Thursday, June 11, 2009

Inner Circle

Friendships are important to most human beings out there on the planet, even the most reclusive ones usually have a friend or two.(furry or not!) Some people have hundreds of so called "friends" while others stick to a single digit number.

For me, I would say I have lots of friends and lots of people I see socially. These are people I can hang out with, laugh with, go to dinner with or parties. They are people I generally like as individuals, but they aren't what I call my Inner Circle.

When it comes to that group of folks, I'm very selective. As in an elite club where you need to meet the requirements for membership or no entry is permitted. That's my Inner Circle.

I'm a pretty outgoing person. I doubt anybody would say I was shy. I'm not really afraid to be brash or bold or speak my mind. If I like you, you know it! If I don't, well, you know that too. In many ways, I'm pretty open with what I think and feel. In others, I'm closed, locked and the key is thrown away.

That's where the Inner Circle comes into play. I'm very discriminating with whom I share anything I'm truly struggling with or am feeling emotional about. As I've said, I don't like talking about problems or issues because I feel weak when I do. I'm all about the stiff upper lip and being stoic. I try to stand strong in the face of any storm, even though I waver with the constant pummeling. And while most times I'd rather die than boohoo to anyone, sometimes a girls' gotta vent to someone. There are days where you need advice or an opinion, heck just a clear objective eye, into whatever you are trying to deal with currently. For me, that's a hard thing to seek and it's why it's so important to me to have a core few with whom I can do so.

My Inner Circle is pretty small. It took a long time for me to form the tight group, like I said, because of requirements. They are all people I've known for a long, long time. They are people that know me, the ugly and the pretty. They are loyal, smart, funny, trustworthy people. They are people that don't shirk any obstacle, but help me to rise above it. And they made it to the Inner Circle by showing me that they have and will always be there for ME. They aren't there to fluff my ego or always take my side. They are there to help me on my path, with all it's twists and turns and hills and valleys, even if it means hitting me with the odd metaphorical 2x4 across the oblivious head. And that's another reason why I love them. They tell it like it is, and they know that someone like me appreciates that more than just saying what I want to hear. They've shown their loyalty and their strength and that they are ever present when I need them. I may have tons of friends, but my Inner Circle is a select special few.

Some people don't have an Inner Circle. They don't have many friends at all actually. And they claim they don't need them. I feel sorry for those individuals. They don't know what the power that having a group of people giving you their strength, when you are fighting demons, feels like. They don't know the raw realness that comes from truly knowing someone has your back. They don't know what unconditional love from a true friendship feels like. That's heartbreaking to me.

I'm so appreciative of the people whom I trust in my life. I don't trust easily, and to know that I CAN with them, that I can lower the wall, is paramount to my sanity! I'm blessed to be able to count on them in all of my struggles. And I try to be there as much for them. My Inner Circle is tight, strong and healing.

Thanks for yesterday, today and forward guys. You know who you are.