Love Needs

While I was away on my "Girls Weekend" at Tremblant, we got into an interesting discussion about relationships and needs and what we do or don't like when it comes to this crazy lil thing called love.

Some of my friends have remained single by choice, others by circumstance, and still others are divorced and hoping to meet someone to share their life with again. It's amazing how different everyone is regarding taste in looks, personality and romance requirements. It actually surprises me that ANYONE ever finds a match with all of the varying people out there!

As we got to talking, and looking through profiles on Plenty Of Fish (don't ask!) it hit me that if I was out there searching again, I'd probably still pick my husband, or a facsimile anyways. Ha!

When we first met, he was VERY different from anyone I had dated previously and my friends and family weren't too sure about him. What I LIKED about him were the very things they hated. He's cocky, arrogant, and very sure of himself. That bravado is what sold me! On top of which, he's handsome as heck, makes me laugh, makes me think, calls me on my BS, and was great with my niece and kids in general. The part they didn't realize was that underneath, he's a total sensitive kitten. (he'll love me for that comparison!) If anything, he's the romantic, sweet one of the two of us.

I think for many years, I sort of....okay not sort of...definitely.....idolized him to some degree. I put him on this pedestal of being infallible and my "Knight in Shining Armour" that could do no wrong in my eyes. I mean, he annoyed me many times, but I'm more specifically referring to the bigger picture. Who knew that an unsentimental girl like me had built that up in her head, right? I'm as shocked as you!

The problem is, our love styles are very different. I go along casually, just believing that "bad times" are just part and parcel of life in a relationship, or with kids. I had set up my headspace already that some years would be tough or lean-like when the kids were little or we were trying to get our life plans sorted. I don't require a lot of coddling, or huggy/kissy stuff, and I like my space, so I just figured things were good.

My husband? He internalizes a lot more and needs more one on one time and reassurance. Who knew?

So, a few years back, we got to that do or die fork in the road and had to have some very big, important chats. It boiled down to still being crazy about each other, but having to each tweak how we relate, while respecting the other persons needs too. It sounds like a bad thing, but I think I saw my husband for who he really is at that point-flaws and all, and not the epic hero I'd created to come save me in my imagination.

The way we approach things may be very different, our needs may be very different, but if I was searching online dating-his profile, to this day, is the one that would catch my eye and reel me in. Go deeper than the superficial description, and our parenting, religious and family beliefs all line up as well. Sometimes, it takes bad times to make you see what was there all along, and what your heart was REALLY needing and searching.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I better go show some love to the man I'd like to continue to "have a longterm relationship" with and "hang out" casually.

Is This What A Mid-Life Crisis Looks Like?

I have a sort of constant itch lately. I feel like I'm supposed to (dictated by whom is what I can't quite figure?) be doing more, seeing more, being more.

When I search for what this means, delving into my head space on repeat in an everlasting playlist, I come up empty handed.

On the one hand, why can't I just be content with the status quo? Why must I always be seeking, searching, looking, yearning?

On the flip side,  maybe the days have more to offer that I'm neglecting to hope for, because hope for me has often left me charred and more than a little wary.

I have dreams, specific long term plans and goals. Yet, I seem to have no energy on a day to day basis to even consider the reach.

I tell myself, like with every move we've done, that I need to devote a year to just "being."  It usually takes that long to suss out what I want and where I'm at emotionally. The problem is, I've never been very patient. This time, it seems even more just out of my grasp. The continual loop of enquiry in my brain is draining and exhausting. It's that physical denouement that is most prevalent.

I know the best Rx for this is just to give things, give everything, time. Time. Time. Time. It's the story echoing and reverberating through the hollows of my mind.

How much time? For what?

I know many who went through a sort of turning point around 40 years old. Worse, for some, it was a spiralling plummet without a parachute.  I'd prefer to be the former than the latter.

I'll give it some time and take some small, tentative steps, because I don't "allow" crisis. To every problem there is a solution. To every uncertainty there must be a leap. I have no idea where my path is leading....but I continue to follow.

The Time, It Is A 'Flyin'

I was talking to a neighbour this morning, as we both hurried up the street after dropping our kids at school, about the fact that it's suddenly December 1st. I say suddenly because, really, how is this possible? I guess that as the routines of each day pass, one week transforms into the next and finds us already scrambling for what's looming on the calendar's horizon.


November seemed particularly busy for my clan, with obligations and social events alike. There was even a professional photo shoot (more on that to come) and a weekend away with friends for me. So, obviously it wasn't all rush with no fun!


The heading of "December" on the wall this morning has me grabbing pen and paper and making some lists of food to buy and make, gifts left to purchase (yes, I've already made a good dent) and cards to sign, address and stamp. There are social plans to look forward to, and many work events and later schedules for my husband. All in all December is an exciting, hopeful month but like all the others of late -it's one that seems to zoom by in the blink of lights, decorations, food and deadlines.


If I'm going to get it all done, with time to it back and revel in all that organization, I better get to it!

Introvert? Extrovert?

Do you think it's possible to be an extroverted introvert? Or, an introverted extrovert? Where exactly do the lines get drawn on the distinctions between the two polarities?

I'm usually what people who are introverted call an extrovert. I get nervous about speaking in public, but once I'm up there I'm totally fine and even enjoy it. If I go to a party where I don't know a soul, I'll go around the room and introduce myself and have an easy time making small talk. When I'm out and about in the world, I talk to strangers to the point where I often get their whole life story. We've moved several times, and I tend to make new friends pretty quickly and easily because I have no qualms about putting myself out there.

In fact, without social contact and a network of differing peoples and personalities in my circle, I get a little isolated and down.  That's why Twitter is so great for me, I love trading chats with all walks of life from all over. I really DO truly believe that everyone has something to teach or offer to help me re-frame my outlook. It's refreshing to me.

Yet, I am also very particular in my need for quiet space. My husband laments the fact that I'll insulate myself once the kids are in bed and I have no other obligations to my family or home. In those quiet moments of the night, I will sit quietly and surf the net or just be alone with my thoughts.

I'm also more than likely not to share personal facts or feelings outside of my own minds ramblings or with a select one or two individuals. I'm not typically the type that's going to "spill it" and ask for your feedback. I prefer to work things out in my own way, in my own time. Yes, that takes quiet introspection and being alone.

I seem to swing from super outgoing and sociable to solitary and withdrawn. That seems a little Polar now that I've expressed it as such. I'm sure that's totally the norm on the introvert/extrovert spectrum.

Right?

How Is It November?

We're already in the second week of November, and for the life of me, I can't figure out where the time has gone. We've been in our new house exactly two months now, Halloween has passed and Christmas is coming around the corner.

My kids had a great Halloween, while I continued my current state of being on auto-pilot. For the first time, my eldest went out with friends as her sister and I hit the pavement with their cousins. That felt a little strange, I won't lie! We also attended a family Halloween party with my sister's friends which was a lot of fun.

As November entered, we had my husband traveling, and much of the little things in the house done. We haven't touched any of the bigger jobs, but the decorating is taking shape. I've even done some of my Christmas shopping. My goal is to be finished by the first week in December so I can enjoy that month with friends and family.

As to my head space, I'm not sure where I'm at. I seem to have little motivation for......anything. I'm exhausted most days. I've upped my sleep and some vitamins so I'll give it a month and if there's no change, I'll hit the doctor for some blood work. I'm not exercising, I'm not watching what I eat as stringently, I'm just sort of "blah." I'm not sure if it's emotional or physical or.....so I'm just waiting it out a bit. I won't let it go on forever, no worry there, but I'll give it some time and see if I find my way back to myself.

Hopefully it won't be too long of a journey.

The Study of Human Behaviour

Humans are such interesting and tricky creatures aren't they? Happy one moment, sad the next, angry without reason, flushed with joy. It's a continual roller coaster, and every second of it fascinates me. I've always been interested in observing and analyzing, and "how people work" is pretty much one of my fav pastimes.

No matter what the background, everybody comes to adulthood with some sort of emotional baggage. It's not so much the baggage itself that interests me, we all have a story of heartache or loss, it's more the way people try to hide, avoid, excuse or handle their baggage that is intriguing.

Oh, don't think I don't peruse myself under the big microscope of self-analysis as well. I'm a confronter by nature, and I'm also uber self-critical. I've pretty much "got my number" by this point.

It's the dichotomy of allowances people make for themselves but not for others, or the forgiveness they bestow on one situation but not another, the way they'll find to loathe one person, but uphold another or the way they'll excuse those they love for the same transgression as committed by someone they don't.

There are those that act tough to camouflage a fragile and sensitive spirit, those who pretend not to hurt by acting angry, and those that avoid in order not to address or feel at all. There are those that pretend to themselves that things are unfixeable so they never have to take action.

I'm not judging or saying there's one way to "be." I think we all survive and get by as we can on this path. Some are further ahead, maybe, enlightenment and growth wise and some are finding their way little by little. Would I rather people be pro-active in some way, like finding remedies and recognizing an excuse from reality, or by letting go of blame and releasing anger? Sure, I would. But like everyone, I also struggle to always do those very things. I like to think I get there eventually, which I qualify is better than never getting there at all.

Sometimes, I think I should have become a psychologist due to this interest in the behaviors of humankind. However, Armchair Psychology 101 is a lot more fun and doesn't require actually trying to guide someone to the truth. It's a lot less painful this way, and a lot cheaper too.

Deafening Silence

As those of you who have followed this blog know, when there are lapses in posts it usually means one of two things. I'm either super happy and super busy, or I'm in a super funk.

