Tuesday, December 7, 2010

I'm So Vain...No More?

So, last week as I took a big hearty bite, I heard a strange crunching sound. It wasn't SO strange that I hadn't ever heard it before though. Nope, the sharp plastic feeling wasn't foreign to my mouth.

Once again, I had eaten the covering of my tooth.

Growing up, I had a small space between my two front teeth. If it helps, visualize Madonna. I decided I hated it and wanted to get it filled in. I got bonding done and loved the look. The problem was, it cracked off several momentous times. Once, in particular, comes to mind. My sister and I were out in the food court at the local mall and I decided an egg sandwich sounded yummy. This familiar sandwich joint made a really delicious, thick, mayo induced one that I loved. As I was eating, I said to my sister that I thought they had left some shell in by accident. I can still picture her face as she replied, "That wasn't shell!! You ate your tooth!"

That happened a few more times before my pocketbook and I decided we needed something more substantial and permanent done. It was then that I had my teeth whittled down to nubs for my porcelain veneers.

Typically, veneers should last 5-10 years tops. I've had mine about 15 I'd say. My dental hygienist has been in awe of how well they've lasted and how great they look, but also commented last visit that it was probably time they got replaced.

I guess I should have taken her advice a bit more seriously, because now I find myself with a chip in the front of my tooth and a looming dental appointment. Right. Before. Christmas.

I'm hoping they can just somehow patch it up for now, and I'll get some new chicklets come spring or so. I don't really want to cough up a thousand bucks per tooth at this time of year, know what I mean? Most insurance plans don't cover veneers. Crap.

As this is all happening and I've had a few days now to lament my new umm, look, I've come to realize that I kind of wish I'd never had them done. I mean, we all like to look our best and every celebrity out there sports a pretty awesome grill. At the time, that's what I wanted as well. Yet, now that I'm "older and wiser," I think I'd be okay with the space. It adds character!

In France, that space between the front teeth means something like "luck." I'm a big Vanessa Paradis fan (Johnny Depp's wife if you don't know her) and she's got quite the space happening. She's never had it filled. Isn't it Lauren Hutton that also has a prominent space? It never caused her to lose modelling gigs, did it? Right. One more word? Madonna.

It certainly would have cost me less time, money and headaches. Now, it's too late. My teeth underneath have to be covered evermore or look like pegs-and I'm not really THAT secure with myself.

I think with age comes an inner acceptance of things that maybe once made you feel scrutinized or judged in some way. I wish I could tell my 16 year old self just to embrace the freckles, the mole, the gap in her teeth. Unfortunately, it's taken time and life and hard lessons to get to this point, and some days I still struggle.

For today? I'm even okay with the jagged crack. I'll get it fixed, but day to day? I'm okay with me.

Chipped or not.

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