea. The book chronicles her experience there and what she learned and came away with at the end.
In Joan, I saw so much of myself, or who I would be in some odd decade and a half. Personality wise there seemed many similarities as well. And the "search" I think, for most women, is easily transferable. Needless to say, I read through the book in about 2 hours. I then got another one of her books, "A Weekend To Change Your Life". She also has "An Unfinished Marriage" that I'd like to read. After her experience, she started hosting women's weekend retreats. She thinks it's very important that women "get away" for some time. Most don't have the luxury of a year like she did, or even 6 weeks like some of her friends did. But a weekend, hopefully, one can carve out. In "A Weekend To Change Your Life" she talks about what happens on those retreats and how you can do it yourself.
She said she saw friends hitting that searching or questioning period in their lives, and they found new careers, or went back to school, one came "out", another got divorced. She felt though that all they were doing was getting new labels and not really finding out about themselves.
As women, we tend to take on so many roles and so much of the caretaking of others. We have jobs and then come home to family and dinner and chores. Or, we stay home and spend our days making sure that everyone else's day around us runs smoothly. We volunteer, carpool, stand on school boards. We hold our friends up when they can't. We kiss scraped knees and mend broken hearts. We bake and clean and cook and iron. We encourage and support job ambitions. And at the end of the day, as one woman says in the book, "they don't give out a gold watch for menopause."
And yet, where in that day do we TRULY take time for ourselves? Even 20 minutes of pure alone time seems like an indulgence, at least to me. I feel guilty if I lie in bed extra long. I feel guilty if I go out to dinner and stay out longer. Too long. I feel guilty if I spend money on myself or if I didn't do any cleaning around the house that day. And if I went away for a weekend? I'd practically ruin it thinking about what my family was doing at home without me, or how they were managing. Why?????
Do men go away golfing and feel guilty? I don't think so. Do they feel guilty for guys nights and for making sure they don't miss their weeknight pick-up hockey game with friends? Again, I doubt it.
So what is it about being a woman that makes us feel so little regard for our own wants and needs?? And why does doing something for ourselves make us feel like we are acting selfishly or indulgently?
In the book, she advises that you get out a bunch of your childhood pictures and line them up in a chronological order and notice the subtle changes in your expression, in your clothing, in the shine in your eyes. She says to notice when "you started playing the role society imposed on you" and lost some of that quality that made you who you were as a child. How do we end up in these roles when we swore we wouldn't?
I would say I've changed a lot from the little kid that I was once upon a time. I was a kid that was always curious and getting into trouble because of it. I was always overly confident, overly sure of myself. I've always been bossy and a little sassy. But I always had a bit of a swagger-people like me, I'm smart, I'm pretty, I'm going to be whatever I want to be. Where did that go? Now, I question everything before I do it, I'd have an anxiety attack about doing something that was different or a change. I've lost that "too bad for them, I'm going to do it anyways and not worry what they think" quality about myself. I've lost my swagger. (though I'm still bossy and a little sassy)
By "getting away" though, she doesn't mean hanging out the whole time chatting with your friends and shopping. She thinks it's important for women to get back to themselves and the only way to truly "hear" yourself is in solitude. She advises to take a few hours of each day of a weekend away, all to yourselves. Walk somewhere new. Seek out a quiet spot. And just be. She recommends journaling and also gives some exercises to reflect on.
I know this all sounds very New Age-which is very much NOT me. But to say the books touched me in a very deep and personal way, as you can tell by how much I just wrote about them, is redundant. It's where I am currently in my own life.
While I'm certainly questioning "what I want to be when I grow up," there is a deeper part of me that wants to reclaim who I am as a person. What "I" am interested in. What makes me passionate and happy and joyful. So that, while I can't completely shun my role and nor do I want to, I can come at it with a renewed sense of self. And a sense of balance to all of the things I am to others versus all of the things I am to MYSELF.