When I'm fabulously busy with social engagements and activities, my blogging can go by the wayside. When I'm feeling out of my groove, I tend to isolate myself and close ranks so that I can ride my "stuff" out without bringing others down. That's not to say I'm all depressed, it could just mean my head, which NEVER shuts down, is working through a lot of issues and thoughts that just don't yet have a "place." if you know me, at all, you know that I don't do well without a little internal filing system. EVERYTHING has a place, or it should. Somehow, shockingly, not every issue fits nicely into my personal puzzling. That takes some introspection, and some time.

Things are moving along at a quick pace. School, travel, activities, schedules all seem to speed one week into another. Many days, I feel I'm just hanging on for the ride as we coast through. In my current state of mind, I'm okay with being dragged along. It's end of October almost, and in terms of how settled I feel? It could be first week of September.

Moving back here has stirred up a lot of differing emotions and shaken the dust on neglected chapters of books I'd thought I'd closed. They'll take some revisiting and I'll need to start finding their place once again. Some of that exploration can happen here, but because of how private a person I am, most of it won't. I'll need to seek out new outlets and activities because one can only avoid sleep and wallow in fatigue and isolation for so long.

"I'm just doing Life right now, I'm just doing Me."

Pretending It's Fall

The first "official" day of Fall passed and yet here in Ontario it's still as hot as hell. Oh, I know, I know. There are many people that "love" this weather and are so happy to see it still warm out. There are people all abuzz over how thankful we should be to have such "great" temperatures still and other individuals warning us to be thankful because when winter is upon us we'll WISH for these hot, sunny, sweaty days.

Umm, no I won't and I'm not one of those lovers of the heat.

So, while it doesn't feel like Fall to me AT ALL, it IS the official start and I'm a girl that is all about the brief season we call Autumn. In that same vein, I've decided to start fall types of activities.

We took my Mom, my nephew and my youngest to an apple orchard this weekend where we picked apples (mostly off the ground!) and played in mazes and went on a wagon ride. Of course it was blazing hot out but I refused to give in and wore a hoodie. Yep. That's how I roll. Anyways, we had a great time and the kids wore themselves out running and jumping and trying to find the perfect apple to put in their bags to take home.

After school yesterday, I assembled the group (I watch my sister's two kiddos after school) and we made some apple turnovers and a crisp. They each got to have a turnover with some vanilla ice cream for snack, and I sent some home with my sister as well. I still have an entire bag of apples left to use up, so I'm thinking I'll make two small crisps and freeze them for some comfort food down the frosty winter line.

Continuing in the spirit of all things fall, I took a deep look into my closet to peek on what I shamefully call my "fall wardrobe." To be honest, it isn't much of one. I have a few pairs of jeans, leggings, some sweaters and a few hoodies. There isn't really anything exciting. I'm torn between doing some clothes shopping for a few more pieces, or waiting a bit until it's ACTUALLY slightly cooler out and I've MAYBE lost a few more pounds. That may be wishful thinking with all the crisps and such. Ahem. All that being said, there are a few items I'd like to add to my puny closet, so maybe in the next month or so I'll get on that. As Stacey and Clinton say-dress for the body you have NOW. No sense in looking awful in the meantime right? Plus, it's always a false ego boost when you try on skinny jeans and can take like two sizes smaller due to their stretch. Thank you Lycra or Spandex or whatever it is that puts the stretchiness into clothing and makes us feel all skinny and stuff.

September has just flown by, and while it's usually my month to get back on track, I find that with the move into our new place and trying to set that up, school set up, activities and visits from family-it just hasn't happened. I have a hair appointment tomorrow for some darker fall locks and we have Thanksgiving plans with the inlaws at the beginning of October.

After that, it's ON, Fall. Bring your best game face and um, some cooler weather, please!

Barf and Christmas!

I know, what do vomit and the most wonderful time of the year have in common, right? The answer is nothing really, unless you live my life!

Sunday night my youngest wasn't really hungry and didn't feel like eating too much at dinner. She DID decide to have the chocolate cake I had bought that day though. As all were peacefully asleep, she did what she has NEVER, EVER done. She barfed a sweet chocolate delight all over the bed and herself. This is my persnickety kid. The one that hates mess and disorder. The one who brings her lunch home many a day because she couldn't eat due to the fact that other kids at her table are "gross." So, ya. She was not a happy camper.

As you can see by the date on this 'ol blog post, it's now Wednesday. It's been a fun few days, folks! My nephew also got sick all over his bed and his Mom. My sister was sick, my eldest was sick, my husband and I both felt awful. It's been pretty darn disgusting around here. Unlike my kids, my motto when I feel nauseous is to continue to eat. I also tend to eat more. Somehow I've convinced myself that it settles my stomach to have food in it. I know, stick to my day job and stop the self diagnosis.

The sliver of a silver lining in all of this rampant disease has been that my Type A, OCD personality has been satisfied for awhile with the promise of some Christmas shopping completed in SEPTEMBER. You heard that right!

My friend is travelling to New York this weekend for her daughter's 12th birthday. While she's there, she's scoring me some top secret items for my girls. They had requested these items for their "lists" this year, and now I'm saving having them shipped, PLUS, I get to feel smug that I have some gifts checked off. IN SEPTEMBER. Booyah! Thanks Claire!

My husband also went to California a few days this week, and while there managed to pick up a few more exciting gifts that will be tucked away for a cold wintry day. I'm seriously giddy about all of this and the fact that my list is already dwindling and it's still like 25C outside.

Just to keep my seasons and holidays in check and to show I haven't completely lost touch with reality, my family and I are going to hit up a "U Pick" apple orchard this weekend. We plan on picking a bunch (or is it a barrel? A bushel? A crate?) and then coming home and baking up a storm. I say storm because me + baking will certainly be a flurry of sorts. I found a bunch of apple recipes (read:easy) on Pinterest and our plan is to cook together, save some for eatin' and some for freezin'. When Thanksgiving rolls around I can haul out some of my goods and be ahead of the game!

This all goes to show that in every life a little barf must fall, but around the corner will also be a nice keener shopping extravaganza to save the nerdy day.

Or something.

Second Chances

I've had an absolutely fabulous last few days hanging out with my tried and true buds and getting myself reacquainted with others, even throwing some new blood into the mix! It's been a lot of laughs and craziness, and while I'm exhausted from more booze than I've drank in years and restless sleep patterns, it's also lent itself to some deep(ish) thinking.

According to various psychics, psychologists, spouses and friends, I am a woman that has many walls up to protect my weary heart. I've built these walls with a steady and consistent hand over the years, and it's rare that most get more than a glimpse over the top, much like Wilson on Home Improvement. Ya, I went all retro there.

So, these walls. They are sturdy and they've really served me well. The truth is, anytime I've cautiously removed some bricks while waiting for the whole tower to tumble, my prediction has become reality and the people I let in have ended up disappointing me like I knew they would. Once again, up we build brick by brick.

To this end, I've always considered myself a chick that does not, will not, has not....given second chances. Who in their right mind gives someone a second chance to kick them in the gut if they already did it once? Isn't that the very definition of INSANITY? In the least, I'd say stupidity. What's that saying? "Hurt me once, shame on you. Hurt me twice, shame on me?" I didn't invent that quote so obviously it's not a novel thought. Typically and historically then, if you've found yourself kicked over to the outside perimeter of my walls, you had best stay there. You don't even need to come crawling back with peace offerings because I don't even want to hear it.

That's what I've always felt about myself, anyways.

Yet as I lay in my tipsy insomnia, I realized that I've actually given MANY second chances throughout my lifetime. I would say many of those instances shouldn't have even happened and still just ended up being for naught-but chance away I did.

I've given chances to my parents to make better decisions for themselves and for their kids. It didn't happen. I've given chances to my abusive stepfather to FINALLY just "get better" and apologize. That didn't happen. I even went as far as going to his dying bedside to at least let him know, for my own sake, that I had let everything that he did to me, to my family, "go" and that I was releasing him from my life with that last forgiveness. I think that's an ultimate last chance!

Lately, I've been giving second chances to old friendships in the hopes that people have grown and matured and that the good qualities I enjoyed are still there, but that the ones I didn't have had time to fade away with new found knowledge and life experience. I don't tend to believe that people ever really change that much, but I guess I'm putting some cash down and rolling the dice.

Here's the thing though. I'm no longer blindly giving second chances to situations with no hope or to people with no real understanding of change or of their own actions. You can't make an egocentric narcissist see that the reason they lost a friendship in the first place wasn't the other persons doing-it was theirs. No one walked away from them-they pushed them away irrevocably. You can't make them see that what they did isn't about their sob story-it's about the one they created. Well, you can't make them see anything other than their own stakes in life-that's the very definition of narcissist. Nope, you can't lead a camel to water, or something? When I decide something, I'm pretty clear and resolute in my decision. I've been known to walk away and not even glance over my shoulder, and not feel badly about it either. I have no problem with that. The new me is allowing people to show me their true selves though, if they wish and if they feel they have something of value to offer my life. It'll either turn out all good, or they'll hang themselves with their own rope. Either or and I'll be A-okay.

Life certainly is never dull, is it? I'm realizing that I don't have to let everyone who knocks inside my inner circle, but I don't have to immediately close everyone out either. An inner peep hole to peer at their actions while they await admittance is a perfect solution.

In the end, my walls are still there surrounding my heart, and it's never very hard to do a quick patch job in any one area. When it comes to "guarding and protecting MY heart" (that's a Bachelor reference for those in the know!) I'm a reno expert. I'm the Mike Holmes of heart wall repair. I'm the Handy Manny of inner mortar. I'm the.....well, I'm the woman with the strength to recognize that sometimes people will surprise you for the better if given the second chance, and sometimes they won't. Either way, it's all a calculated leap, best served with the skill of knocking down and building back up.

