Monday, April 20, 2009

Happy 40th Sister Dear

I am just back (as of last night) from a whirlwind weekend home for my sister's 40th birthday party. She had a great, low key birthday bash at her home and I think it was the perfect way to bring in a new, and milestone, birthday. (well, minus maybe the getting sick part. Her, not me.) She was surrounded by her closest friends, co-workers and family. And she brought it in with a bang!

It made me reflect on life in general, and today, those thoughts were reinforced by the sad news that my friend's father passed away suddenly from a heart attack.

I'm a chronic worrier. I'd say that sometimes, okay oftentimes, my fears hold me back from trying new things or taking on new challenges. My way of dealing with that fear is by procrastinating and prolonging the time frame that I can "not" face whatever it is that is plaguing me currently. My other tactic is just to forgo taking part in the activity. For example, I'd love to travel the world, but I'm deathly afraid of flying. Hence, I haven't travelled. Another one? I'd love to learn to play tennis or golf. I've done both once or twice and because I wasn't an expert right off, I felt embarrassed and insecure and haven't tried them again.

In lieu of "truly living" and making this year a change in a new direction in my life, I've been trying to bite the bullet, grab the bull by the horns and try things even if they freak me out. I don't want to spend my life on the sidelines watching all of the fantastic moments and opportunities go by because of my "what ifs."

Forty is only five years off for me. And I want to get there with many items on my Bucket List crossed off and the brass ring in hand. I want to feel the fear, and do it anyways. I want to be all that I can be. I want to try to live my dreams, not just live in my head.

Watch out world! Here I come!

No comments:

Post a Comment