If You Don't Have Anything Nice To Say....

I'm a very opinionated person, and since I was but a wee lass I've had trouble keeping my lips zipped when I disagree with someone or if I have a point to make about a topic. This has landed me in some hot water at times, stirred up huge arguments other times, or put people on edge regarding going toe to toe with me. I've debated politics, religion, style, taste, morals....you name it.

My name even means "Fighter" so I guess I sort of come by it naturally. If you add in red hair and an Irish background, you can see I was doomed from the get go.

In the last few years, I've been really, really, really....NO, REALLY....trying to take a step back when I totally and vehemently disagree about something that in the grand scheme of things doesn't really matter. It doesn't mean I'm suddenly spineless or without opinion. Nor does it mean that I will never put my two cents into a conversation if I feel that I have a valid point that may change minds.

This past week I've come across two debates via the mecca of intelligent discourse that is Facebook. I kid you not when I say I literally went to the thread, read and was poised to type and then decided I didn't need to do so. I went back to it several more times I'm sure, perfect bullet points ready to blast forth upon the screen. Again, I stepped away.

I don't want you to think I'm some sort of freak (if you don't already that is) but it really takes internal dialogue and restraint for me to not throw my hat in the proverbial ring. I mean serious conscience wrestling!

The points my rational side makes with my ego side are that I'm not likely to change any minds, rather just incite more heat, that the topic isn't really that relevant to my day to day life, and that my only goal is to prove I'm right and they're wrong so nananabooboo.  That last one is my biggest obstacle cause darn it, I like being right. (and let's face it, I almost always am!)

The final nail in halting my pontification is that old adage, "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all."  This, my friends, is a big, huge challenge. I'm no Mary Sunshine, hearts and rainbows and teddy bears kind of gal, so being perky and upbeat isn't really ma thang. I am, however, working extra diligently on surrounding myself with positivity and that starts with me. Throwing out slings and arrows may feel good in the moment (and OH it does!) but the drama hangover just isn't worth chugging the Kool-Aid.

I'm a far, far cry from earning any sort of anti-confrontational sobriety, but I'm well on my way with each political, social, artistic or moral discourse that I manage to side step without tripping over myself. It's a long road ahead, but as you know, the fight in me is strong and dueling with myself may just be my biggest win to date.