Finally Bloggin'

So, I'm alive! You know, in case you were wondering. It's been a hectic time, as back to school always is, but more so with a move, new schools, new activities, my birthday yada yada.

We're beginning to settle in, but it's going to take time. My eldest has made a little group of friends she likes, people keep coming up to her at school and asking if she's "the new pretty girl from Halifax?" and she's been asked to try out for a higher grade's band since she already did a year of clarinet. On paper, she's doing really well. In person? It's a struggle. She has VERY up and down days and she misses Halifax and her life there, a lot.

My youngest has her cousin at school to keep her company and help her adjust. She's making friends and learning the routine, plus she's started Voice Lessons which she LOVES. She seems to be doing well, but also said to me the other day, "Mommy, I like it here....but it's not as nice as Halifax." Sigh. It's how we all feel.

I hate to harp on and on about missing Halifax, because there's nothing that can be done about it and because we have to give life here a fair chance, and because I don't like slagging off my friends and family that are happy to see us back. That being said, I've been on MLS looking at oceanside houses in Halifax, I've searched cottages for the summer, and I've made some seafood dishes already. I'm framing a map of Nova Scotia for my bedroom wall, and my whole house consists of shells, stones, driftwood and anything else I could stuff in my luggage to bring here with me. It's tough and I'm not going to lie-I've cried many a night with my heart just aching.

Crap, I said I was going to stop bitching about this missing it stuff. I swear, I will. It's just going to take time. That ever elusive concept of being patient.

On another note, it was my birthday the other day and it was a great day! My husband and I spent the day together shopping for things for our new home and then he took me out for a fab lunch. It was nice just hanging out he and I-we haven't had much chance to do that and there's another positive about living here-his schedule is better, PLUS, we have family and friends who will watch our kids a few hours so we can actually go on a few dates! WOW! It's a novel concept! He really does still make me laugh and smile, and at the base of all this "Life" business, we truly do get along on a totally unique and deep level. Enough sappiness, you know I don't "do" that stuff.

My birthday continued with lunch with my Mom yesterday at our favourite Thai place and a visit with her at my home afterwards. Tomorrow I'm seeing one of my dearest friends for lunch, Thursday night is dinner out with my besties, and then Friday Margaritas and some laughs. The ongoing birthday celebrating has it's merits! It's downfall is my diet and exercise has gone out the window! I'm weighing in Monday and restarting this fitness train, hopefully with a gym membership to boot. My hubs is looking into his corporate rate so I can get my Zumba/Yoga and whatever else classes started again. It's going to be ugly to begin, but I'll get there eventually. Again. Slow and steady wins the race.

As to the new house, well, it's shaping up but I have to say-it doesn't feel like "me" yet. My husband picked it out, it was his choice. We bid on my choice first but the owners would NOT budge on price, so we immediately bid on our current home. The area is fantastic, better than the other one, and it's very handy for many amenities and close to family. Aesthetically though, whoo boy, there is a LOT I want to change or that frustrates me. I have to cool my jets and realize we aren't going to be able to do all of the "projects" we want to do in the first month, or heck, even year. It's going to be one or two projects a year and that's the way it's going to have to go. Did I mention that patience isn't one of my virtues? Ya. That. My husband has actually been great, trying to help me see the potential and doing little tasks and easy fixes to make it feel more like our style. He's switched out light fixtures and painted doors and garage doors and hung curtain rods and new curtains. Next will be the kitchen counter and backsplash replacements, new stainless appliances, and then that will be it for now. In the summer we'd like to add an above ground pool and build a deck around it, as well as landscape and rebuild the front steps and flower beds, but like I said, everything in due time. Plus? I'm not sure I want to put any extra money there YET when we'd like to go away for March Break and then go to Halifax for a few weeks in the summer, and a maybe a weekend trip to NYC in the fall. Ya, we got big dreams. I wish we'd win the big lottery too. Ha!

For now, I'm going to enjoy the social activities for the week, and do some more organizing and planning for the weeks to come (it's what I do best) and then slow it down a notch to prepare for the upcoming holiday seasons. I've said from the get go that it'll take over a year to really be able to judge how we are feeling about all of this whirlwind change, especially with how quickly it all happened, so I owe it to myself, my husband, my family and my friends to do just that and enjoy. My brain never shuts off it's worry meter, but I have to try.

Part of that routine catch up will be a return to blogging both here and on momnation.ca as well as submitting more articles elsewhere. You might even find my family and I featured in a Today's Parent article in the New Year. You just never know. :)

Stay tuned-there's a lot of changes and news on the horizon, and I want you all to be a part of it.

Copycat Compliment?

They say that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, but sometimes it gets a little *too* complimentary, ya know what I'm saying?

It's one thing to see something you like and purchase or incorporate it into your lifestyle, making it your own. I DO like when people think my idea, creativity, interests or activities are so awesomesauce that they want to also do what I'm doing. Hey, who doesn't like the ego stroke?

What if it goes further than that though? What if everything you join, like, do, want, ARE, is copied? What if it happens on a repeated basis?

What then do you do? Has it gone from flattering to bunny boiling?

My sister suggests saying I've now taken up skydiving without a parachute.

Now THERE'S an idea!

Carrie Diaries And Psychoanalysis

I'm reading my nieces' books by Candace Bushnell called, "The Carrie Diaries" that are set BEFORE the Sex and the City series. As a fan of the show, it's interesting to see where these characters started from as late teens and up, and of course the growth as they became the familiar people on screen.

Many people often ask, "Which one of the four women are YOU?" There are even quizzes online to determine that very thing! While I think my friends and I all lean to certain individual characters more than others, I also feel like all women are a little part of each of them. For example, I tend to relate to Carrie the most and it's the result I get in those quizzes. However, I'm not into fashion and I don't dress kind of kooky. I'm like Miranda in that I'm a cynic and sarcastic, and not at all sentimental about love or relationships-until I had my children. I'm like Charlotte in that I'm big into manners, etiquette and trying to do the "right" thing. Samantha? Well, I'm least like her but I've had my moments.

The books are interesting because it shows the characters as very young people, and what they were like before they were the women we all came to know and love. If I look at them as described back in the day, it makes it even more clear which one I am more like, and which least.

I think the four women all express little parts that encompass the many dizzying aspects that make us women and our struggles with love and friendship and relationships, careers and family.

I have certainly changed from the teen I was with the many ideals and dreams, to the anxious first time Mom who also ran a busy daycare to the woman I am today. I've believed in things that weren't true, I've believed in people I shouldn't, I've been hurt and I've been happy. I'm finally at a point in my life where I feel like I'm comfortable and at peace with it and with myself-no matter which direction this mad storyline travels. I'm not angry or trying to prove anything anymore, I'm not harbouring resentment or fear. I've always hated game playing, and now I'll specifically remove myself from any drama that others try to create in situations where there truly isn't any. I don't want to have to fight and struggle and I wish the same for those around me. Situations that used to draw me into the fray guns a blazin' now have me walking away whistling. I'm a more open, tolerant, gal these days-with a side of feisty that will never leave me completely, of course.

I know that life always throws you curve balls when you're the most complacent, so I don't rest blissfully unaware, but if my life were a series of books and my character was riding the arc of the plot line, I'd be somewhere near the 3/4 mark in terms of finding myself and my place. It's a good place to be.

I don't believe in Happy Endings, but I do believe in creating my own Happy Enough.

In Transition

We've made it to our new/old hometown after two full days on the road, eating horrible fast food and sleeping in hotels. It was an "interesting" ride to say the least. Two kids, my Mom, my hubby and I, and our dog. On top of that we had a load of our belongings on top. Driving long distance is never fun, at the best of times, but when everyone is tense and stressed about a move none of us really want to do....well, it's kind of a recipe for disaster. Never the less, we survived and we made it to our destination.

We're staying at my sister's mansion (I joke but...not really) for the next two weeks. She's got a fantastic pool and her kids have been staying home from daycare to hang out with mine. I've literally spent every day outside, all day, with them in the pool. My nephew thinks I'm awesome (and I kinda am! HA!) for doing all the crazy jumps off the diving board that they are doing! It's been a lot of fun and even though it's kids and dogs galore, it's a nice way to transition into our new home in a few weeks.

My husband goes to do the pack and load and final close next week, and then we move into our new place Sept. 1st or 2nd. Once we settle in, it'll be registration for activities for the kids and I, and school prep and all of that good (but chaotic) stuff.

Feelings wise.....it still feels surreal to me. I don't feel like I really live here, yet. I feel like I'm on another visit. I don't know how others who move back to where they grew up feel but, for me, I really don't want to just step back into what was once my life. I've grown and changed so much in the last four years, I'd say with the most change in the last year, that the life that I once had here is no resemblance to the one I now lead. I'm looking forward to new friendships that reflect those changes, and new activities that I now enjoy. Some friendships may end, others may change and hopefully new ones will grow.

It's hard to explain to people, especially when you've moved back to your hometown, that you aren't ecstatic about the move. My family and I loved Halifax in a way we never imagined we would-I know I've said that 100x already, but it's true. I'm hoping our new "home" will make us as happy, as embraced and accepted, as our old. I pray that this move was a good decision, for all of us.

PEI Trippin' and House Huntin'

We went to PEI for 3 days last weekend with my Mom for her first visit to the island. It's a quick drive from here so not very painful at all. We had the dog in tow as well and though she's previously been anxious and a barfer (the dog, not my Mom!!!) she did totally awesome in the car.