So, I think a girls weekend is in order. I'd love to go on one of the author's retreats, but I'd settle for a bunch of my women friends, and a weekend by a lake. I am sure that laughter and tears and wine would be on the agenda, but I also think some time to touch base with my inner self would be there too. And really, who better to do that with than a bunch of your girl friends?
For surely they can see in you what you can't see in yourself. It's like a true mirror held up for you to look into, rather than the funhouse mirrors we so often see reflected back with our own eyes.
I really recommend you check out the books. Maybe they won't touch you as they did me. Maybe you aren't in the searching mode, yet. Maybe they are just too hokey for you. But for those of you wondering and seeking, they are worth the read. (http://www.randomhouse.com/features/unfinished/index.html)
Who's up for a road trip?
Friday, March 6, 2009
Just......Breathe
Today, it's dark and grey and dismal outside. But, the temperature is above zero and is supposed to remain that way for the next week. I can't express how much I need that warmth! It seems like it's been a long time coming!
I have some more house cleaning I need to do today (hiss, boo!) and I really should work out. I've been totally slacking. I haven't gone to the gym, I haven't done my new Zumba, I haven't done my new Bar Method. I haven't felt much like doing, well, anything.
Tonight the girls have swimming lessons again. My eldest passed her level (it's been five tries now!) and my youngest is still in the same level. While they are at their swimming, I have to do some shopping. My eldest has a sleepover birthday party to attend on Saturday, so I have to pick up a gift for her friend and get a few other things.
Tomorrow the girls go to their cooking class and I go to the gym. Afterwards is the sleepover for the eldest. I think I'll try and do a fun night with my little one. Maybe a pedicure and a movie. A girly night for her too.
Sunday is the ever exciting grocery shopping day. Again I say, boo hiss.
BUT-the exciting time is coming up! I cannot wait to go home for March Break. I probably won't blog that week while I'm away, but you never know. I just might surprise you! It will depend if I can wrestle my niece away from the computer long enough. We have a whole lot of fun activities planned so I hope to be a little busy combined with a lot relaxing.
The longer I sit here, the less I feel like doing those chores. I have a book just calling my name. Maybe I should just make a nice cup of Bengal Spice tea and curl up with my book. The last few months have been so stressful and I've been on such "high alert" all of the time, I feel like I just have had all of the energy sapped right out of me. It seems like every day has been a new crisis or new drama, and I feel like I just need some days, weeks, months to get centered again. A lot of people resort to sleeping pills or Prozac or whatever it takes to get through the day. I can understand that need, but it's just not me. My elixer is always some quiet reflection time, coupled with some zoning out time, coupled with some working out time.
I feel like I've been holding my breath for months, and now it's time to just....breathe.
I have some more house cleaning I need to do today (hiss, boo!) and I really should work out. I've been totally slacking. I haven't gone to the gym, I haven't done my new Zumba, I haven't done my new Bar Method. I haven't felt much like doing, well, anything.
Tonight the girls have swimming lessons again. My eldest passed her level (it's been five tries now!) and my youngest is still in the same level. While they are at their swimming, I have to do some shopping. My eldest has a sleepover birthday party to attend on Saturday, so I have to pick up a gift for her friend and get a few other things.
Tomorrow the girls go to their cooking class and I go to the gym. Afterwards is the sleepover for the eldest. I think I'll try and do a fun night with my little one. Maybe a pedicure and a movie. A girly night for her too.
Sunday is the ever exciting grocery shopping day. Again I say, boo hiss.
BUT-the exciting time is coming up! I cannot wait to go home for March Break. I probably won't blog that week while I'm away, but you never know. I just might surprise you! It will depend if I can wrestle my niece away from the computer long enough. We have a whole lot of fun activities planned so I hope to be a little busy combined with a lot relaxing.
The longer I sit here, the less I feel like doing those chores. I have a book just calling my name. Maybe I should just make a nice cup of Bengal Spice tea and curl up with my book. The last few months have been so stressful and I've been on such "high alert" all of the time, I feel like I just have had all of the energy sapped right out of me. It seems like every day has been a new crisis or new drama, and I feel like I just need some days, weeks, months to get centered again. A lot of people resort to sleeping pills or Prozac or whatever it takes to get through the day. I can understand that need, but it's just not me. My elixer is always some quiet reflection time, coupled with some zoning out time, coupled with some working out time.
