Wednesday, January 23, 2013

First Impressions

First impressions are funny business, aren't they? It's amazing to me how sometimes we can be so OFF about someone, and sometimes, we can see EXACTLY through their veneer to who they really are underneath.

I can usually tell within a short time of meeting someone if they will be my cup of tea. I guess that's not really a good thing because, I make the snap decision based on a first encounter. I'm trying to be more open minded and give people at least 3 chances to really "show me who they are," but as I'm not someone who lets many people in, generally, I don't want to waste a lot of time if it's just not going to "click" with us. All of that to say, I'm pretty easy going about folks. If you're kind and witty, we're usually good. I don't care if we have a ton in common like movies or books or walks on the sand. We're not dating!

Generally, I don't have a lot of time for a few characteristics in particular. I'm not in for shallow, because I don't care in the slightest what you make, where you live, what you drive, what you wear. Honest. That don't impress me much. (Thanks, Shania!)

I also hate overbearing and condescending. If you're coming on that strong the first time I meet you? That's probably not going to go over well in the long term.

Lastly, I don't "do" drama. Save it for your Mama! I don't want to gossip (except about celebs! C'mon! That's allowed!) about friends we have in common, I don't want to get involved in your squabbles with whomever, I don't want to watch you be a total jackass to the waiter/waitress/bus driver/teacher/fellow human being walking the Earth. 

That being said, I've learned in this lifetime that some people just don't make great first impressions, but have a heart of gold underneath. Maybe they are slightly socially awkward, maybe they're shy, maybe they just aren't very confident. Conversely, there are those that come across as "too" perfect, too put together, too high and mighty that, you guessed it, have a heart of gold underneath. In either situation, you can never know what someone is really like if you don't give it a second chance, at least.

I'm not shy. Like, at all. I can and do pretty much talk to anybody, anywhere, anytime. I am however, an introverted extrovert and at times like to just sit back and observe, or I feel kind of awkward in a new situation about how to act, how to not look like a dork, so my nerves get the better of me. That can go two ways-overcompensate by being chatty, or shut down and be uber quiet.

A neat experience is having others tell you what THEIR impression was of you when you first met. The one that cracks me up the hardest, that I got told recently, was when someone said they thought I was that kind of "has always been pretty and popular girl" that had led a charmed life. Whooooo boy. Oh, how I laughed. I've never been that girl that was super into my looks, dressed immaculately, had perfect hair, nails, clothes....anything. I'm always kind of a mess, actually, and hoodies and jeans are my life. They always have been. As to the charmed life, um, no. Don't even get me started on that. The fact that someone would be nervous to talk to me or think they weren't as "pretty" as me is so weird. Growing up, my sister was the beautiful one. I've honestly just never even seen myself in that light. I'll take the compliment for sure, who doesn't like to be called pretty? It's just not how I define myself.

All of this to say, take time to let people in a little, to let them reveal themselves to you. It may be the best friend you've ever met, or it may allow you to really make an informed call on if this new individual will fit into your life. 

First impressions aren't always be the lasting ones.


  1. My first impression of my partner was when I saw her as my dorm roommate our freshman year in college. She had a mullet and dragged in all these musical instruments including a drum pad, a violin and an electric keyboard. She also announced to me that she was a lesbian and wanted to know if I had a problem with that. I didn't. We didn't become best friends until months later. Frankly, I thought she was kind of a know-it-all and she told me later that she thought I was aloof. She was my best friend for over 25 years and now we've been together for almost a decade. So, first impressions can be deceiving.

  2. They can indeed! There's nothing more disheartening than thinking someone is great, and then feeling fooled when you find out they aren't what they seem! Conversely, a touching story like yours makes you realize that sometimes people surprise us in good ways, too!

    Congrats on your long lasting relationship! Impressive!

  3. If you make my cup of tea :) that made me make my cup of coffee :) wink wink