While in PEI, we visited the beach twice and swam in the ocean. My youngest proclaimed that the "water tastes like fries!" Um, ya, that's salt honey! We saw one jellyfish, but otherwise the water was like bathwater and we had a great time exploring the beach and collecting shells. Even the pooch was a swimming fiend, going out deep and then coming back to a rock to rest a bit before heading back out.

We also went to Avonlea Village and spent time checking out the old buildings and listening to some great singing and clapping in the Fishing Shanty. My eldest was crushing on the 12 year old boy singing, and the adult dude was pretty cute too. Just sayin'

We stayed in a little cottage that was very clean and comfortable, the only drawback was the bugs were RIDICULOUS. It was so bad you pretty much couldn't sit outdoors at the cottage. My Mom attempted and was eaten alive!

We did some shopping at the Gateway Village and I ate about a pound of mussels in white wine garlic sauce all my myself. Yum-o.

As soon as we got home, I packed my bag for my flight to my new city to do some house hunting. I hate flying with a passion, so I wasn't looking forward to it at all. As in my previous post, I also wasn't looking forward to house hunting either. It was three days of running around like a chicken with my head cut off, but it also involved seeing family and friends which was so amazing and balanced out the stressful times.

One other nice thing was that my friend, who hasn't seen me in a year, commented that I seemed really different to her somehow. She felt like I seemed happier, more positive, more confident. It really made my day to hear that because it's totally how I feel on the inside, and I'm glad it's being reflected externally as well. My other friend had commented that she felt I had "come into my own" this last year and she felt I had changed a lot as well. Again, it felt incredible to hear that echoed by two of my closest peeps. It sounds totally cheesy, but I really do feel like somehow this last year, I've been at a pivotal point in my life and have taken some purposeful strides forward. I'm more "me" than I've been in a long, long time.

We flew home last night, our flight delayed by almost 5 hours making us arrive home after midnight! This morning we put in an offer on a house we saw yesterday. We were going between two homes, one older and almost completed and the other new and with less already done. The good thing with the newer is that it's bigger and we can put our own "stamp" on it in the next few years. So-we'll see how that goes. I'll let you know what happens! Until then-I'm trying not to think about it or talk about it too much cause it's stressin' me out!

Here we are heading into the long weekend and shortly after, we'll be packing up our stuff to head to our new/old city and getting school registrations done and school supply shopping and then, moving into a new home! It's a crazy time ahead, and it's moving at the speed of light!

How Am I Gonna Survive?

First off-it's HOT and sticky and muggy and there's no a/c anywhere in this town, apparently. If I'm this gross feeling in 30C, I have no idea how I'm going to survive back in +47C, with humidity. UGh. I mean, I lived there most of my life, and most people go from a/c to a/c but still. I'm not a girl that loves the heat. In fact, I was "due" Aug. 15th and decided not to be born until September. So, ya. I knew even then I wasn't coming out to the hottest summer on record. My Mom says it was the first cool night, and there I arrived. I'm all about Fall, clearly.

Next, house hunting. UGH. Isn't this supposed to be FUN? Every day, as I sip coffee and eat my breakfast, I surf MLS and Grapevine and Property Guys. There are plenty of townhomes for sale at the lower to mid end of our budget. None I really love, but I guess one I could "settle" for if it came to that. There are single homes in the mid to top end of our budget, but again, none that scream, "this is your HOME!" I'm sort of (understatement of the century) a cautious girl, so I'd like to stay lower end and have money for other things like trips and classes and gym memberships and wiggle room, as opposed to higher end with all extra going to the house. The conundrum? I don't want to drop a ton of cash on a house I only "kind of" like, and a big wad of cash at that, for one with a basement that needs finishing and things that need replacing. That seems to be the standard for what's out there right now. Guess people can afford the house, but not to do the basement? Sigh. Anyways, I'm not feeling the house buying love.

Lastly, for some reason, I can't comment back on all the great comments you guys are leaving. It logs me out repeatedly and while I can physically WRITE the comment, I can't POST it. Frustrating. Just so you know, I AM getting them and loving the feedback. Keep it coming!

Blurry Days

Life seems to somehow be moving at an incredibly fast, and yet impossibly slow, pace. How so?

Our days here are widdling down to a few short weeks. We expect to be packing it up and heading out by mid-August. Each day is planned out as we try to pack in as much sight seeing and breathing in all that we love about this end of the country. I won't lie to you, there's been many, many tears.

We have a weekend trip planned to PEI and a house hunting trip. Then, I have to somehow pack in a birthday party for my youngest (which I haven't even started to plan!) and my eldest is having one last big blow out sleepover. There's also one last hourrah for me with the fab friends I've made. All in a matter of.......oh, 3 weeks or so.

On the one hand, it seems to be zooming by and the time to leave feels like it's pressing upon me and breathing heavily down my back. On the other, I don't do well without a plan and currently, a new home and a date to move are up in the air. The pieces of that puzzle haven't yet found their place and that drives an OCD Virgo like me a tad nutso. Each day I search MLS for that "perfect" home, ranging from the bottom of our budget to the top and each day-I'm less than thrilled.

As I've done this two times already, I know things will fall into place and we'll be settled and happy come this time a few months to a year from now, but right now? It's a little stressful and teary and exciting all at once.

I apologize in advance for spotty blogging, but I promise to drag you along with me every step of this long, tedious process.

Ode To Jessica

Dear Jessica,

As I cleaned and sorted today, sweat pouring down my face and hair, my thoughts turned to you and what you might be doing at that very same moment.

Oh, I know you are off having fun with your family. You're probably spending the day swimming in the lake and making sand castles on the beach. In the evening, you're likely making S'mores by a campfire and watching lightning bugs. I know you also mentioned something about riding a Stallion and I bet you do it bareback. You're probably all about the wild buckin' broncos right about now. For all of the above, I'm more than happy for you. You needed days, evenings and nights just. like. that.

I'm sure you're even entertaining the kids every now and then with BOOBIES and thinking about paying psychotherapy bills. I hope beyond hope that you're taking some fantastic planking pictures out there in the crazy woods so that we can somehow share in your adventure. I only want to see the planking and S'more eating pics though, let's be clear.

However, Jess, my days are just not the same without you to talk to by text, on Twitter, on MFP. I don't hear about the yucky bus ride or your work shenanigans or about how you are doing with running. It's not good for me Jessica. Not good at all.

So I'm dedicating this blog post to you today. I've never done this before, so you should feel very, very special. I'm super glad you are off with your family enjoying your time together, as it should be. But I'll also be super glad when you're home to entertain me and make my day that much more fun, silly and happy.

Until then, Ride 'Em Cowgirl......and Welcome Home Soon! :)

Time Keeps On Ticking...

My Mom is here, my Mom is here! She had a good flight in, and once my girls saw her, the tears (on both sides) were a flowin! She brought me some eggrolls from my fav Chinese food and since being here has made her ever popular squares. Winning!

On the move front, not too much news to share. We've had some breakdowns (okay, mostly me) and emotions have been a rollercoaster of happiness, tears, anxiety, stress. It's a little crazy and I kind of feel sorry for any friends or family who have had the bad task of even talking to me in the last few weeks in my state of crazayzy.

We'll get the ball rolling on this end around first week of July and from the second week on we should know a little more in terms of what we'll be doing or looking for once we move. Even though I may be frothing at the mouth and a little hysterical, I'l keep you all updated about the insanity that is my life.

Diet wise and exercise wise, umm. Ya. I walked and ran on Tuesday before my Mom got here, and we've walked every day since. I'd love to do some Zumba though and really get my sweat on! I also need to stop eating eggrolls like they are candy. I'm definitely still tracking but the last two days haven't been pretty. I'm sure it'll even out soon as I figure out a new schedule that will work for my Mom being here and my kids too soon enough!

Change? I'm Just Not That Into You

I don't even really know where to start this blog post, and I know that once I wrap it up my eyes will be blurry and red.

You'd think I'd be ecstatic. Heck, everyone thinks I should be over the moon, and yet inexplicably, I am not.

My husband received news last week that he was the number 1 candidate for a promotion and raise. That's great, right? Well, the promotion has us moving, AGAIN, but this time to our home town.

So, again, awesome right?

Then why am I fighting emotions brimming so close to the surface I find it hard to contain tears?

Of course there are so many positives about moving home. There are friends, and family, and traditions and holidays to spend together. There is our old home and friends a few hours away. There is the new salary and family friendly schedule.

Yet, I feel resistant to go.

The only way I can explain it is, I feel like going home is in some way going "backwards" and not "forwards." I think I've really grown and changed, re-examined myself, in our new province. I don't want to go back and fall into same 'ol, same 'ol. Also, my heart feels like it belongs here, by the ocean. I really truly love it here. It feels like it's essence seeped into my pores with the rolling fog and I don't feel ready to let that go.

Of course, there is also the fact that my eldest daughter spends every day since getting the news in tears. She's made such fantastic connections here, with such wonderful kids. Her teacher told us it was like she has always been here, she was that embraced and enmeshed with her friendships. She's heartbroken, and my heart aches for her.

It's a new start, at a new school, again. I can't guarantee my kids the friendships they've experienced, here. But I hope, fingers crossed and double crossed. I pray for peace and contentment and joy for them, eased with family visits and time with loved ones.

Then, there's me. I've met some truly wonderful women here, women I had many plans with for the future. How can you make such terrific friends, and then say goodbye so shortly afterwards?

I've promised my daughters that we will come back here next summer. We will rent a cottage and spend the whole summer if we want. I have pledged to myself that if going "home" doesn't feel right, if my soul isn't peaceful, a year from now......I will move back. Money and finances are one thing in life, but true happiness is another.