I feel like I've been holding my breath for months, and now it's time to just....breathe.
Thursday, March 5, 2009
Mad At The World
I woke up this morning and didn't feel like writing the blog today. I just wasn't in the mood. In fact, I'd say I'm in a rather foul mood.
I'm sick and tired of bad things happening to good people, and bad people getting off scott free. There, I said it.
For all of those that believe in "Karma," I think it's crap. I truly do. I have known some truly horrendous individuals, and I waited a good and long time for them to "get theirs" and I don't think they ever did.
In fact, right now today, at this very moment, there are people out there that are oblivious to the needs or feelings of others. They sit in their glass houses, high above we small plebeians, and cast many stones. They are above helping someone they don't know, that is in need. They are above being kind to others. Some of them don't even care about the ruin and destruction they leave in their wake, as long as their own personal worlds are intact. It would physically pain them to go out of their comfort zone to aid another struggling human being.
And then there are people that would truly give you the shirt off of their back. That are wonderful mothers and sisters and parents and friends. That do "little things" for someone else every day, never seeking recognition or kudos. That nurture and caretake for the simple reason that someone else "needs" them. That don't deserve anything less than a life of happiness and butterflies and singing in the rain.
Why, oh why, do the crappy people seem to always come out okay, and the wonderful people have to haul heavy burdens???
I know there are theories galore about all of this. That the more bad stuff we experience, the more we learn and the more we are enriched, which in turn actually makes us even BETTER, FULLER individuals. That the crappy people never expand their empathy and kindness and life experience, which is why they stay shallow and superficial.
I don't really know and I don't really care, today. I'm tired of it all. I want something spectacularly good to happen to someone I know that deserves it. I don't want to punish those who also deserve it, because I never wish negativity on others. But I sometimes hope that there is "Karma". And that it strikes soon and it strikes hard. I guess that is kind of negative, after all. But like I said, I don't really believe in Karma so I guess that's moot.
But I do wish positivity on all of those out there who live their lives conscientiously and with integrity. In fact, I'm standing here, fists in the sky, demanding it.
I'm sick and tired of bad things happening to good people, and bad people getting off scott free. There, I said it.
For all of those that believe in "Karma," I think it's crap. I truly do. I have known some truly horrendous individuals, and I waited a good and long time for them to "get theirs" and I don't think they ever did.
In fact, right now today, at this very moment, there are people out there that are oblivious to the needs or feelings of others. They sit in their glass houses, high above we small plebeians, and cast many stones. They are above helping someone they don't know, that is in need. They are above being kind to others. Some of them don't even care about the ruin and destruction they leave in their wake, as long as their own personal worlds are intact. It would physically pain them to go out of their comfort zone to aid another struggling human being.
And then there are people that would truly give you the shirt off of their back. That are wonderful mothers and sisters and parents and friends. That do "little things" for someone else every day, never seeking recognition or kudos. That nurture and caretake for the simple reason that someone else "needs" them. That don't deserve anything less than a life of happiness and butterflies and singing in the rain.
Why, oh why, do the crappy people seem to always come out okay, and the wonderful people have to haul heavy burdens???
I know there are theories galore about all of this. That the more bad stuff we experience, the more we learn and the more we are enriched, which in turn actually makes us even BETTER, FULLER individuals. That the crappy people never expand their empathy and kindness and life experience, which is why they stay shallow and superficial.
I don't really know and I don't really care, today. I'm tired of it all. I want something spectacularly good to happen to someone I know that deserves it. I don't want to punish those who also deserve it, because I never wish negativity on others. But I sometimes hope that there is "Karma". And that it strikes soon and it strikes hard. I guess that is kind of negative, after all. But like I said, I don't really believe in Karma so I guess that's moot.
But I do wish positivity on all of those out there who live their lives conscientiously and with integrity. In fact, I'm standing here, fists in the sky, demanding it.
