Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Mrs. Intensity

You know how we always want what we don't have? Like you cut your hair short, and then want it long? Or you'd like straight hair when yours is annoyingly wavy/messy and you have to spend 45 mins straightening it and drying it out. Sigh. Anyways, that kind of thing.

Sometimes I wish I was a less intense person. I'm typically confrontational in life. I don't mean I go around starting fights with people or that I reply to every annoying person in line at the grocery store. I mean that when an issue comes up in my life, I tend to analyze, pick it apart and confront it over and over again.

I just think sometimes that it might be nice to be a "bury your head in the sand" type. How blissful would it be to just ignore things or not let stressful situations totally frazzle you. I imagine it's pretty darn sweet.

I'm easy going when it comes to a lot of things in life. I'm the friend that doesn't really care where we go or what we do-let's just go do it! I don't get my panties in a bunch if someone has to cancel on me for whatever reason. I'm not easily hurt or sensitive about unintentional slights. I'm chill with most of that type of activity. I think most of my friends would say I'm pretty casual and laid back.

Yet, there's that intense side to me that is like a dog with a bone. I just can't let go of something until I feel like I've completely wrestled with it in my mind and pinned it into submission. I mean, I'm intense in other ways too, of course. I'm a control freak about my home and my kids and wanting things "just so." You know that from reading the blog.

I know emotionally though I've been given the advice over and over to just "let it go." I can honestly say that I don't even know how to do that or be that person. I'll let it go when I'm good and ready and done with it, to my satisfaction. Hmmm, maybe that's a control issue again. I know people on the receiving end of my tenacity would like to be let off the hook when I get like that, and sure, sometimes I'd like to catch and release.

It'll just take me longer to do so, once it's been examined from every angle and each aspect of the issue debated and wrangled and made into a "pros and cons" list.

Yep, they call me MRS. Intensity.

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