I know this seems overly dramatic. I try to focus on the positives that I know will make me happy. I keep my mind on the faces of my best gals at home. I envision times laughing and hanging out with them, because I've missed them so for almost 4 years now. I picture my Mom spending time with my girls, and date nights with my husband since we'll have family close by to give us that break. I look forward to holidays with my family, something I haven't had in years. I'm happy for a great family doctor again and what that means for our health.

One thing I know from moving 3x now in 4 years is that we will be fine. We will make friends and find our niche. We'll have laughs and fun no matter where we are, as long as we're together.

I know these things.

As I sat in yoga today, trying to "let go of my thoughts and concentrate on my breath" I felt myself welling up and my mind scurrying and wandering.

One day, I will be oceanside again. Until then, my heart will beat with the rolling tides.

Party All The Time....Party Allll The Timmmmme

I told you June was going to be busy but awesome, right?

Well, I hate to say "I told you so" but it's SO TRUE. I'm also lying. There's nothing I like better than saying "I told you so." So, there.

On Saturday I attended my Wino Potluck with my new peeps. There was definitely wine. There was definitely potluck. I'm not sure we put much of a dent in the food at all! The wine was a different matter. There was even some planking and injuries and broken items. Now THAT'S an old skool party! I can thankfully say I didn't get injured or break anything, nor did I plank. I left that to the pro's. I did get home at 340am. I haven't been out that late in a really, really, really long time. It was a GREAT night and my stomach was sore the next day from laughing. Well, and maybe from too much wine.

Last night, I attended an evening hosted by Kathy Buckworth, author extraordinaire and all around cool person. It was presented by Microsoft for hotmail and I learned a whole bunch of hotmail's new features that will make my life as a Mom easier, less scary, more organized and even more photogenic! Woot! If you don't have a hotmail account, or had one a thousand years ago but gave it up for various reasons-you should totally go check hotmail out now!

I ate way too many canapes and sipped on white wine while chatting and laughing with some new and familiar faces. The event was held at The Press Gang and it was my first time there. Let me say-I'll be back. The service and food were A-MA-ZING. It was great to get out and socialize, of course, and I got to interact with some dynamic, witty individuals. I also went to bed too late once again. You know me though, I'll sleep when I'm dead.

Tomorrow night I'm off to my "What's For Supper" meal prep and Starbucks with the ladies. I can guarantee more laughs and sore sides.

I'm loving this life we're carving out in our new city, more and more every day. Halifax-you've been a PARTAY!

June, I Love You Man!

So. June.

It's a crazy month where everything is wrapping up and there's a hundred (okay, maybe not a HUNDRED but..) concerts, recitals, birthdays and field trips. That means there is a lot of spending as well for parties and gifts and parting gifts. (See what I did there? I know, clever)

In the spirit of needing to put things down in writing and just to make you see how entirely crazy June is in general, I have decided that today's blog will be a rundown of my activities for the month. You can thank me later.

Good news about June? She's a busy one, but girl likes to PARTAY!

Tonight, my eldest daughter is going to a birthday party. I got the invite yesterday, so we have to actually go grab a gift tonight and then drop her off.

Tomorrow, I get to escape my life as a domestic goddess and hit the town with my friends! We are having a potluck at a friend's house with wine tasting, much laughing, and maybe even some planking. If you are out of the loop about the newest fad-go look up planking on google. I'll wait.....

Sunday rehearsal for dance recital. This is for my kids dancing, by the way. In case you were wondering.

Are you still with me here? That was just THIS weekend so hold on to your hats!

Next week is a Parent Info night at the school, I'm attending a cocktail party (not in lieu of the school thing! I got my priorities on right!), the girls have dancing, a dude is coming to clean our furnace and my youngest is going to a birthday party. I'm also meeting up with friends, again, to go and prepare 6 meals at What's For Supper. You pick your meals and they have stations with everything prepped. You throw it all together and bring it home ready to freeze and pull out later. Cool, or what? I'll let ya know! We are then heading to Starbucks to meet another friend to get our coffee on.

Week three now......I go and FINALLY get a haircut and colour. If you could see my hair right now, you'd see the desperate need. I've never been to this salon though, so that makes me kind of nervous. So, I guess this day could go either way, really. The girls then go to their last dance class which means a gift for their teacher. I forgot to mention that I'm also attending an hour Zumba class twice a week, followed by an hour Yoga class. I burn a crazy amount of calories on those days-which I also promptly try to eat back. It's an issue. The weekend brings us to Father's Day, which of course means I also have some shopping to do during the week for his special day. Part of his celebrating will be attending our girls recital. Yay!

The next week is where it gets SUPER exciting. My Mom is flying in!!! Can I get a woot woot!!! She arrives on Tuesday, and I've already informed her that she BEST be bringing me some egg rolls. I'm SO over the mushy centered ones here. Of course, I'm MORE excited about my Mom being here than the egg rolls, don't get me wrong! Ahem. Then, there's field trips and my daughter's birthday party. Oh, and I need to get the kids' teachers gifts. Crap.

Finally, we're at the last week of June. This involves concerts and graduations, more field trips and finally......VACATION for my girls. I can't wait!

This month is one crazy rush of activities and events, of fun and of milestones.

I cannot wait for each and every one of them! (I'll also delight in crossing them off my list with a red pen. I told you! Issues!)

Has Spring FINALLY Sprung?

We had another great weekend, this time taking our travels to "the Valley" as they call it here. Of course, I grew up in Ottawa-which has a totally different valley but a valley nonetheless.
We went to see the sights, but also because it was Apple Blossom Festival time.

We headed out on Sunday, so we had missed the parade and fireworks and all that good stuff. We went instead to a tiny little fair that had events like firefighter bucket filling, pony rides and face painting. It was pretty small and low key, but my daughter was thrilled to get a balloon animal and we all had ice cream cones afterwards. That's always a win!

Best part of the whole excursion was just seeing the beauty all around us. We stopped at Blomidon Look Off and (according to my tour guide and friend Tammi) there you can see four counties! It was pretty spectacular! Thanks to my daughter, I also got to see the inside of an outhouse. Sigh.

It ended up being WAY hotter out than we had expected, and we were all quite depleted after just being outside for a few moments. Clearly, we need to build a tolerance to the strange warmth emanating from the sky.

That heat continued into today and gave me a real boost in energy! I did laundry, added another coat of paint to a bench for my daughter, cleaned the carpet on the stairs where a Smoothie Explosion took place, put away all of our winter gear, and mowed the lawn. I accomplished everything on my "list" today and all by noon. It's funny how the sun can just make you feel like getting off your butt and tackling some "To Do's."

I'm off to Zumba again tonight, and I hope that there is air conditioning in there! Otherwise, I may melt completely-who knew I'd be saying THAT any time soon!

Better late than never! Welcome, Spring!

Zumba...Si?

On Tuesday night, I was coaxed (okay, pretty much forced) into doing a Zumba class at the local rec center with a new friend. In turn, I asked my friend Conny to join me. The more the merrier, right? That's what I thought, plus, it's always better to have familiar faces around when you're beyond anxious.

I literally spent the day worrying about this class. I heard from various people how much of a workout it is, and that scared the poop out of me. I really didn't know if I'd be able to do the whole hour. I knew if I did, I'd net a terrific calorie burn though, so I really wanted to try. I also don't like sweating. It's never really been an issue for me, actually. My head sweats like it's going to explode, but otherwise, I don't usually get sweaty. Umm, I said usually.

We got to the class and jumped right in to the workout, or so I thought. Apparently that was just the warm up and I was already red faced. In my typical fashion, I cracked jokes the whole time. It makes me less nervous-don't judge. But as I was laughing and wiping my face on a towel repeatedly while guzzling copious amounts of water for my cotton mouth, I realized I was having a great time. It was actually kind of fun. Okay, the sweat was disgusting, but the class was enjoyable!

Zumba incorporates many of my "likes" in one class. It burns a lot of calories, it's aerobic and cardio, and it involves dance and music. The other neat aspect was that the class really DID host a wide assortment of people, from men to women, from big to small, from old to young. My friends also weren't lying to me when they said that nobody watches you because they are too busy trying to keep up themselves. I know I was focused squarely on myself, well, and the girl in front of me. Sometimes I couldn't see the teacher!

All in all, I enjoyed it enough to go back, drenched shirt and all. I'm totally not even kidding. Gross.

I'm sure like everything, at some point I'll get bored with it, but for now....I'm shakin' it while I'm fakin' it. I'm going back next Tuesday for more!

How We Spent Our Long Weekend

We had a really great May long weekend (Victoria Day is the holiday for you non-Canadians!) with lots of sight seeing and exploring. We are new to the province so it's always nice to really get to know and check out our new home, but more than that, we are on a quest to spend weekends doing something outdoors and active, as a family. This, of course, is weather permitting, which it hasn't been of late! Many times, the weekend gets full of errands and tasks, and while that does still need doing, there is ample time to get some play time in as well.

On Sunday, my husband chose Lunenburg as our destination. The weather was kind of damp and windy, but that didn't deter us at all. We spent the afternoon wandering the waterfront, browsing in little shops,lunching with a view, snapping pictures, and purchasing some fudge for the drive home. It's a beautiful little town, with so much history. I really loved it there and would go back on a sunny day. We'll likely take my Mom there when she comes for a visit.