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
Sixth Sense
Do you ever get that feeling in your gut, which comes on suddenly, that "something" is about to happen??? It's an eerie kind of intuition that either warns or informs that there is something big around the corner, in the air, about to occur.
I've had it happen to me several times throughout my life, and I guess you'd call it a sixth sense. Unfortunately, it hasn't happened when I would have liked it to, such as in warning of something hurtful or serious about to strike, but it has given me the pervasive feeling that "something this way cometh." And I never know if that's going to be good, or bad. It's just a weird notion that hangs over me and that I can never really put my finger on.
The last time I remember it happening clearly was in April of 2007. I remember the date because I had written about it on my online journal at the time. When the feeling came, I sensed change was in the air. I wrote that I felt that something big was about to happen for me or for my family. We found out three months later that my husband had received a promotion that would require us to move four hours away and essentially uproot our entire lives.
But that's the other thing about this sixth sense. I never know if it will be happening tomorrow, or months from now. That's very annoying. It would be nice to have some accuracy with this gift I am supposedly lucky to have inherited. Would it be too difficult to pinpoint a date??
So, all of this to say, I have the feeling again. To make it even more strange, my friend who lives not only across the country, but in ANOTHER country (USA) has the same feeling. Now, does that mean my feeling is for HER? Does it mean hers is for ME? Or do we both just have a creepy feeling for our respective lives? Very confusing. I guess it's not an exact science or I could be the next Nostradamus.
So, I live with the foreboding thought that the winds are about to blow something my way. Will it be good news or not so good news? Will it be for me or someone else? When will it happen?
Or maybe I'm just crazy. I know many people might agree with that sentiment instead! But, of course, I can sense that they are wrong.
I've had it happen to me several times throughout my life, and I guess you'd call it a sixth sense. Unfortunately, it hasn't happened when I would have liked it to, such as in warning of something hurtful or serious about to strike, but it has given me the pervasive feeling that "something this way cometh." And I never know if that's going to be good, or bad. It's just a weird notion that hangs over me and that I can never really put my finger on.
The last time I remember it happening clearly was in April of 2007. I remember the date because I had written about it on my online journal at the time. When the feeling came, I sensed change was in the air. I wrote that I felt that something big was about to happen for me or for my family. We found out three months later that my husband had received a promotion that would require us to move four hours away and essentially uproot our entire lives.
But that's the other thing about this sixth sense. I never know if it will be happening tomorrow, or months from now. That's very annoying. It would be nice to have some accuracy with this gift I am supposedly lucky to have inherited. Would it be too difficult to pinpoint a date??
So, all of this to say, I have the feeling again. To make it even more strange, my friend who lives not only across the country, but in ANOTHER country (USA) has the same feeling. Now, does that mean my feeling is for HER? Does it mean hers is for ME? Or do we both just have a creepy feeling for our respective lives? Very confusing. I guess it's not an exact science or I could be the next Nostradamus.
So, I live with the foreboding thought that the winds are about to blow something my way. Will it be good news or not so good news? Will it be for me or someone else? When will it happen?
Or maybe I'm just crazy. I know many people might agree with that sentiment instead! But, of course, I can sense that they are wrong.
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
A Whole Lotta Nothin'
So todays's blog is just going to be a random update about all of the stuff going on currently in my family's life. Currently meaning now and in the near future. You know, cause I'm sure you're all chomping at the bit to know what goes on in these four walls.
Firstly, I got news last night from my sister that my Dad is going back into the hospital. Sigh. My sister had called and his wife said that since he got home he hasn't been eating, drinking or showering much. He's just sleeping a lot and lying around. In that time, about a week, he's lost nine pounds as well. She said she wasn't going to watch him fade away, so he's going back to the doctor today and she thinks back in the hospital. I honestly think it's just my Dad being my Dad and that he needs some tough love and a kick in the butt. The nurses did that in the hospital, but I think his wife is so concerned about nurturing him and taking care of him-she's not doling out the strict side you need with my Dad. I know if my sister talks to him, she'll dish it out to him though! Yikes!
