Tapeworm? Yes, PLEASE

While on my weekend away, dieting and eating seemed to come up A LOT. It's sad to me that with women, that's often the case. It seems hardly anyone I know is happy at the weight or size they are at, and everyone seems to constantly be working and trying to just get that much smaller. Now, I have to say, the women I travelled with all have babies under a year old. That time in a woman's life usually DOES mean trying to get the "baby" weight off.

All of these women breastfed, and they all lost their baby weight pretty quickly. Now, they are all losing even more weight to get to their "fighting weight." One of them has lost almost a 100 lbs in total!!! That's seriously impressive to me.

We were joking that sometimes we think it'd be nice to have a tapeworm. You know, just a small one, and just for a little while. I know tapeworms are no laughing matter-don't email me with accusations of insensitivity to tapeworm victims!! My point is that it feels necessary to get extreme sometimes in order to finally get to a happy place weight wise.

I look at people who have lost huge amounts of weight, like 100 lbs, and I wonder what the heck is wrong with me that I can't muster the willpower to lose 25 lbs! How do they get that stamina and drive? I need a little bit of that! I've been struggling with the same loss for many years now! I just can't seem to stick with any one thing and I lose and gain the same ten pounds over and over again.


I think it's also that I'm not someone who really dives into things and immerses myself completely. I've never joined a sport that I loved so much I played it for life. I've tried to be all "granola" and it's just not me. I like doing yoga and pilates but there isn't anywhere near me to do it that's half decent. I do it at home, but not fervently. I like taking classes-like I took belly dancing for three years, and aquafit, but again, time constraints and desire have grown and waned. I'm just not the zealous type I guess. Guess being lured into a cult isn't gonna happen anytime soon! I'm too blase!

I'd like to declare that once and for all that I'll do this and get it off! Yet, how many times have I said that??? It's not that I don't want to lose it, or that I am happy with my current weight, but I can't seem to harness that "stick to it-ness" that they've found. I keep telling myself to plug away and get off of the notion that it's going to happen in two to three months. It'll just take as long as it takes. I'm also not delusional enough to think that once there, I can just forget my dieting woes and be carefree. Unfortunately, this whole weight and dieting thing, that frankly bores me to tears, is going to be a lifelong conversation and struggle in my head. Darn it.

Anyone got a tapeworm they can lend me for a few weeks?