Monday was my choice, and we headed to Truro. I had heard great things about Victoria Park and had done some Internet checking before heading out. We had lunch at Saltscapes to start our time there. It's a restaurant with down home comfort foods, served at reasonable prices, with a small and quaint gift shop attached. They pride themselves on local products, both food and decoration. After lunch, we made our way to the park. Let me just say, WOW. It's 1000 acres of park land, donated first in the 1880's and forward. It houses two waterfalls, a wishing well of stone, and many, many, many ladders and steps covering a gorge. One of these such staircases is called Jacob's Ladder and comprises 175 steep steps. My eldest and I scampered up briskly, stopping once to let others pass while we waited for my husband and youngest behind us. My youngest was a bit teary, nervous and overwhelmed by the amount of steps (and possibly the big spaces in between the steps!) but still she made her way all the way to the top. We spent about 80 minutes in the park, walking and climbing. We lost count over 400 steps and I'm sure it was closer to 500 or 600 all said going up and down. Suffice it to say, that evening we were all pretty WIPED.


On our way home from our hike, we stopped at two houses to pick up new bikes for the girls that we found on kijiji. They both needed new ones as they'd outgrown theirs, and kijiji offered the perfect (and cheaper) solution. Next up? A bike and helmet for me. I'm not a fan of road biking, but it would be awesome to bike along the trails that can be found all around.

It was a truly fantastic weekend and I enjoyed it all. I'm not sure where our next adventure will take us, but I know many are ahead!

One Month!

I can't believe we are nearing the end of May already and heading into the last month of school! Where has the time gone? We've now lived in our new province for (almost) one full school year. It's been a great year.

The coming month is a little crazy with all of the school things wrapping up-concerts, graduations, recitals, birthdays. Then, just past mid-June, my Mom is coming to visit, and staying for a month and a half approximately. I cannot wait!

My Mom and I are polar opposites in many ways. I would say personality wise, we don't really share many similarities. That said, we usually get along really well and like sight seeing, cooking, reading, and discovering new things. We can chat for hours, much to my husband's chagrin. The bonus on top of all of this is-she's a fantastic Granny. Hands down, number 1. My daughters are truly beside themselves that Granny will be here soon. I know kids love their grandparents, but I don't know that as many get as TRULY excited (especially older kids) that their Grandmother is coming to spend the summer.

We have love of plans for her visit. A trip to PEI, to New Brunswick, to Cape Breton and everywhere in between.

So, I'm counting down the month. Did I mention that I can't wait? Ya. That.

The Sun WIll Come Out....Tomorrow

It's literally been raining in Halifax for 3 weeks straight. We get the odd day of sun and you get fooled into thinking that the weather might FINALLY be on the upturn, but nope. I've started building an ark in my backyard, just in case. I'm really hoping this brings some nice summer temps into June, but we'll see. It might just bring bugs.

Due to all of this rain, and the fact that I'm clearly made of sugar, I haven't been running outside as much as I had wanted or needed in order to run the 5k for the Bluenose. I've waffled between run/walking it anyways (just doing my best), walking it with friends, or deferring it to next year.

There are a few factors that made this a tricky decision. I mean, I could just TRY to run as much of it as I could. I'm competitive, but Halifax is hilly. The problem with this option is....let me repeat....I'm competitive. I really want to do this feeling ready, trained and umm, faster than I am. I don't expect to do it in like 24 minutes or something crazy, but I'd like to be a bit more speedy. So, while I might be happy I DID it, I know I'll be pissed with myself if I walk any or have a crap time.

I could walk it instead. I'd be getting some exercise with friends and hanging out having fun for the morning. The thing with this option is-it seems silly to have paid money to walk a distance that I do twice over on any given weekend. It would likely be cool for the experience of the event, and seeing friends is always a bonus, but the challenge isn't there for me.

Lastly, I could defer it. I'm leaning to this one because there are two more 5k's coming up in the fall, one in October and one in November. I would be lighter, faster and more ready for those ones and I imagine doing the Bluenose next year would be a better showing. Who knows-maybe by then I'd be ready for a 10k? (I'm totally getting ahead of myself here!) My husband likes this option because then we can actually have a weekend together, with our kids, and go and do something as a family. Of course, he doesn't help me make the decision by saying that he thinks I could totally do the 5k easily and that I'm stubborn enough to push myself while there.

So, that's where I'm at. I'm still running on my treadmill 5x a week. I try to mix up the length of time I run and up my speed. I'm up to 45 minutes straight running, but I do some days at 25 minutes as well. I'm also trying to mix it up with some steep incline walking and jogging so I get used to hills. Yuck. Lastly, I'm 9 lbs lighter! Those of you who follow me on myfitnesspal.com already knew that, of course. Those of you who don't are either skinny bitches or don't like me. Ha!
I'm also still doing yoga about 3x a week. I find it's the perfect stretch for me after a run.

So, with all of that said, I'm not sure what my long weekend ahead will look like-but it will be good whatever happens. I just know it!

Oh-and for those of you Jonesing to see pics of my girls' bedrooms-I didn't forget! I'll get those up this week or next at some point! We bought my youngest a little table and chair that I'm re-purposing and she has a bench that I'm sanding and repainting as well. So, I'm not quite done the projects in there yet but I'm on it!

Cue The Waterworks....

Are you the type that wears your emotions on your sleeves? If you are happy, do you practically beam with giddy overflow? When sad, do you let the tears fall unabashedly down your cheeks? Does anger seethe and rip through you with no restraint? When surrounded by chaos and stress, does your body take the hit?

I write those words like they aren't totally foreign concepts to me, and yet, not a one of those describes me. It's not like I'm all blank faced all of the time, it's just that, outside of my family, I try to keep how I'm feeling on the down low.

Lately, however, it's like some sort of hormonal alien has taken over my body. I literally can't seem to contain any source of emotional content. For me, that's totally horrific. I hate nothing more than letting myself be weak (how I see it for myself, not others) and breaking down, in public no less! What the what what?

My husband and I spend Mondays together, his "weekend," and while those days often entail errand running, we also try to squeeze in a sort of "date" day. It might just be shopping together, or lunch, or spending the day napping and lounging in bed.

This Monday, we decided to go out and have a nice lunch together. We were pleasantly discussing various topics ranging from the news, politics, our house plans, our kids, yada yada, when we veered dangerously left to topics best left undiscussed. Now, anyone who knows me is aware that, I don't LET topics generally, "go." I'm not the sweep it under the rug and pretend everything is fine type. I'm a confront, confront, confront until we've put this baby to BED, type. So I usually have no qualms just laying it all out there. However, as I've said, I've been having trouble keeping my emotions in check lately, and sitting there in Moxie's, the waterworks started.

Not even just a little trickle of sniff sniff. Nope. It was full on tears, have to look away so people don't see me with rivers down my face and streaked mascara torrents. Yikes.

It's been a stressful time, and Monday was the day that my Dad's wife was going to court to take over as Executor and basically kick us once more in the collective guts. I was trying to keep busy to avoid having to think about it all, which clearly I shouldn't have been since it's not my usual way of dealing and results in Tammy Faye Baker copycatting. Compound that with other stressful topics and discussions and roll it all up in a neat, tidy little package called, "Welcome to your Moxie's breakdown." Guess I was overdue.

I, of course, was totally mortified. I'm hoping it never happens, EVER AGAIN, because frankly I don't like looking into the mirror at a streaky faced stranger. I pulled myself together and off we went about our business for the day, hormone crazy free.

My husband then cheered me up by buying me a Starbucks, writing me silly notes on post its and on the ipad every time I left the room, and by generally ignoring that I'd lost my shiz all over lunch.

By bedtime I found myself back to my normal stoic self. Phew.

Stiff upper lip, hip, hip cheerio-and all that.

The emotional alien inside me has left the building!

Now STAY OUT!

Where Does Time Go?

The weeks just seem to be flying by around here, maybe because it seems like every time I turn around there is something that needs to be done, a kids school function or dance class requirement. There's also getting stuff finished around the house. We moved here over 6 months ago, and I know from experience it'll take over a year to have the house how we want it. At least, starting to look how we want it.

I've been painting a few little things like mirror frames and such. There's a few more little jobs like that to do. Then comes the big painting job. We are planning on painting the whole house except for the basement. It won't be fun, at all. I'd like to get it done before the end of the school year, because getting ANYTHING done with the kids home 24/7? Not so much. The exciting thing is, once it's all painted, we can start decorating and putting up pictures! We would also like to purchase a few more furniture pieces. We also need to paint the front and back door, the front porch and wash off the deck and beams. I'd also like a shed for the backyard so we can get some of the storage out of the house. Yep, projects. Luckily for me, most of those jobs fall to my husband.

I'm still running, trying for 5 days a week. When I'm not running 35 minutes straight now, I'm doing intervals. I HAVE to start running outside more often, but when I see rain and wind, I just don't feel like it. So, I head off to my treadmill. I found out last night that I need new runners, big time. I actually had to kick mine off at the end where I was just doing my walk to cool down. They cramp my toes on one side something awful, just when I do intervals. I've had them about 2 years so I guess it's time, and I know with running you need to replace them more often. Any recommendations? I know I've been referred to go to the Running Room and have them fit you-but do I really want to spend extra money just for a casual fairweather runner? I mean, I own Nike's and I typically spend more than seems reasonable on runners but.....

Partnered with the running is the myfitnesspal.com thing. I'm set at 1200 calories a day. Well, let me tell you, it's HARD to stay in that calorie range if you don't work out EVERY day. I'm not willing to give up a snack or two each day, so I try to either run or do yoga or walk my dog. Last night, for example, was ridiculous.