Next, and I'm so excited about this, we are headed back "home" for March Break. We are going a bit early so we have even extra time to see my family and friends, whom I literally miss every day. It's hard being away from your support system, and nothing warms the heart or brings inner peace like being with those who know all of your faults (not saying that "I" have any of course!) but love you anyways. My daughters get to see their cousins, and their Granny, and their Aunt and Uncle, plus all of their friends. We are doing a bunch of fun activities, but really for me, it's just about being there. Being "home."
I have entered a bunch of contests lately to win various prizes like a trip for four to PEI, a trip for two to Ireland, a weekend at a spa and a million dollars. I'd take any and all of those things, though the million dollars probably wins out because then I could do all of those things anyways and share some of the wealth too. I have a friend who used to enter every contest out there, and she won all of the time too! She has since passed away, but I think of her all of the time when I enter these contests (and throughout my days in general!) and know she's probably cracking up. (I'm hoping she's also going to help me out a little too!!! Janet-a sista needs a win here!) So, if I am suddenly missing, don't be worried. It just means I've won and I'm off bathing in my millions like Scrooge McDuck.
Today I'm stripping beds and doing laundry and cleaning bathrooms. Don't hate. I know you are jealous! Once I'm finished my chores for the day, I'm going to do a little Zumba and Bar Method and see how I like them. The sun is shining and with so much on the horizon, it feels like something big is just around the corner.
Hopefully a GOOD something big.
Firstly, I got news last night from my sister that my Dad is going back into the hospital. Sigh. My sister had called and his wife said that since he got home he hasn't been eating, drinking or showering much. He's just sleeping a lot and lying around. In that time, about a week, he's lost nine pounds as well. She said she wasn't going to watch him fade away, so he's going back to the doctor today and she thinks back in the hospital. I honestly think it's just my Dad being my Dad and that he needs some tough love and a kick in the butt. The nurses did that in the hospital, but I think his wife is so concerned about nurturing him and taking care of him-she's not doling out the strict side you need with my Dad. I know if my sister talks to him, she'll dish it out to him though! Yikes!
Next, and I'm so excited about this, we are headed back "home" for March Break. We are going a bit early so we have even extra time to see my family and friends, whom I literally miss every day. It's hard being away from your support system, and nothing warms the heart or brings inner peace like being with those who know all of your faults (not saying that "I" have any of course!) but love you anyways. My daughters get to see their cousins, and their Granny, and their Aunt and Uncle, plus all of their friends. We are doing a bunch of fun activities, but really for me, it's just about being there. Being "home."
I have entered a bunch of contests lately to win various prizes like a trip for four to PEI, a trip for two to Ireland, a weekend at a spa and a million dollars. I'd take any and all of those things, though the million dollars probably wins out because then I could do all of those things anyways and share some of the wealth too. I have a friend who used to enter every contest out there, and she won all of the time too! She has since passed away, but I think of her all of the time when I enter these contests (and throughout my days in general!) and know she's probably cracking up. (I'm hoping she's also going to help me out a little too!!! Janet-a sista needs a win here!) So, if I am suddenly missing, don't be worried. It just means I've won and I'm off bathing in my millions like Scrooge McDuck.
Today I'm stripping beds and doing laundry and cleaning bathrooms. Don't hate. I know you are jealous! Once I'm finished my chores for the day, I'm going to do a little Zumba and Bar Method and see how I like them. The sun is shining and with so much on the horizon, it feels like something big is just around the corner.
Hopefully a GOOD something big.
Monday, March 2, 2009
The Scales of Injustice
I hate the scale. Not that most women love it or anything, but I truly hate it.
I'm actually doing well in the "once a month" weighing thing that I had vowed. But every time I step on that dreaded piece of equipment, I'm disappointed.
I just don't get it. I'm also taking my inches, and THEY are coming off. My clothes, once fitting tightly or just barely (picture a stuffed sausage) are now fitting loosely. All of this is GREAT, FANTASTIC, AWESOME news. I'm not complaining about that.
