There is a Garth Brooks song called "Unanswered Prayers" that says, "Sometimes I thank God, for unanswered prayers. Remember when you're talking to the man upstairs. Just because he doesn't answer, doesn't mean he don't care.....some of God's greatest gifts, are unanswered prayers."
I've found that to be so true, so many times, in my life.
You beg and hope and plead for a circumstance to turn out the way you think it should, or for a wish to come true, or a love to be forever. When it doesn't turn out that way, we're angry and depressed and lose a little faith. And then, somewhere down the line, we see that everything actually happened exactly the way it was supposed to happen. We realize that if that wish or dream or love HAD been granted, we wouldn't be where we are today. In just the right place, at just the right time.
I remember as a teen thinking that when I had children, I'd surely have all boys. In fact, I pictured four little boys. I pictured tossing a football and running around the yard. I envisioned little sweaters and cute little boy hairdo's. I didn't really know what I'd DO with girls, since I am not very girly, nor crafty or frilly.
And then, I had two girls. And now, I can't for the life of me think of what I'd do had I had boys.
I guess in some ways, I DID get to "have" boys. I ran the daycare and in so doing, played and tossed a football and taught little boys how to use the toilet. But I think it's also different as a teacher, as opposed to a Mom. And boys are truly delightful and magical in their own right. But boys ARE different, in many ways. I know that's a generalization, and there are always exceptions. Most boys however, are just a little more rough. A little more aggressive. A little more rambunctious.
And that's probably the number one reason I didn't get bestowed with boys. I'm a worrier mom. Big time. I don't like my girls to run in sandals on cement. They might trip over the end of the shoe and fall! I don't like roughhousing. I don't, and have never, wrestled with my girls. I'm not the mom that holds her kid by the feet upside down, hanging. I worry about scrapes and bumps and bruises. I try to avoid any and all possibility of those things occurring.
And with girls, it's not that hard to do so. My girls like tea parties. They like to paint and colour. They like dress up clothes and hairdo's and painting their nails. They would sit on my lap and snuggle into me for hours, reading books or just chatting. They like playing "Mommy" and singing and dancing.
Turns out I'm more girly and crafty than I thought. And, there are Moms out there that are way more suited to raising boys than I am. Who are the perfect pairing for a little boy.
Don't get me wrong-I love little boys too. I love their sweet little faces and messy scruffy hair. I love their sense of adventure and mischief. I love to see their tenderness under all that gruff acting. But I think I'd be a nervous wreck every day of their lives, thinking about what they were getting into and what they had touched that was germy and being anxious that they were running too fast on the cement!
Right now, the only little boy in my life is my nephew. He's both mischievous and sweet. He can be as tough and tumble as any boy I've ever seen, but he can also sit with a book or play quietly with my daughter. In fact, in most cases, it's her that bosses him around and instructs him what to do. And, he abides by her demands. He protects her at all costs, if anybody dares go against her. They are a month apart, and while he is about double her size, he's never been anything but sweet to her. He's that perfect culmination of what little boys are all about. And I can see the wonderful man in him, already.
But for me, and the Mom I was supposed to be......Well, I think maybe I need to be thankful for Unanswered Prayers. I have exactly what I was supposed to have. And I couldn't be more grateful for that blessing.
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