I knew I'd be over my calories yesterday. I was busy doing "house stuff" all day, so I didn't get my run in. The girls have dance and we get home about 8pm. By the time we do bedtime routine and such, it's 9pm. Well, then I had to watch Survivor and make lunches. I figured I'd just leave it at being over. The more I sat though, the more it bothered me to see that red negative. At 1030pm, I got on my treadmill and started walking on an incline. I joined a Twitter party I had wanted to attend, and once it was done, I started doing 10 intervals. I finished the whole 500 calorie burn at almost midnight. Umm, obsessed much? I was literally pouring sweat-which is not like me but felt AWESOME. I had some water and hit the sack.

That about sums up my life in a nutshell right now. Running, yoga-ing, kids school and dance, house stuff. Normal day in the life of a Mom, no?

Love And The Royal Wedding

I got up extra early this morning in order to watch William marry Kate. I've been watching coverage all week and knew I'd be up with the birds (crows,specifically) in order to not miss a moment.

You'd think I was a big romantic, not wanting to miss a single lovey dovey sigh. SO not the case. I'm not typically sentimental, or romantic. Even at the height of being "in love," I've never been the type to get all giddy and sappy about romantic overtures or gestures. Some girls might see that as cold, I see it as being a realist. I'm a total cynic, and since more than half of marriages end in divorce and most people take their vows with a grain of salt in the long term, I'd say the stats are on my side.

That said, I watched with tears in my eyes.

My family, specifically my Mom and Granny, are/were Royal Watchers. I was 8 years old when I watched the courtship of Charles and Di and then watched their wedding on TV. We had books of engagement photos in my home, and trinkets of the event. I also watched Fergie and Andrew's wedding, Williams first baby outing, and ultimately, Diana's heartbreaking funeral. I even remember the moment when coverage showed the car crash and sitting in my ground level apartment on the edge of my couch, tears streaming down my face.

This morning found me sitting on the edge of my couch once again, tears streaming down my face. I watched the whole event with Diana in my mind. William looks so much like her, from the shy mannerisms, small smiles and red flushed blushes. It's shattering to me, as a Mother, that he doesn't have her there. I believe she was in spirit, however.

My favourite moments were Harry whispering, "wait til you see her!" to William with a cheeky peek, when William saw Kate and said, "you look beautiful!" and Kate's questioning, "are you happy?" once in the carriage. I also loved the furtive glances and the shy, polite kisses on the balcony.

I'm glad that while they followed some traditions, they also chose to buck others. Kate is the first Royal bride to wear her hair down (shocking, I know!) and to do her own makeup. They blended their own sense of selves with the decorum of a Royal wedding.

One thing this marriage may have going for it is that they have already been together for 8 years. By now, they should have a sense of who they are and what they want in future. Hopefully, they've worked on their communication and are realistic about each other and themselves.

Even the grand cynic in me hopes for love and trust for them both. I can't help it. While I am by far a practical person, I seem to still cling to that hope that they will find happiness and security for a lifetime, together. After all William has been through and the losses he's already suffered, I wish this for him.

Being a tomboy, I never got into that whole "Happily Ever After" fairy tale whimsy, but maybe, just maybe....this WILL be a happy beginning to a wonderful life together.

No Lack Of Confidence Here

I'm a big GLEE fan-I really love the show and have watched from night 1. It pretty much goes with my love of any type of musical, which has been the case since I was very little. I've seen a few Broadway shows as well, and just can't seem to get enough of the genre.

I've passed along that love to my girls. Obviously, not all GLEE material is appropriate for their viewing though, so I let them watch with my hand on the fast forward button. Sometimes that means they just get to see the songs, sometimes they see parts of the show, and sometimes they watch the whole thing.

Last night's episode was all about accepting yourself as you are, acknowledging the things you don't love, but taking it all as part and parcel of what makes you uniquely you.

My girls and I watched some of the episode today and it started a rather interesting conversation.

My eldest said, "Well, I'm totally awesome but I guess if I HAD to pick something, I'd say my toes."

My youngest answered, "I don't have ANYTHING about myself I don't like! There may be things OTHER people don't like about me, but I like everything!"

There is no lack of self-confidence or self-esteem in my girls, clearly. How refreshing to see such total acceptance of themselves! I hope they can take those attitudes with them throughout tumultuous teen years and beyond.

Maybe tempered with a "wee" bit more humility.

'Twas A Glorious Time

We had a totally fantastic Easter weekend, the weather was great, the food was delicious and I got in a lot of family time and exercise! Even though I was kind of glad for routine to return (sort of) this morning, I DO love having my little family all together, all day.

Friday my youngest went to a playdate where they did an Easter Egg Hunt, dyed eggs, made cupcakes and did a craft. She had a blast! My hubby, eldest and I all went to the market and got some apples and then picked up a bunch of seafood. I made a veritable seafood feast that night! I wrestled (literally) lobster into a steaming pot, pan seared scallops, made mussels in a scrumptious broth, did some haddock for the girls and brought out a baguette. It was so delicious! I'm amazed at the price of seafood here and could eat it daily. How was I not born a Maritimer? Given my love for all things ocean, seafood, Celtic and such...I feel like I'm where I was meant to be. Corny, perhaps, but true.

Saturday the gang and I played outside with chalk and water and mud. Kids just seem to love that sludge and it's a nightmare to clean up, but that's what being a kid is about, right? That night, we gathered round the table to dye eggs. We all did various colours, with my girls mixing a little "too" much and getting brown a few times. My husbands' egg was the best though. He did a green and orange top and bottom, leaving the center white. Ya, the Irish flag. I felt a little misty eyed.

Easter Day I kicked some exercise BUTT. I ran a straight 35 minutes, walked on an incline for 5 minutes to cool down. I then did yoga for 25 minutes. Finally, after dinner, we took the dog and went for a 30 minute walk. I TOTALLY exercised off all the calories from my delicious roast and scalloped potato dinner. I actually managed to get exercise in and stay within my calories most of the long weekend. When I weighed in yesterday I was a bit scared, but the scale rewarded my efforts with a 2 lb loss. I'm down 4 lbs now since I really started recording, but more importantly, I'm feeling like I'm being truly accountable to myself and not for any reason but my own betterment. That's a personal victory, right there.

Next on the agenda, I mentioned we had painted my youngest daughter's bedroom. We spent some of the weekend putting up her pictures and hooks and such. Yesterday was room painting day for my eldest. The best part? SHE worked alongside her Dad, doing all of the lower cutting in. That means that "I" got out of it! Yay! I had to help around the window frame and door, but otherwise I spent time with my youngest out in the sun. We took our pooch for a long walk, through woods and up gravel paths, stopping at the park for some swinging along the way.

Today, I put my eldest's room mostly back together. There's picture hanging and stuff to be done, but it's almost complete. I rearranged her furniture how she wanted it and reorganized her closet and drawers. That in itself was a workout! I also took the liberty of chucking some stuff out that she hopefully won't notice. (fingers crossed she's not reading!)

All in all, it was a busy, fun, active, happy weekend. I've never felt more truly blessed.

Running Part Deux And Eating Non-Stop Part.....

I've been fighting a constant snacking urge since Wednesday-ish? I'm totally sure it's a hormonal thing (if you know what I'm saying, and I know you do) but I've been more acutely aware of it this time. That hasn't STOPPED the overwhelming need for salty/spicy snacks, or little bites of chocolate, but it's first steps I guess. I've been under my calorie range every day, and I'm exercising five days a week, so I have to look at the week as a whole and not just "today." That said, I also don't want to start excusing these little overages because THAT can be a slippery slope. So, on to tomorrow and a new day. It's kinda not the best day to get my mindset refocused, being Easter Sunday and all! I figure I'll just look at it as the ULTIMATE CHALLENGE instead!

It's just my wee family here for dinner, since our extended families all live in another province! I'll be making the meal for all of us, which has it's perks. I can keep my eye on how things are prepared and what goes in them. I did a vote with the fam, and we've decided to have a roast. (I also had a turkey breast and a ham!) I'm making scalloped potatoes with it, green beans with almonds and grilled asparagus. Dessert is cupcakes for the kids, and I'm making an apple streusal for the adults. We also always have hot cross buns for breakfast before heading to Church.

Now that the bad news and Easter news is out of the way, on to the running news!

Yesterday, I hopped on my treadmill to do another 25 minute run. I had my music going and after the 5 minute warm up walk, began jogging. I got to the 25 minute mark and still felt awesome, so I figured I'd keep going since 28 minutes is in the Couch to 5k in the next day or two. Once at 28 minutes, I STILL felt amazing, so I continued on to 30 minutes. I then walked 5 minutes at a 5 incline to cool down.

I was totally sweating bullets (well, my head anyways) but I felt incredibly fabulous! I did my yoga to stretch myself out and cool down and then just lay on the floor a bit savouring the moment and how fantastic I felt.

Writing this all down now, makes me realize what a difference a day makes! I went from feeling terrific and on top of my game yesterday, to total mess today. Big picture has been mostly upswing though, so I'll keep those feelings and that momentum in the forefront of my mind as I go into the holiday tomorrow.

Hoppy Holidays to you and yours!

Runnin' Runnin'

So, all week I've been running on my treadmill as opposed to outside, whether due to time constraints or rain and wind. I'm on Week 6 now of my Couch to 5k, but I'd like to do some of the Week 5 outside before I proceed on the outdoor path.

Anyways, I did Week 6 and completed it on my treadmill yesterday. I've been struggling all week with my running though. Each time I've stepped on the treadmill, I have been really NOT feeling it. I've still pushed myself to "get 'er done" though.

Well, yesterday's run was to go for 25 mins straight, no walks. After my warmup, I was already dreading the run component. I set my incline and speed and started chugging along. Now, for the first 15 mins my mind kept going over how much time was left. I mean, like, repeatedly. I kept counting and counting. I finally decided I needed to concentrate on my music or think about my Easter weekend plans or SOMETHING, ANYTHING other than watching the time tick slowly by.

