I Could Really Use A Wish Right Now...Wish Right Now..

Have you ever been waiting and waiting on something or someone, wishing and hoping and finger crossing, only to have it happen and have it be less than monumental?

Take for example our move. We had known for the 2.5 years that we lived "away" from home that we would be moved once again in the near future. In the beginning, I prayed hard that it was soon. Towards the end of our residence there, I pleaded for it's imminence as well. It wasn't that I was unhappy where we were at, let me make that clear, it's just that I had this looming future promise hanging over me and I just wanted to be settled.

Now, here we are. I'm truly enjoying being here and I think a future here looks promising. It's just that it doesn't feel as, and I'm not even sure of the word I'm looking for here, climactic ? I think it may be partly that it's just been such a whirlwind and I've had so many balls up in the air since we found out that it just continues to seem surreal. That seems to be the refrain for my life in 2010 actually.

Since finding out that we were being moved across the country to a province where we don't know a soul, to the actual move, to school starting, to my Dad's passing and now Christmas-it just has all been a blur. I'm actually kind of frightened for when it all hits me square between the eyes and knocks me out for the count. I know it's going to happen once life slows down, but luckily for me I've always been a fighter and I'm pretty good at taking one on the chin and still standing my ground.

There are other things swirling around my little life that are long awaited but again, just kind of meh now that they are here. I'm starting to think it may just be that I'm too tired and busy and well, maybe a little crazy, to fully appreciate all that's going on.

I believe that come the New Year, I'm going to be wishing big and little wishes. By then, I hope I can be more present in appreciating and understanding them with welcome, open arms instead of sort of just coasting along on auto-pilot. Though auto-pilot has it's merits as well.

For now, I'm keeping an eye on the prize and pushing through the season ahead. I've got my head down, but the horizon is looming and soon I'll be back to going toe to toe with wishes and dreams.

Eye of the tiger, baby.