Friday, February 26, 2010

Mind Yo' Business

I'm very ticked off as I start writing this, so beware. It's going to be a ranting vent and I don't even care who knows it.

Why, oh why, do people invite you into their problems, asking for opinions and a shoulder, only to turn around and put the mess on you? Seriously?

I've had a stressful few months because of some drama that has been happening around me. It's not even in my own life, directly, but I was pulled into it by the involved parties. Each would come to me separately and ask me a question directly, or ask my opinion. As I am the person I am, I would give it, as honestly and gently as I could do so. Did I get too involved? The answer to that is likely a big, fat YES. Well, especially in light of today's events.

The two parties have begun speaking again. I'm happy for them because they really NEED to be able to get along. However, somehow, though they've made me a part of this whole circus, they've now told me to back off. I should say threatened me to back off.

The exchange was that I should be careful what I say to Party B, because now that they are talking, it WILL get back to Party A. This was said by Party A and I didn't respond. I've been stewing on it now for a few hours though, and I'm ticked off!!!!! Firstly, I have never said anything to Party B that I need to worry about getting repeated. Repeat away! Secondly, are you threatening me? 'Cause......I don't do well with threats. At all.

These two individuals have spent more than one day in my front hall crying and pouring out their hearts to me, and trust me, our relationship is not one where they should really be doing that with me. I've counselled them, I've listened to them, I've empathized with them. They've asked me direct questions about the other, which I've tried to answer as honestly as I could, but with as little given away as I could. I've stressed about their future, what was going to happen next and what they'd ask of me in our next meeting. I've dealt with their ups and downs and changes and twists. I've kept things private that they asked not be relayed.

Then today, this thinly veiled threat???

Don't invite me, no force me, into your crap when I have enough to deal with in my own every day life. Don't lean on me and make demands of me, only to slap me in the face afterwards. Currently, I'm trying to talk myself down from taking drastic action, and to calmly meet Party B later. I'm not very good at that, I usually tend to confront.

So, I write here. My face is warm and I'm getting more pissed by the hour.

That meditation time can't come soon enough. I hope I can keep my tongue in check, and that I can release myself from this whole situation in some way, the sooner the better.

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