Around the same time, I started the inner dialogue about walking "just for a minute." While my brain argued back and forth, I kept on running. I was telling myself that "you got this" and "don't give up, there's only 5 mins left!" I'm pretty stubborn, which in this case worked in my favour. Other times? Not so much.

I ended up finishing the whole run without one single moment of walking. I was totally impressed with myself and mentally gave myself a high five! I did all of my
C25K program this week as it was designated, even though at no point did I want to do it. That's a huge step for me, and I know it's largely due to inner fortitude coupled with a great support network. I KNOW the ladies on myfitnesspal will be checking in, and I feel like I need to be accountable. That's a great motivator!

My goal this week was to workout at least 5 days. I have not a one doubt that I'll do it.

Now about that getting to bed earlier goal.....hmmmmm

Goals And Rewards

So, my new friends here have been really recommending Jillian Michaels podcasts. I've never been a Jillian fan so I was leery-but they assure me it's worth hearing what she has to say. I have yet to get on that, but it's on my radar. That said, they were discussing Jillian's belief in goals. The theory goes that without goals, you have nothing to work towards and you will give up or throw in the towel sooner.

That whole discussion has really got me thinking. On the one hand, it's like what I've taught my girls. The goal isn't to get a reward, but rather just in the doing. An example, we don't pay or reward them for good grades. We want them to just get inner satisfaction of doing their best and having the grades show for it. It's an intrinsic reward rather than an extrinsic one. The reward is in the hard work showing. It's kind of the same with weight loss for me. The reward is getting healthy, fit and meeting a goal weight. That's my "end goal."

That also led me down the path of rewards, though. We were discussing rewarding yourself for meeting certain milestones. One could be hitting a certain weight loss number (say, the first 10 lbs) or reaching a significant physical challenge (running a 5k.)

Once again, I had nothin'. I don't have any real "rewards" set other than just meeting my goal and feeling better about myself or fitting into my clothes from back in da day.

I DO believe that as women, we often don't pat ourselves on the back. I know I'm always sure to let my girls know how proud I am of their hard work and dedication to an endeavour, yet if things get hectic, the first thing to go out the window is me taking time to do something for myself. How come I don't treat myself with the same support and enthusiasm?

I know that, for me, setting a long term goal often seems surreal or so far down the line it's abstract. It works well if I set several small timelines that I can have the satisfaction of checking off on my path to the big goal.

As of today, these thoughts are mere swirls in my headspace. I'm going to ponder them throughout this week and next week I'll put in writing what my rewards and small goals will be. From there, how can I NOT help but look forward with optimism and anticipation?

On a totally unrelated note, my friend Angie posted on her blog http://angiealltheway.blogspot.com/2011/04/healthy-delicious-hummo-de-gallo.html about her hummus addiction because of it's crack like quality. I, too, have a total hummus umm, problem. I had recently purchased the PC chipotle and roasted pepper topped hummus. I also had some Garden Fresh medium chunky salsa on hand. Angie's idea was that hummus can be high in calories if you go over around 2 tbsp's at a time but it's so dang yummy that it's easy to do that. She had the BRILLIANT brainwave to make it stretch and keep the calories down by mixing it with salsa. I tried it today and WOW. I don't know if this will just create an even WORSE addiction, but it was DELICIOUS. So delicious that I found myself using my finger on the bowl to get every last drop. Yikes. To me, it kind of tastes like a chipotle chip dip? Whatever it reminds me of-it was seriously awesome. I was skeptical at first, but am SO glad I tried it. I can feed my hummus addiction while still watching my calories. Take my word for it-try it!

Mostly Odds, And Some Ends

So, I haven't updated since "Free Range Chicken" day. It was, to say the least, delicious! I roasted it in the oven with some herbs and lemon, potatoes and carrots. We ate it for days! Right after that meal, I took all of the chicken off the bones and stored it in the fridge. I made a broth that night. We had sandwiches, I made a Thai soup, the kids had it in their lunches, plus the main meal. I also made a casserole. There is no way in heck a grocery store chicken, which contains a lot of water to increase the weight and therefore price, goes that far. It was definitely worth the cost, to me. I'd think buying a few in bulk would be more price effective, so I have to get on that. Really, it was more like buying a turkey. I didn't take any pictures, however. D'oh! I keep forgetting to do that and adding them to the blog. I guess I haven't come out of the "privacy" and "creepy people looking at my stuff" phase of blogging. I'll get there!

On Sunday, I headed out into the rain to meet a bunch of new friends for brunch at Cora's. I ordered the "Good Morning" breakfast with two poached eggs and whole wheat toast. It comes with 4 slices of bacon and home fries. I drank tea and water, ate my eggs and one piece of toast, and two of the bacon pieces. I did good! We then headed to Starbucks for more chatting and laughing and I indulged in my current addiction-the Tall, Skinny, Caramel Macchiato. Dang that thing is delicious! I was so full that I didn't feel the need to eat again until dinner! Food aside, those women are all so great and I'm SO happy I met all of them. They are all bright, funny and interesting. It was an awesome start to a dreary day. The rest of the day was less fab, consisting of grocery getting and errand running. Boo, hiss!

Yesterday, my husband and I decided to tackle some things we've talked about but put off since moving into the house. He built me a large chalkboard for my kitchen. The idea isn't for the girls to colour (though they'd have you believe otherwise) but rather for me to write down the menu for the day, or inspirational quotes. I'm totally loving it!

We also took the kiddos to Home Depot on Sunday night and let them pick out their own paint colours for their bedrooms. My youngest picked a Disney pinky/purply colour (called something something....cloud) and my eldest picked a soft baby blue. I helped my husband do the cutting in and then he painted the walls afterwards. We only got my youngest's room finished and I put it all back together today. It looks FANTASTIC. We'll finish my eldest's room this weekend. My girls are at that age where they have SO many toys, but they don't want to get rid of anything for sentimental reasons. Let's not even talk about their Webkinz collections. It's difficult to manage all of the toys in an organized way and still have the room look decent! You know me and organization though! Love! So, they each have many bins in the colours of their rooms, and now have a hanging shelving system to contain some of those stuffed toys. There's still more "stuff" on surfaces than I'd like, but you know what? It's not my room.

I have to also say, I was struck yesterday by the fact that I'm pretty darn lucky to have a husband that is so handy and capable. He's pretty much awesome at building stuff, fixing stuff, painting etc. His family had a painting/fix-it business on the side while he was growing up, so he grew up doing all kinds of things. I, on the other hand, am the least handy person alive. I don't know how I'd do anything "home improvement" wise without him. Thanks hubs!

I will make this promise right now, so it's in writing and I can't forget! Once both girls rooms are complete-I'll post some pics on here for you all to see! Sounds like a plan! Now, just have to find a way to minimize any identifying features! HA!

I also picked up a bunch of little accessory type things for the powder room. We haven't really decorated much since we still plan on painting the whole ground and upper levels, but I figured why not. I got two pictures for a steal, a candle, towel and various other decorative pieces. It's starting to shape up around here!

Now that we've almost painted the girls rooms, I'm contemplating painting the rest of the rooms ourselves. We had talked about hiring painters but since I'm home-I think I could get a room done a day or so. What would likely happen would be I'd do cutting in and let my hubby do the rolling but ya know. Same idea. I have a bunch of other decorating ideas I'd like to tackle in various rooms, and front and back door painting, deck painting, deck building, shed buying, front step painting, flower planting.....Wow. My husband is going to be REALLY busy!!! I'm really, really good at supervising though. Really! Just ask him! He LOVES it.

Rainy Thursday

It was kind of a dark, grey, windy day and I was bummed when I woke up that I wouldn't be able to get a run outside. I was also super tired, again. I don't know what it is with me lately, but I'm EXHAUSTED. I guess I'm still fighting whatever, because the cough at night is also still ridiculous.

I got up and had some breakfast, and then decided I better get my gear on and hop on the treadmill ASAP before I talked myself out of it in favour of snuggling in for a nap with my hubby. He had crawled back into bed after the girls went to school and slept cozily until he had to go into work a bit later.

I did my Couch to 5k Week 5, Day 2. Today's "run" was running 8 minutes at a time, several times. I didn't struggle at all. Now, obviously, when I take this outside again it won't be that easy. The sun better be back soon because I need to get this down so that I can actually RUN my 5k at the end of May.

After the treadmill, I threw a load of laundry on and did my yoga. My dog was a nutcase today, licking me and sitting on me. It wasn't very relaxing. At all.

Once done, I switched laundry loads, cleaned the kitchen counters and surfaces, and got out my free range chicken.

We had bought a free range chicken at the market the other day, our first. Everyone I talk to says that once you eat a free range, you'll never go back to grocery store chicken again. Guess we'll see! I rinsed it all off with salt and water, and then put it in a roasting pan with lemon and herbs and roasted it in the oven. My plan is to get three meals out of this one bird. Tonight is with roasted potatoes and carrots and steamed green beans. Another meal will be chicken soup. I'm hoping to use meat from the bird for sandwiches as well as in one other meal-a casserole of some sort perhaps.

So, our dinner is almost ready. I've updated myfitnesspal for my day so far and encouraged and supported my peeps who are kicking BUTT, by the way! I did most of my "chores" though I have folding ahead of me tonight.

I feel like, despite the weather, I got almost everything on my "To Do" list done. I didn't get to cleaning the bathrooms....but tomorrow is another day. Besides, I'd rather enjoy my time with my girls tonight than worry about dirty bathrooms.

See ya tomorrow!