I am complaining about the scale. I've lost some weight. But why, oh why, does the scale seem to move so slowly? When I try something on and it's loose, I expect the scale to have dropped more drastically. But nope. Barely. I expect it to be a lot lower, every single time.
I was working out, hard, 6x a week. After reaching the burnout I knew would happen, I took a week off. I'm now switching up my workout and working out 4x a week. Still hard, but less intense than before. I'm watching what I eat, mostly, and trying to eat lots of fruit and vegetables. Yet, still, the scales torturous needle barely moves. It's almost mocking me. I even do all of the wives tales of weighing that women adhere to doing. You know what I'm talking about ladies. Don't pretend you don't also weigh first thing in the morning, naked, before a morsel has touched your lips and after you've gone to the bathroom. You know it's true.
This week, I'm going to try to really watch my diet and see if I'm eating too many calories and see if I can nip that back a little. I'm going to amp up the workout by adding two new components. I'm at the gym those 4x a week, so I'm going to try and add some DVD's at home. I got a Bar Method DVD (combination of Pilates, Yoga and Ballet) and I'm looking for a Zumba DVD. Hopefully that will help as well.
I have a vision, and I'm going to reach it. I told myself that this time, I'd let the process take "as long as it's going to take" and that I'd just keep plugging along. So, that's what I'm doing. But man, I really wish that scale would MOVE. JUMP. DROP.
I'm not a slave to the scale, by any means. But it's hard to eat yet another salad and do yet another chin up when the scale barely budges.
I'm stubborn though, and I AM seeing results, so I just need to focus on that. I don't want to feel like that commercial where the women are walking along with the scale attached to their ankle. But I do curse my slow metabolism!!! Thanks Mom!
This is a fight I intend on winning. One painfully slow number on the scale at a time.
I'm actually doing well in the "once a month" weighing thing that I had vowed. But every time I step on that dreaded piece of equipment, I'm disappointed.
I just don't get it. I'm also taking my inches, and THEY are coming off. My clothes, once fitting tightly or just barely (picture a stuffed sausage) are now fitting loosely. All of this is GREAT, FANTASTIC, AWESOME news. I'm not complaining about that.
I am complaining about the scale. I've lost some weight. But why, oh why, does the scale seem to move so slowly? When I try something on and it's loose, I expect the scale to have dropped more drastically. But nope. Barely. I expect it to be a lot lower, every single time.
I was working out, hard, 6x a week. After reaching the burnout I knew would happen, I took a week off. I'm now switching up my workout and working out 4x a week. Still hard, but less intense than before. I'm watching what I eat, mostly, and trying to eat lots of fruit and vegetables. Yet, still, the scales torturous needle barely moves. It's almost mocking me. I even do all of the wives tales of weighing that women adhere to doing. You know what I'm talking about ladies. Don't pretend you don't also weigh first thing in the morning, naked, before a morsel has touched your lips and after you've gone to the bathroom. You know it's true.
This week, I'm going to try to really watch my diet and see if I'm eating too many calories and see if I can nip that back a little. I'm going to amp up the workout by adding two new components. I'm at the gym those 4x a week, so I'm going to try and add some DVD's at home. I got a Bar Method DVD (combination of Pilates, Yoga and Ballet) and I'm looking for a Zumba DVD. Hopefully that will help as well.
I have a vision, and I'm going to reach it. I told myself that this time, I'd let the process take "as long as it's going to take" and that I'd just keep plugging along. So, that's what I'm doing. But man, I really wish that scale would MOVE. JUMP. DROP.
I'm not a slave to the scale, by any means. But it's hard to eat yet another salad and do yet another chin up when the scale barely budges.
I'm stubborn though, and I AM seeing results, so I just need to focus on that. I don't want to feel like that commercial where the women are walking along with the scale attached to their ankle. But I do curse my slow metabolism!!! Thanks Mom!
This is a fight I intend on winning. One painfully slow number on the scale at a time.
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